Can't decide what to do re: waitlist and June 1 deadline

[Anonymous]

We have accepted a pre-K spot (at a pre-k through 8th grade schoo1) for my 3 year old DS. However, because our "long term" school is not this school (we just moved, and moved our two older children to a k-12 near our new house, but it does not offer pre-k), we would prefer to send our youngest to a small neighborhood pre-k that costs significantly less (4k instead of 18k), since we assume he will join his siblings at the new school for K. (it's not a Big 3 or anything, so safe to assume he will get in as a sib, I would think.)
But we are on the waiting list at the neighborhood pre-k. We are number 5. It's not a school where they meet the kids or do playdates -- just a lottery placement on the waiting list. They said not to expect much movement any time soon, but a good bit of movement over the summer as some 3 year olds won't be potty-trained in time or what not. The problem is, if I don't withdraw from the other pre-k by june 1, I am on the hook for the full tuition. Even the tuition insurance would not cover it because you have to attend for a certain number of consecutive days to utilize the insurance.
Given that the savings is large, we are debating whether we should just risk it, withdraw by June 1, forfeiting our initial deposit, and keep our fingers crossed all summer. If he did not get into the neighborhood pre-k by then, our only alternative would be a daycare-type church-based facility for two mornings a week. I guess this is ok since he is three, but I feel guilty because my two older ones did go to pre-k at the more "prestigious" prek-8th grade school.
Advice?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you even applied to the K-8 pre-K since it is more than you want to pay and you have no plans to keep him there for more than a year. Withdraw from that spot. Either you will get into the neighborhood school or you find another preK spot somewhere at a daycare or a preschool. I don't think it's that difficult to find a place for a 3/4 yo if you are open to any # of days. You can always expand your search area. The hassle of driving a little further might still be better than paying the extra.

[Anonymous]

The only reason I'm paying that $18K ,for what sounds like the exact same PK, instead of keeping him where he is another year for almost 1/2 the cost is because I'm investing in the school until 8 (or at least 6th) and I'm worried he might not get in later so I'll jump on board now.

I definitely wouldn't spend that kind of money if you aren't even planning on having him stay there. But I definitely would get a better back up plan than "keep our fingers crossed"

[Anonymous]

2ams a week at church based is fine back up for 3 when you know what cones next. Save your $$

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you even applied to the K-8 pre-K since it is more than you want to pay and you have no plans to keep him there for more than a year. Withdraw from that spot. Either you will get into the neighborhood school or you find another preK spot somewhere at a daycare or a preschool. I don't think it's that difficult to find a place for a 3/4 yo if you are open to any # of days. You can always expand your search area. The hassle of driving a little further might still be better than paying the extra.

At the time I applied I didn't know if the older children would get in to the new school -- if they had not gotten in, I would have stayed at this school (despite the commute from our new home) and all three would be there.
But yes, I clearly should have applied to more places for the 3 year old. I was thinking these two were enough, because I hadn't really thought about how the pre-k through 8 place is kind of a waste of money if you are not planning to stay.
Looking back, I am not sure why I didn't apply to more neighborhood preschools. I was so consumed with the older two getting in to their school.
kinda sucks being the third kid I guess.

[Anonymous]

a) the folks at your "old" school who read this board surely know who you are from the details provided in this thread.

b) anyone who says simply "withdraw from that spot" has a high probability of being an educational consultant trying to move someone up the WL, or, a little less likely, a private person doing the same.

c) if your older children went and are known/respected at the old school, and you feel they rec'd something meaningfully better than "2 days a week in a church basement", 9 months of an awkward commute doesn't seem so bad.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, but, re: your first point, we live in the 'burbs. (Obviously not the burbs with the good public schools though!) The schools I am talking about are rarely mentioned on this board. Although I have a weird DCUM addiction, I don't think my neighbors do! So I highly doubt I have been recognized.
But your last point is weighing heavily on me......just feeling kind of stretched right now with the two older kids' tuitions, but I know that should not be the only factor.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably be fine with church basement, but if you aren't I'd wait and see how the numbers look around June 1. If he's moved from 5 to 2 I'd say go for it. If he's moved from 5 to 5 I might hesitate.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Famlies being what they are, youngest will already be receiving, indirectly, some of whatever the good was that the older children received by going to the strong program. so if the additional tuition is too stressful, there's a rationale to help you if you go with a low cost option.

[Anonymous]

OP, your explanation makes sense. I didn't realize your older children weren't already at the new school. Having moved a few times, gotten my kids into schools at awkward times in the year, had to do a mid-year switch for a kid, I reiterate that there are almost always more options that you think . Call around to other nursery schools if you don't like this church basement one. You have too extreme options but there are almost certainly others (esp. if your kid will be four next year). Get on waitlists, expand your geographic criteria, call up schools and tell about how you just moved and don't know what to do, etc.

Anonymous wrote:
b) anyone who says simply "withdraw from that spot" has a high probability of being an educational consultant trying to move someone up the WL, or, a little less likely, a private person doing the same.

I'm 21:27. Hmm, no. I promise you, the phrase is not exactly inside baseball if you've been through school admissions a bunch of times and read boards like these. I'm not in the DC area (it isn't clear to me if OP is either) and my kids are all situated, though, if that makes everyone feel better. I advocate withdrawing from the spot because it's clear OP doesn't really want to spend the money (nor do I think she should) and the school would rather, I'm sure, have a family who plan to continue past preK. It's time to make a decision and move on.

[Anonymous]

Seems the school that has offered you the pre-k spot does know you've moved and that your older two children are no longer attending. So I wouldn't worry about trying to guess what the school would prefer - they offered the spot, have their deadlines.

And I'm actually a dog. Point being, on this board, there is simply no way to tell who is writing facts or fiction. So yes, it's fun, sometimes helpful, but there are both trolls and folks with very self serving agendas.

[Anonymous]

3 can be a big year, OP. I'm going to be the outlier to recommends forking it out for the pre-K you're into. My dd is three, just turned four, and thanks to her awesome preschool she can write her own name and is very close to reading. Don't think it would have happened without this school or in a place we just considered holding. I think you'lll regret it, especially if you don't get off the wait list and end up in the church basement.

[Anonymous]

Well, my child learned those same things in an inexpensive church-basement type school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, my child learned those same things in an inexpensive church-basement type school.

yes, you can send you child to a very good preschool that is not $18,000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 can be a big year, OP. I'm going to be the outlier to recommends forking it out for the pre-K you're into. My dd is three, just turned four, and thanks to her awesome preschool she can write her own name and is very close to reading. Don't think it would have happened without this school or in a place we just considered holding. I think you'lll regret it, especially if you don't get off the wait list and end up in the church basement.

Hate to burst your bubble, but your 3 year old is at the same level as most 3 year olds. Writing her name and pre-reading is standard at most preschools, charters, and good public schools. I have my daughter in private preschool as well, and I have friends and neighbors that do not. They are all pretty much on the same level. We toured the Big 3 schools, and the curricium was no more rigorous than my current private which is about $15000 less. There are many reasons to choose private, but the academics may not be stronger than good publics and charters. My 3 year old is doing addition, but that has a lot to do with working with her at home. We will be applying at WIS for K next year because of the language immersion.