The cost of moving for a better school...

[Anonymous]

We are considering a move to a better school district. After all is said and done, we would be looking at about $180K extra in terms of real estate commission, closing costs, and the higher priced home. Of that, $120 K would be subject to interest as part of the mortgage. Then we go to a public school that we don't even know that we will like, but it has an excellent reputation.
One school that we are have considered would cost $25K per year. Multiply by 8 years, we are looking at $200K, and we know that we like that school (older child there who we plan to keep there).
Regardless, we will be using public HS, and by then DC might qualify for a magnet program that has nothing to do with where we live.
Is it worth it?
Please share your experiences or opinions.

[Anonymous]

I haven't done this but I don't know if I would feel comfortable playing the money for one child to go to private and another not. I would worry that the kids would bring this up someday and saying "well we moved to a better school district" I don't know if that would sell well.

[Anonymous]

We are trying to make the same decision. I look at the $25k cost of privite school as the bas price, though, and after we add summer camps, after care, teachers gifts, etc. Educating one child works to $36k/year. And we have two more.

We could get a much nicer house outside of DC in a fantastic school district for all 3 kids for that additional cost of $3k after/tax per month!

Yet, we still haven't moved out of laziness and wishful thinking for an improved middle school.

[Anonymous]

Agree it is unacceptable to treat two children unequally in that way. If you made a decision based on the nature of the children that they were individually right for those children that is one thing, but if you would have sent older child to public had you lived in the better school district I think that is a problem in terms of equal treatment.

Any consideration to moving both to public when you move?

Also, is there a nicer house for the price differential or is that the price of an equivalent house to what you now have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree it is unacceptable to treat two children unequally in that way. If you made a decision based on the nature of the children that they were individually right for those children that is one thing, but if you would have sent older child to public had you lived in the better school district I think that is a problem in terms of equal treatment.

Any consideration to moving both to public when you move?

Also, is there a nicer house for the price differential or is that the price of an equivalent house to what you now have?

OP here.
It is not difficult to justify two different schools since they are two different individuals.
But that is not my question. I am trying to see who else has found themselves in this type of situation and whether or not they felt it to be justified spending so much just to get into another school district.

[Anonymous]

We've decided to pay for private rather than moving - with only one kid we can swing the tuition (barely, but we can) and still save for retirement and stay out of debt, and so we'll try it and see. Moving is back up plan if we can't handle the tuition long term.

We know we like our house, town, church, friends, etc. in the current set up, and we know we are pretty confident we'll like the school we're sending DC to. If we move, we'd have two uncertainties - the new home and the new school. We'll see how it goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are trying to make the same decision. I look at the $25k cost of privite school as the bas price, though, and after we add summer camps, after care, teachers gifts, etc. Educating one child works to $36k/year. And we have two more.

We could get a much nicer house outside of DC in a fantastic school district for all 3 kids for that additional cost of $3k after/tax per month!

Yet, we still haven't moved out of laziness and wishful thinking for an improved middle school.

wouldn't you have to pay those costs regardless of where your kids went to school? Although, i guess there are donation costs associated with private that are not present in the publics. But I went to public schools, and my parents still had to pay for summer camps, after care, etc.

[Anonymous]

It is not a fair dollar for dollar comparison. You are going to be paying interest and a marginal amount of principal on $120K, not paying $120,000 cash, in the next 8 years and that interest is tax deductable. Also, you house may appreciate more if it is in a better school district. I would consider the cost of moving significantly lower, absent other costs like a a longer commute and differences in the nature of the community (is it walkable to shops and restaurants, are there lots of young families).

[Anonymous]

Amazed at OPs dissmissive comment about her kids..oh the are two individuals..so one deserves the cushy education? Unless you are talking a special needs instance where actually public may be better..you need to reevaluate your thinking. I was in a family where I wasn't "picked" to go to private and it still bothers me. My mom said that well "your brother really was interested in school" hmmm how do you decide that when I was just six?? I was a good student FYI

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Amazed at OPs dissmissive comment about her kids..oh the are two individuals..so one deserves the cushy education? Unless you are talking a special needs instance where actually public may be better..you need to reevaluate your thinking. I was in a family where I wasn't "picked" to go to private and it still bothers me. My mom said that well "your brother really was interested in school" hmmm how do you decide that when I was just six?? I was a good student FYI

Opposite point of view here -- my younger sister went to private school for a few years, while I did not. At the time it bothered me a little -- and when we talked about it, my mom said that I could think about private school for high school (although there were no guarantees). Two years later, when high school rolled around, I wasn't interested in applying to private school. It bothered me for maybe 6 months, and then I got over it.

