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Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities
How to get family member to have neice evaluated...
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Anonymous
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My brother recently visited with his 18 month old daughter and wife. His daughter does not speak at all. She grunts and points. It's very clear she understands everything going on around her, she can follow directions, nod appropriately and make eye contact. Her social skills are not where my daughters' were at that age, but my niece is rarely around other children and spends most of the time at home with mom...
My mother and I are both very concerned about her. I suggested to my brother that he have her evaluated; I have a background in speech therapy and communication disorders. She's eligible for free early intervention services, so why not? It can't hurt? I thought he was sold... weeks later he and his wife have still not done anything. My mother who has worked in early intervention her whole life is freaking out. She also has politely brought it up to him and even researched whom to contact in his home state (Maine). Still...nothing.... How do we get them to get this child evaluated?? Early intervention is so important I hate to see more time go by without any help for her. My mother is concerned that she may be on the autism spectrum, I believe it's just a speech delay, either way she needs help. What can we do??? |
Anonymous
| wait till she starts pre-school, the teachers will pull them aside and break the news to them. people are more apt to take advice from strangers than from family members. |
Anonymous
| most likely she will not be allowed to go to preschool - VT |
Anonymous
| Myob |
Anonymous
| You can't do a thing, you just can't. And you don't actually know that they haven't spoken to their doctor. It could very well be that they just don't want to share that with the family buttinskis. A lot of the buzz about early intervention has to do with ASDs and there are no red flags here. She points, she makes eye contact, she understands. So you have a pure speech delay. Either she will start talking by preschool or they will get therapy. Until then, it really isn't your business and you aren't helping if you keep pushing. |
Anonymous
| Not really seeing the concern. A young toddler you rarely see wasn't chatty with strangers ...Not a big deal |
Anonymous
| OP, this post sounds a bit odd to me. Both you and your mother "have a background in" speech therapy and EI? What does that mean - are you trained therapists? If so, then you should both be offering your brother, casually if possible, some simple ideas on how to help his child communicate better. If you're not therapists or trained experts, then be very careful of diagnosing a relative whom you see only episodically. It may seem much more dramatic to you than it actually is (or the reverse of course.) One of my kids had a speech delay which a lot of casual observers thought was severe - several assessments found that it was actually very minor. And by the way, unless you have the most amazing sibling relationship in history, you aren't going to accomplish much by comparing your brother's child negatively to your own. |
Anonymous
| Your niece is lucky to have such a caring aunt who is not afraid to speak up and advocate for her. |
Anonymous
This isn't about speaking up. Everyone has already spoken up. OP wants to push, push, push until her brother does what she thinks is best. Right or wrong, OP, you are out of line. If this were my child I wouldn't want to be spending much time with you. |
Anonymous
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Here's another perspective. I have a niece who has a big-time -- BIG time -- articulation delay. She's about a good 2 years behind in reaching articulation milestones. Nobody outside the family could understand her at all for a couple of years, no joke. Even her parents cannot understand her much of the time (at age 2, 3, 4 and believe it or not, sometimes still at 5).
Still, I have kept my mouth shut. Even though my own son has had articulation delay and therapy, and I still have all the literature I could lend ... I say nothing. And boy is it hard when this girl gurgles and mumbles at age 5.5. So the point, and I do have one, is that NO other adult in her life has recommended speech therapy. Until, finally, my sister thought to call EI when she saw other kids making fun of her daughter. The little girl is crushed, and this teasing is happening a lot now (because, what was kind of cute at 2 is ridiculous at 5). My sister is really sad for my niece. It's not always a given that "preschool teachers will intervene." |
Anonymous
| You've said your piece and thats all you can do. I'm a school psychologist and when my niece was showing characteristics of autism, I had the difficult talk with my brother and he told me point blank he wasn't going to do anything. He and SIL came around on their own but not until 2 years later when niece was 4. I was there for them through the whole process - attended meetings with them etc. You don't want to burn any bridges by pushing too much now, just be supportive of them. |
Anonymous
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Here's my take. My child has speech issues. Everytime I see my mother -- who has a "background in medicine" -- she has a therapy in mind that we need to do with my daughter. She doesn't respect or even acknowledge the many therapies that my daughter is receiving and has received. Ditto my brother, who simply forgets or tunes out what is going on between visits.
My mother also treats my daughter's condition like a medical emergency. "You have to help this child speak!" As if we need to rush her to an ER. As if she isn't receiving two hours of speech therapy a week. She also doesn't respect that fact that working with augmentative communication devices and storyboards also is a form of communication, as is sign language. Nothing but actual clear articulated speech will do. Sorry, we can't produce that on demand and neither can my child. There's a balance between advocating for a special needs child and loving a child who isn't perfect. I think you need to BACK OFF. You have, indeed, said your piece and advocated well for this child. And the poster who said she won't be "allowed" to start preschool is absolutely nuts. In fact, the public school system will provide a preschool placement for her. The best thing about having a special needs child -- no need to compete for preschools. |
Anonymous
| You have done all you can do. It is out of your control. I agree with PP's...you and your mother need to back off. |
Anonymous
Ditto. And learn how to spell. |
Anonymous
| 7:27, can we try to keep the snark off this board? |