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Weird Neighbor Question
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Anonymous
| If you had a neighbor that notices way too much that has nothing to do with her in the neighborhood, would you confront her? Some unbelievable but true examples: what the other neighbors are wearing in their own house, when other neighbors come and go, when other neighbors raise or close their blinds, more. FWIW, the neighbor that notices everything does not live next to the neighbors she notices, it is often a house diagonal/across the street and sometimes down the street. These are not townhomes or even condos, but SFH with good sized yards, so the neighbors are a significant distance away, and clearly have to put forth significant effort to notice and then divulge what they do. It just strikes me as a bit disturbing. When there were break-ins in the neighborhood, this neighbor has not seen a thing. Also, she is not elderly, but has her own family. A few of us have actually been told by her what she has noticed, and we are a bit uncomfortable in our own homes as a result. Should we speak up? |
Anonymous
| Ignore her, stay polite bud distant, and keep your shades down. If she starts to seem nuts, tell the family. |
Anonymous
|
How does she mention these things in conversation????
There is a house a block away from us that has a telescope in their sun room trained at the house across the street from me. I always wondered about that.... |
Anonymous
| Just say a half joking sarcastic comment about it to her. Enough to be joking yet enough for her to know that you're on her game. Might be enough to freak her out a little. |
Anonymous
| Meh, every suburban neighborhood has a Mrs. Kravitz. Keep your shades down and if you catch her looking, wave! |
Anonymous
| Haha PP, so true! We had one of these women on my block. They are just bored and nosey. |
Anonymous
| When there's a rash of break-ins and this neighbor is the only one who can identify what suspicous people were lurking around, you will thank her. Until then, just ignore her. I can promise you that getting into some kind of confrontation is not going to have the result you're looking for, and it's not your job to speak for the whole neighborhood. |
Anonymous
| Every neighborhood has one. Try to enjoy her. Maybe play some fun tricks on her - dress up in crazy costumes (think vampire) and do really crazy stuff in front of the windows. Then when she asks you about it, act like SHE is the crazy one. |
Anonymous
It may just be stored that way when not in use, rather than cranked backwards. (Or not, I'm just suggesting the benefit of the doubt reason.) We have binoculars on hand for looking at birds (we get a lot of woodpeckers, hawks, and migrating warblers through our neighborhood) and I always run out to the porch or window with them and then after the bird is gone hope that none of the neighbors thought I was looking at them! |
Anonymous
|
OP here. My normal neighbors and I really appreciate your support and suggestions. She has young children of her own, so it surprising to us that she has any time to notice all of the things she says she does (as mentioned, she tells us herself).
Unfortunately, as I also mentioned, she has *not* noticed when there has been break ins in the neighborhood, which has been disappointing to all of us, as we hoped she would put her noticing skills to use! I would be very surprised if there were any birds worth watching here (maybe pigeons and a few robins), but not so surprised if she had binoculars and/or a telescope. We just think this amount of unreasonable, anti-productive nosiness is a little crazy for a barely middle aged mother of young children? Wouldn't she have other things to do? |
Anonymous
Why she does this doesn't really matter and you likely won't be able to figure it out. What does matter is your reaction. Find a way to let her know, when she tells you these things, that you think it's weird and/or boring and you're not interested. If that doesn't work then be direct. Could the awkward feelings you might have while being direct be any worse than how her actions are making you feel now? |
Anonymous
| I went through this with a very nosey neighbor. Unfortunately, she caught me on a bad day and I let her have it. I told her to stop being nosey and mind her own business. She stopped talking to me and completely avoided us. After that, life was sweet. |
Anonymous
|
You could tell her off. I don't personally see what that does.
The next time she says these things, you might try a "feeling statement" -- like "Delores, are you alright? I'm worried about you. You seem very caught up in other people's comings and goings and I'm not sure that's good for you. Is everything okay?" Maybe she's depressed. |
Anonymous
|
OP,
You've mentioned the break-ins in both posts. What's with that? She's an odd duck, for sure, but would you be so worked up if there hadn't been break-ins? |
Anonymous
21:33 appeared to have not read the OP, so it seemed okay to re-state it. Also odd that the OP's neighbor (we're assuming neighbor isn't making stuff up, which is probably worse than being Mrs. Kravitz) isn't seeing the breakins. Any teenage kids for this neighbor? |