How/when did you break the baby news at work?

Anonymous
I will be 20 week pg next week and I still have not told my boss or anyone at work. Because of my build, I am probably able to hide it longer than the average but I don't want to go over the limits.

I am planning to tell my boss at the end of March, but given that I don't work in a very pregnancy-saturated environment--in fact I am probably the first woman in the group in about 15 years who has been pregnant--so I am not sure how to break it down to the rest of the group. I am not the Babydzilla type and do not want any presents or special attention, but at the same time, I can go overboard with my low profile style.

I was thinking buying 2 dozen bagels and coffee and sending an email to everyone...Would that be weird? I am pretty nervous about some of the anticipated attitudes but I don't want to be paranoid.

Any suggestions? Thoughts?
Anonymous
You are overthinking this. Just tell people. Start with your boss and then tell everyone else individually or mention it at a meeting when people are gathered together.
sybersus
Member Offline
I told my boss first so he would hear it from me. I've then let individuals know, and I figure the ones that I don't work with directly or whom I don't know very well can figure it out as I get bigger. I'll bet you more people have guessed than you think (that was the case with me -- my boss suspected even though I've gained relatively little weight and am not showing much at all).
Anonymous
Ditto the PP. Tell your boss in person, then any others that you feel like. The news will travel fast and you might have to tell fewer people that you expect. I'd skip the bagels.
Anonymous
OP here.

I guess what bothers me is the whole "news traveling fast" I'd rather tell people en mass directly, so there will not be any "oh, did you hear that..."

I need to get over it though! I get that.

And yeah, the bagels will make this too warm and fuzzy. And no need.

Thanks.
Anonymous
Skip the bagels. Tell soon - after 20 weeks it starts to seem weird when people don't tell. Definitely tell your boss first, then others you feel comfortable with. They'll process it quickly, it won't be as big a deal as you think. Congrats!
Anonymous
16:01 again - sorry, you asked when people told. I told my boss and her boss at 13 wks, after first tri and good NT results. I then told co-workers I consider friends and let it spread otherwise. Up until about 20 wks I had people asking me or just seeming to find out, and I was showing early. I'm so glad I told at 13 wks because about 2 days after I told I got in a car accident that resulted in an emergency sonogram and I called my boss in a panic.

The other day she asked if my due date was in 2 weeks - it's in 4 and she's known that for months. People have so much going on, they really don't think about it that much.
Anonymous
I had my first while working in a very male dominated industry and an office that had never had a pregnant professional woman. I'd give your boss the news first; s/he may have a preference on how to spread the word among colleagues (mine announced at a staff meeting that we would be getting a new employee in x months... he managed that disclosure and every other conversation with me thruout the pregnancy without ever saying the words 'baby' or 'pregnant' or anything other than some odd euphamism for a child.) Definitely skip the bagels - way too cutsey. BTW my office actually horribly excited about planning a baby shower (which I didn't want, mainly for fear of jinxing my pregnancy and because I just hate that kid of thing.) It was excruciating but very well-intended.
Anonymous
It seems like the trend here is to wait as long as possible to tell, but I disagree with that approach. I told my boss at 13 weeks last time (after NT screen and successful first trimester). In my case, they needed to find someone to fill in for me while I was on leave so my boss and HR needed time to process the news, figure out maternity leave, identify someone to take over my projects, and then lots of time for me to train them. Also, by that time, travel engagements were coming up and I needed a way around some of them. 20 weeks seems awfully late to tell. Speak to your bosses first, and then if you'd prefer to do a mass e-mail that's fine.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I will be 20 week pg next week and I still have not told my boss or anyone at work. Because of my build, I am probably able to hide it longer than the average but I don't want to go over the limits.

I am planning to tell my boss at the end of March, but given that I don't work in a very pregnancy-saturated environment--in fact I am probably the first woman in the group in about 15 years who has been pregnant--so I am not sure how to break it down to the rest of the group. I am not the Babydzilla type and do not want any presents or special attention, but at the same time, I can go overboard with my low profile style.

I was thinking buying 2 dozen bagels and coffee and sending an email to everyone...Would that be weird? I am pretty nervous about some of the anticipated attitudes but I don't want to be paranoid.

Any suggestions? Thoughts?



That is really weird.
And you talk about wanting no attention and keeping a low profile???? Yet you are bringing out the trumpets and bagels for your big announcement? If your office is "unfamiliar" with pregnant women you may find that many people won't be feeling the same excitement that you are.