Looking back, I think private school was the right choice for my sister, but not for me. It's a good thing that my parents made that distinction.

And, it's OP's family. She knows her kids, we do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amazed at OPs dissmissive comment about her kids..oh the are two individuals..so one deserves the cushy education? Unless you are talking a special needs instance where actually public may be better..you need to reevaluate your thinking. I was in a family where I wasn't "picked" to go to private and it still bothers me. My mom said that well "your brother really was interested in school" hmmm how do you decide that when I was just six?? I was a good student FYI

Opposite point of view here -- my younger sister went to private school for a few years, while I did not. At the time it bothered me a little -- and when we talked about it, my mom said that I could think about private school for high school (although there were no guarantees). Two years later, when high school rolled around, I wasn't interested in applying to private school. It bothered me for maybe 6 months, and then I got over it.

Looking back, I think private school was the right choice for my sister, but not for me. It's a good thing that my parents made that distinction.

And, it's OP's family. She knows her kids, we do not.

OP has not provided any difference other than timing, as in they are in an unacceptable K-8 school district now and they put their child in private, they are considering moving to an acceptable school district and putting child #2 in public BUT keeping child #1 in private and they COULD afford to keep #2 in private but are now not happy with all the $$ is costs. It may make sense that the transition from public to private would be hard on child #1 so they would continue to invest large $$ in this child's education but not in child #2 since they have now moved, we do not know. This also may bother child #2 down the road absent some real difference in temperament in the children. Hopefully for her children OP knows what she is doing.

[Anonymous]

I'm looking to buy a house for $200K more than I'll get for my current house. It will be a better commuting location and a better school pyramid, but on one not-so-large income, it will involve a LOT of sacrifice. but I'm hoping that having an additional hour/day with my daughter (shorter commute) and not worrying about the crappy schools will make it all worthwhile, instead of causing me constant sleepless nights. So you're not the only one doing this.

[Anonymous]

We went thru this analysis and process. We have our kids in a parish school k-8 which is affordable for us. Three going to any private school for HS (and perhaps earlier for at least one of the kids) was daunting for us. Financially it was a wash if we looked at just high school cost especially if you factor in the $10K kickback for public colleges (we guessed that we havd 50% probability to use this). We were looking to move to MD. VA is better because of college choices and cheaper taxes (MD was a wash on taxes) but it is too far for us.

We looked at many houses and almost made offers on 2. Many houses were ruled out because they were just too far out and would impact are current activities.

Ultimately the kids had no interest in moving (actually mostly against it) or potentially changing schools. We felt like there was too much risk in that we may end up more unhappy and regret the move.

So we decided to fix up the house ($120K budget that we would have spent to buy a new house).

I also think once the kids go to college living in DC is preferred for us and better for the kids visiting us (more accessible to activities).

I would suggest you make up an excel spreadsheet analysis of the 2 or more alternatives so you understand the costs fully and examine the tradeoffs.

[Anonymous]

I think the real question is how "undesireable" is your current public school? Is it just not one of "the best" or is it in the unacceptable category? When I say unacceptable, I mean basically not safe or actually failing (like severely below the norm for passing standardized tests). The reason I make this the standard for "not acceptable" is that a good or interested student will do fine in many schools. Just because a school doesn't have ALL super high achieving students doesn't mean the teachers aren't teaching what they should. I know (nearly) every parent wants "the best" for his/her child, but sometimes I think we forget that the inner qualities of the child (persistence, effort, interest, social skill) are much more important to success than having access to advanced calculus.

Now, if there is a substantial issue with safety (not just rumors of possible gangs), then I would not hesitate to move to another school.

Are YOU (and spouse) happy with your current neighborhood? If you find there are people with your values and interest in discipline/academics in your general neighborhood, then your children will probably gravitate toward the same types of kids and will be fine at a school that perfectly fine even if it isn't one of the sought after names.

[Anonymous]

Typo... I meant to say "... and will be fine at a school even if it isn't one of the sought after names."