preschool/K IEP coming soon, how to prepare? (Asperger Syndrome)

[Anonymous]

Hi all-
I am in FCPS. After going through Child Find for the second year in a row, my 5 year old ds was found eligible under Developmental Delay/Social Emotional just before Spring Break. The private LSCW we have been working with since December indicated Asperger's as her "diagnosis" on the report she gave me to submit with my eligibility file. The FCPS psychologist who observed him in school, did all the cognitive testing (all average/above average) and reviewed the social information from myself and his preschooler also mentioned the possibility of Asperger's on her 14 page report. He scored well below average for all measures of Social-Emotional functioning. In particular the FCPS report indicated the following problem issues:
-asserting himself in a socially acceptable manner
-recovering from stress in a reasonable amount of time
-recognizing and responding to other's feelings
-using adults appropriately to resolve peer conflicts
-discriminating between socially acceptable, and unacceptable behavior
-some issues with adult interactions, more pronounced with peer
-following adult directions without resistance
-following the rules given by adults (likes to make his own rules, but is not agressive in the least)
-waiting his turn for adult attention
-rigid play with peers, things have to go "his way"
-does not understand how his actions, and lack of flexibility affect his social relationships with peers
-lack of eye contact
-difficulty with transitions or changes in schedule
-fixated on certain subjects

I do not know what to expect, or what I need to know going into the meeting. They indicated we would get a # of weeks in before preschool is out, and then will also be set for public K. The IEP will be held at the ES he will attend.

I felt they did a great job capturing my son. I agree with their report. The eligiblility was fast, there was no question he was eligible for special ed. services. (though I will admit it brought a little tear to my eye seeing that in writing). I am relieved he will get the help he needs.

Advice?
Thanks!
Overwhelmed mommy

[Anonymous]

To overwhelmed Mommy from BTDT Mommy,

First of all, remember that nothing is written in stone and you can get a review anytime you need one by simply asking. And, each year, there is an annual review. So, if something is missing, you don't have to wait a year to fix it. Also, as the years go by, you get better and better at figuring out what your child needs and you'll know the people involved so it won't be so overwhelming as this first meeting. You'll get really good at knowing what to ask for- so don't be hard on yourself this year if things don't turn out as well as you hope. And, nothing is made or broken in kindergarten. Finally, I have found that everyone really does want your child to be successful and will give you what they can within the constraints within which they operate. So, I go in expecting everyone will want to contribute to the success of my son - and I'm not usually disappointed. That doesn't mean I get everything I want - just that I get everything my child is entitled to. My son has some issues that don't impact his ability to learn and therefore I have to get the services for that privately and I have no right to expect the school to offer those services.

You have already done a good job in preparing by making your list of concerns/issues/problems. That is always the first thing I do. Then, I try to figure out what I want to accomplish. As I said, it's easier as the years go by because we know what works and what doesn't so we can focus on interventions and goals. I spend a lot of time in the week or two before the IEP meeting talking to my friends about my concerns and what interventions I am hoping to get. I find it really helpful to practice in an unstressful situation so that when I'm actually in the IEP meeting I am articulate and effective in communicating. Finally, I always try to come up with a go to phrase for when I feel like crying or need to regroup. One of my go to phrases is "well, ok, now that we've identified the problem, what are we going to do to make my son successful this year in school." Or, I will say something like, "As I see it, I can offer (fill in the blank) to work on this problem. What will you do?" I always assume that the school will do their part and that I have an obligation to do mine as well and I communicate that in my go do phrase.

I don't have ideas for you for specific goals and I don't know what the FCPS offers. But, I just wanted to offer my thoughts on preparing for the meeting so that it's not such an intimidating experience. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

PP, thanks so much for the reply. So far, the experience with FCPS has been entirely positive (after not even making it past local screening last year). I feel they did a pretty comprehensive review, I was very impressed with the report they completed. As ds currently has no cognitive issues (as far as one can tell for a 5 year old), I am just thrilled FCPS is recognizing prior to beginning K that he is going to need some help to be ok in public K. This year, in preschool, we have been very lucky to have VERY patient teachers, who have really been wonderful to ds. I guess right now, the fear of the unknown, not knowing what types of services to expect for social/emotional issues, so therefore not knowing what to ask for, I just want to know what the "norm" is for Asperger's. I imagine some social skills practice, but really, I cannot imagine that with his incessant interruption to share his ideas with the adult (or children) and very rigid ideas of what he "wants to do" he will be ok without more intervention. You are right though, it is not set in stone, and this is K...so just the start. And as of now, he is really, really excited to go to Kindergarten...in fact, so excited, that he now asks every day "is this my last day of preschool", even though he has always loved it....sigh....

Just panicking a bit about leaving a very nurturing play-based preschool.....

I will go into the IEP with a list of concerns, that are all very clearly outlined on the FCPS report, so not just my concerns.
That is great advice.

Anyone's thoughts on what services I can expect ds to receive, or should be looking for in the IEP?

Thanks again