Tell the boss and upper mgmt first. And HR needs to know too (especially if you have questions about FMLA, STD, maternity leave, quitting, etc.). Then talk/email others - depending on how much interaction do you have with coworkers.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It seems like the trend here is to wait as long as possible to tell, but I disagree with that approach. I told my boss at 13 weeks last time (after NT screen and successful first trimester). In my case, they needed to find someone to fill in for me while I was on leave so my boss and HR needed time to process the news, figure out maternity leave, identify someone to take over my projects, and then lots of time for me to train them. Also, by that time, travel engagements were coming up and I needed a way around some of them. 20 weeks seems awfully late to tell. Speak to your bosses first, and then if you'd prefer to do a mass e-mail that's fine.


Perhaps you are CEO at a big corporation. I am not although I am a professional woman in an advisory type of field, and I happened to disagree. It is not one size fits all. it depends on the type of work you do, your seniority, and how much maternity leave you are planning to take. My two biggest projects have an approaching deadlines around the end of April and June; the other ones are due end of march and april. So, there is nothing so far that goes near my due date.

Also, I am not planning a five month paid leave. We DON'T get any maternity leave, so the time I will be using is vacation, sick leave, and unpaid leave. Also, I plan to be out about a 1.5-2 months, followed by a day off/flex schedule for a while after. Given that August is a super slow month, I am not sure that my organization's survival will be halted by my absence nor will it create any major crisis...


OP

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It seems like the trend here is to wait as long as possible to tell, but I disagree with that approach. I told my boss at 13 weeks last time (after NT screen and successful first trimester). In my case, they needed to find someone to fill in for me while I was on leave so my boss and HR needed time to process the news, figure out maternity leave, identify someone to take over my projects, and then lots of time for me to train them. Also, by that time, travel engagements were coming up and I needed a way around some of them. 20 weeks seems awfully late to tell. Speak to your bosses first, and then if you'd prefer to do a mass e-mail that's fine.


Perhaps you are CEO at a big corporation. I am not although I am a professional woman in an advisory type of field, and I happened to disagree. It is not one size fits all. it depends on the type of work you do, your seniority, and how much maternity leave you are planning to take. My two biggest projects have an approaching deadlines around the end of April and June; the other ones are due end of march and april. So, there is nothing so far that goes near my due date.

Also, I am not planning a five month paid leave. We DON'T get any maternity leave, so the time I will be using is vacation, sick leave, and unpaid leave. Also, I plan to be out about a 1.5-2 months, followed by a day off/flex schedule for a while after. Given that August is a super slow month, I am not sure that my organization's survival will be halted by my absence nor will it create any major crisis...


OP



Of course it's not OP, but you asked a very open-ended question without a lot of detail about your work environment so naturally there will be a lot of various opinions which are based on people's own experience.

Just sayin' b/c your response came across as snippy when the poster was only trying to be helpful and giving advice (which you asked for).

(not the above poster, but a PP who just saw OP's response).
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It seems like the trend here is to wait as long as possible to tell, but I disagree with that approach. I told my boss at 13 weeks last time (after NT screen and successful first trimester). In my case, they needed to find someone to fill in for me while I was on leave so my boss and HR needed time to process the news, figure out maternity leave, identify someone to take over my projects, and then lots of time for me to train them. Also, by that time, travel engagements were coming up and I needed a way around some of them. 20 weeks seems awfully late to tell. Speak to your bosses first, and then if you'd prefer to do a mass e-mail that's fine.


Perhaps you are CEO at a big corporation. I am not although I am a professional woman in an advisory type of field, and I happened to disagree. It is not one size fits all. it depends on the type of work you do, your seniority, and how much maternity leave you are planning to take. My two biggest projects have an approaching deadlines around the end of April and June; the other ones are due end of march and april. So, there is nothing so far that goes near my due date.

Also, I am not planning a five month paid leave. We DON'T get any maternity leave, so the time I will be using is vacation, sick leave, and unpaid leave. Also, I plan to be out about a 1.5-2 months, followed by a day off/flex schedule for a while after. Given that August is a super slow month, I am not sure that my organization's survival will be halted by my absence nor will it create any major crisis...


OP



Of course it's not OP, but you asked a very open-ended question without a lot of detail about your work environment so naturally there will be a lot of various opinions which are based on people's own experience.

Just sayin' b/c your response came across as snippy when the poster was only trying to be helpful and giving advice (which you asked for).

(not the above poster, but a PP who just saw OP's response).


It is a matter of opinion. I thought PP @ 16:15 was snippy, you thought I was snippy--so what. I was just responding in a way that I consider fitting. Not a big deal.
Anonymous
16:15 here, and I in no way intended to come across as snippy. Just respond to how/when and the question of whether a group e-mail was acceptable. Every company culture is different. I'm sorry if I offended you OP.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:16:15 here, and I in no way intended to come across as snippy. Just respond to how/when and the question of whether a group e-mail was acceptable. Every company culture is different. I'm sorry if I offended you OP.


No prob at all

I am still trying to find a better way of dealing with FTM-insecurities/uncertainties ... I will eventually get it right and then it will be time to give birth.

OP
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