Clutter and Kids

[Anonymous]

I'll be the first to admit that neither dear hubby or I are very good at home organizing. We keep things clean from a dirt but can not stay on top of the clutter. If I have to clean off the kitchen island one more time..fills up with mail, tools, toys, in addition to kitchen stuff....

DH is much worse..he simply can not put something fully away. He will get out his tools to replace a battery..needs a screwdriver. He will walk across the room to throw away the old battery but the screw driver will now live on the kitchen island until I find a place to put it. He'll take the towels out the dryer and leave a pile on the bed. He contributes alot to the problem but doesn't feel any sense of responsibility to deal with the other clutter mail, kids stuff that belongs to both of us.

Our kids (1 and 3) are active contributors by dragging their toys everywhere. Its hard to get anything done while they are awake.

I just don't have time to deal with all this. I stay up late on weekends sorting through things to go to Good Will and fill up the trash every weekend with junk.

This is a skills issue not just a workload problem. Are there home organizing services out there where someone can come in, go through the stuff, find a place to put what we actually need and live an instruction manual on how to keep it that way?

Are there any clutter people out there who mended their ways? If so how did you do it? Any advice?

I do not want to raise sloppy kids. I also don't want to be the house that parents don't feel comfortable letting their kids come to playdates do to the clutter. I'm looking for a perfectly decorated oasis, just a house where the box of diapers is not sitting in the foyer, every furniture surface has a pile of something on it, you go searching for the laundry, etc.

[Anonymous]

I'm by no means perfect, but I've found that spending 10-15 minutes at the end of each day putting things away really helps keep the clutter down. if something is sitting there and is not being used, then it needs to find a new home. also with the mail, junk mail automatically goes in the recycle bin - things that need to be shredded are automatically shredded, and everything else goes in the office into a "to do" folder. if you leave the mail on the kitchen counter, it will stay there and just pile up.

[Anonymous]

Former clutter bug here!

1. I do not buy my kids toys unless it is for something special. Probably 90% of the kids toys came as gifts from family. Therefore we have very few toys. I also rotate every 2 weeks. Since there are very few toys around messes are easy to clean. In the family room is a large basket and the only toys allowed in the family room are ones that can fit in the basket.
2. Mail either goes in the trash or into an "action" folder. Action folder if sorted on Sunday nights.
3. I simply do not buy things I don not need.
4. I am constantly on top of my kids singing the clean up song frequently through out the day. I make them put their dishes in the sink and their laundry int he hamper. My son just turned 2, so this normally means me physically guiding him to do this. I also have them wipe the table after eating (I of course have to come after to really get it clean).
5. I engage them in all cleaning activities. Its always a group event. I don't want them to get used to mom as a housekeeper. Everyone keeps house.
6. After the kids are asleeep, I set the timer each night for 10min and DH & I run around the house and clean as much as possible, as quickly as possible for that 10min. You would be amazed at how much gets accomplished when you are focused. After the timer beeps, its a hard stop and we enjoy our night together.
7. I have a housekeeper 2xs a month to do the deep clean.
8. We fold and hang laundry in front of the TV. We also do a load every other day.
9. It is a CONSTANT effort of freecycle, throwing away, and craigslist. I have to my house is small and I cannot affort to have stuff that is not unecessary. I also feel like a cluttered house = a cluttered mind. You cannot declutter and then stop, you have to constantly be on top of it or it will grow like mold.

[Anonymous]

You might like this website: www.flylady.net
I used this system during a several-month period between jobs, and got my house more orderly and some of the clutter out. A bit more challenging now while working full-time, but sometimes I get highly motivated and turn into a "white tornado". The thing that works the best for us is actually inviting someone over. Then DH and the kids and I split up what needs to be done and attack it.

[Anonymous]

I have a horrible problem with this, but it's not all me. It's DH, the nanny, babysitters, the kids, even the cleaning lady! They all take something from one room to the next then leave it on a counter or table where it doesn't belong. I have tried EVERYTHING but nothing works to convince them that we have to put things away as we go.

Our nanny cleans up, but that just means everything is removed from the floor and put somewhere - often not in the right place.
I would rather have it on the floor. The kids are really better about it than the adults.

[Anonymous]

I'm the clutterbug in our house, with DH better. When I analyze myself, I find that the problem is a reluctance to throw things away -- from DS's cute drawings to slightly broken items I have some nostalgia for. My best advice is to marry someone with less tolerance for clutter than you and who will remind you (as my husband does to me) that things are just things and don't matter Best of luck if you can train yourself to do this; I'm still working on it. Oh, and buying a new filing cabinet helped as did allowing myself a junk place (a basket on the island) to stick small things like paper clips and pens and stamps and such so that I'd have them but they'd be contained.

[Anonymous]

I posted a similar Q a couple months ago and many of the responses were helpful (if not humorous):

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/12790.page#73712

[Anonymous]

Wow - how many of you are living in MY house? I feel like this all the time!

My husband cannot bear to throw things away, and cannot seem to get them into their designated spot. And I know it's handed down in my husband's family as his mother is a hoarder (seriously mentally ill). So I am worried about it with my kids too...

LOVE Flylady! The advice is great. Also, totally agree with PP about not buying toys except for special occasions. I Freecycle and Goodwill religiously - at least 1 time a month we pick a room and clean it out.

In addition, because the clutter makes me crazy and I can only stand telling someone to pick something up and put it away a certain number of times, I have resorted to throwing away items that are not picked up (if it is something really expensive that I don't want to actually get rid of, like my husband's drill, I dump it on his pillow and leave it there with a note that the next time I find it in X place, I WILL throw it away). I know that is a little over the top, but it is the only thing that really seems to get his attention. I figure it still has to be cheaper than therapy.

Good luck to all of us out there with this challenge!

[Anonymous]

I am a clean clutter free freak, then I had kids. I now live with dirt and clutter, but I have a limit. I have one simple rule when it comes to clutter. My kids can not pull out a toy until the no other toy is out. We don't just pull out all of the toys. why, they can only play with one at a time. works for us, my kids know the deal and it is less chacos.