What regrets to you have to the 2023 college cycle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not hiring an independent counselor. The schools ones always put the interests of the school above the interests of your own child. You cannot trust them.

For my kid, not having enough high reaches. My kid did not put any high reaches down because (see above) the counselor made DC feel admissions was extremely unlikely. But my kid got into every single school applied for, including all reaches. I thought that the counselor was too negative and argued with DC about this, and DC now says I was right, in the end.

That having said, we are quite happy with the outcome. DC is going to a SLAC that is a great fit, with a huge amount of merit aid.

Public or private (I am assuming private but asking as I feel we may be headed down this path).

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Test prep was a waste because their score stayed the same.

It does happen with some kids. I have one that had decent tutor and 20 hours of test prep and score was the same. That kid has ADHD/ExFunctioning issues and thus not good at test taking. Got a 26/27 Act every time.
2nd kid is higher stats (better grades) and went up 160 with 4 hours of test prep. The additional 6 hours and 3 practice tests gave same results +/1 20 points. 2nd kid used the tutor to learn the "tricks" and obviously quickly figured out how to take the test.

Test prep to learn the "tricks"

Meritocracy indeed.

What jobs require someone to take tests cold?

Ones with drug tests

YKWIM, but whatever.

[Anonymous]

Regrets: Not being 100% clear with my daughter that where she goes it's fully up to her, and that in our family our financial situation may change last minute and that may dictate where she goes and she needs to stay flexible. We did not have enough money saved to let her just choose wherever she wanted to go. I think expectations were set that if she achieved much academically that the seas would be somehow parted for someone like her and much would be given. No matter what we said she thought it was going to go that way. So when merit aid came in and heavily favored one school over another, we as parents naturally looked at it like that was the natural choice. I think she set her expectations high for these hard to reach privates and so even though she got in, there was never a chance we could pay, which was a waste of time for everyone. We told her from the beginning that for our particular situation, finances were the top priority and she really didn't listen well, but we should have figured out a way to get through to her.

[Anonymous]

None. My average child (average by DCUM standards) did very well in terms of admissions and financial aid. He did better than I expected. His list was very realistic and he got in nearly everywhere.

[Anonymous]

If I were a college admission officer and saw that an applicant was applying to 30 schools, I would wonder how much they care about our school. Does it look like the student is just throwing Jell-O at the wall hoping anything sticks? Why is this student even applying here?

Maybe less is more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not hiring an independent counselor. The schools ones always put the interests of the school above the interests of your own child. You cannot trust them.

For my kid, not having enough high reaches. My kid did not put any high reaches down because (see above) the counselor made DC feel admissions was extremely unlikely. But my kid got into every single school applied for, including all reaches. I thought that the counselor was too negative and argued with DC about this, and DC now says I was right, in the end.

That having said, we are quite happy with the outcome. DC is going to a SLAC that is a great fit, with a huge amount of merit aid.

Public or private (I am assuming private but asking as I feel we may be headed down this path).

Private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry the formatting messed up. What I wanted to say is that there will be plenty of rigor at the T50-100 range. There are a lot of excellent students who are opting out of the T30 insanity and focusing on T50-100 (I know several). They are getting enormous merit aid packages and an environment not filled with Tracy Flicks. I think it will be a good match.

I wish I had pushed kid to apply to more SLACS in the 50-100 range. They received lots of merit from the two where they applied and it would be nice to have more choices.

Kid was highly resistant due to anxiety. Getting them to apply at all was difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regrets: Not being 100% clear with my daughter that where she goes it's fully up to her, and that in our family our financial situation may change last minute and that may dictate where she goes and she needs to stay flexible. We did not have enough money saved to let her just choose wherever she wanted to go. I think expectations were set that if she achieved much academically that the seas would be somehow parted for someone like her and much would be given. No matter what we said she thought it was going to go that way. So when merit aid came in and heavily favored one school over another, we as parents naturally looked at it like that was the natural choice. I think she set her expectations high for these hard to reach privates and so even though she got in, there was never a chance we could pay, which was a waste of time for everyone. We told her from the beginning that for our particular situation, finances were the top priority and she really didn't listen well, but we should have figured out a way to get through to her.

Parents need to be really clear with worst case scenario - "This is what we can afford. Period. End of story." If it's never, then explain, "this is never."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish we'd started touring schools earlier and spread them out more.

I’ll second that! And toured more affordable schools like SUNY and some Illinois.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m advising my next kid to fight for every half grade in every class. Not a lot of room for error with grades.

Teachers will hate your child.

Not a smart thing to teach them for college either.

Caitlin Flanagan writes about exactly this during her time teaching at Harvard-Westlake in an essay called “They Had it Coming,” in the Atlantic Monthly.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/04/what-college-admissions-scandal-reveals/586468/

My comment was taken out of context. My DS had a problematically relaxed attitude towards grades. He needed to be focused more focused like all the other kids are. Grade inflation is rampant and B’s don’t cut it anymore

FYI her own sons went to Harvard Westlake then NYU, completing a trustfundbaby major.

She was an English teacher and a counselor at Harvard-Westlake. It was inappropriate to comment on her experiences there

Fortunately, because it’s Caitlin Flanagan, we know that nearly all of it is entirely fabricated.

FTW

[Anonymous]

I wish my DS had studied more for the SAT. He did really well, but with a little extra work he could have been a NMF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m advising my next kid to fight for every half grade in every class. Not a lot of room for error with grades.

This absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m advising my next kid to fight for every half grade in every class. Not a lot of room for error with grades.

Teachers will hate your child.

Not a smart thing to teach them for college either.

Agree! The professors cannot stand the grade grubbers.

As a former premed at Columbia who attended a top 3 medical school, they hate the game not the player. You absolutely have to fight for your grades if you have a legitimate case. I learned this the hard way. You fight every point IF you have a case.

What you should never do: whine over a legitimate bad grade or let your parents call a teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: If I were a college admission officer and saw that an applicant was applying to 30 schools, I would wonder how much they care about our school. Does it look like the student is just throwing Jell-O at the wall hoping anything sticks? Why is this student even applying here?

Maybe less is more.

Do the admission officers see how many schools DC applies to? I did not know that they can see that info

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have encouraged DC to play the "intended major" game more strategically - pick a major in the college you want that isn't as popular (e.g. for a girl, choose chem or physics instead of bio) and then just do what you want once you're there. Obviously doesn't work for schools that direct admit to a major.

This is how I got into Rice and JHU as an English major.