Does anyone let their kids watch as much TV as they want?

[Anonymous]

My 4 year old daughter has developed a taste for TV. So far, my approach has been to let her watch as pretty much as much she wants to during times when we are hanging around the house with nothing in particular to do. Sometimes when she asks to watch I will suggest some alternative activities, but if she says that she would rather watch TV, then I usually let her. We've been doing this for about a year, and the amount she watches has been steadily increasing. (Before a year ago, for various reasons, she watched essentially none.)

If anyone else has tried this approach, did your kids settle into TV viewing habits that you were comfortable with, or did you eventually have to step in and set limits?

BTW, I do monitor carefully what she watches. My question is only about letting kids decide for themselves how much to watch.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I let my daughter watch how much she wants. We used to have set TV times, like one show before nap time. I think it had more of a draw when it was limited. If I feel like she is watching too much then I redirect with a trip to the park or an art project. We have a Tivo, so I can set the shows that she likes and that I find acceptable. She has no problem doing something else, since she can pause it and go back to it later or the next day.

[Anonymous]

How much does all this TV watching add up to? If it's more than one hour or so a day - I think that's too much and you should set limits. I think my 3-year old DD would watch TV for hours if I let her. We do our best to limit it to no more than 1 hour a day - usually in the morning. She's in daycare, so thankfully, I don't have to police it all day!

[zumbamama]

mine watch for maybe an hour each day, maybe more on the weekends...I let them watch a movie on Friday/Sat. nights in the living room and they fall asleep. In the day they usually get distracted before the program is over. But I have to say that I don't let them watch Spongebob anymore...that they were picking up bad language from that show. Usually, they would much rather play legos or go outside. During the winter, DS wanted to play video games all the time...so I started making more trips to the art store to engage him in creative projects. Thankfully the video game doesn't work anymore and I'm not going to replace it!

[Anonymous]

My daughter is only 1, but we have the TV on all day really. I need background noise and always have. My sister lets her son watch what he wants also. I don't think it's a big deal as long as they're active. I'd be concerned if my nephew were to say....refuse to go outside because he wanted to watch television. If they are doing everything else they need to do and it's a past time instead of an "activity" I don't think it's a big deal. I mostly think this because I watched more TV than anyone I know growing up and I really don't feel it affected me other than that need for background noise I still graduated college, got a good career, got married, had a baby, hold personal relationships, am close with my family, have never been overweight, eat healthy, exercise. You know your child and you know if it's negatively affecting her.

That said, you'll get a lot more of the negative in response than the positive to this post.

[Anonymous]

13:02, I'm with you. Total TV addict growing up, and turned out reasonably well. These days, I think you'd be accused of child abuse if you did such a thing.

[zumbamama]

have to admit, I let them watch alot of TV this weekend since I was too sick to play with them.

[Anonymous]

TV before the age of 2 years old is not recommended for children......why would anyone park them in front of the TV for however long they want? They are too young to regulate what is good for them. I understand if you are sick or if it is rainy, etc. but all the time?

[Anonymous]

I used to have the TV on all day too. The children were just not interested in it, and I could keep it on for background noise, which was OK, because they really weren't interested in HGTV anyway. When they got to be two and three, they really liked watching TV, and when I was alone with them for over a month, I let them watch a lot of it. I discovered, that for my own children, the more they watched, the worse their behavior was.

I turned off the TV purchased some re-bounders, and rocking horses, and tons of arts and crafts supplies. They are much happier when burning energy, and being creative. Now they don't watch TV everyday, and if I do let them watch something, they usually don't watch all the way through.

[Anonymous]

I've tried it both ways - setting a very specific limit (such as we will only watch for 15 min or will only watch this one segment and then we are turning it off) and not really setting a limit (such as saying we can watch for a little while). I've found that when I set a specific limit, my 3 yr old starts asking for more and wanting to watch one more show, etc. Whereas with the non-specific limit, she gets bored after about 10-15 minutes and starts doing something else.

And to caveat all that, I've also had days where she wanted to watch Dora all the live long day.

[zumbamama]

now music, on the other hand, I have playing all the time.

[Anonymous]

we have three kids and have never set any limits. They watch a show or two a day and that's it. When at a party with other kids and the tv is on, they are usually the ones that pay no attention to it. So it has worked for us but we have always provided them opportunities to do other things so tv has never been much of an issue.

[Anonymous]

This is a great thread and I'm enjoying the honest responses. I'm just as guilty as the rest of them in "judging" re TV watching, but really, when did TV become child abuse!! I always criticize the amount of TV my neice/nephews watch but as my 2 year old becomes 3 I'm starting to wonder if I can keep practices what I preach. It's easier now that the weather is getting nice, but I'm starting to worry that my constant withholding of TV is getting to make it more enticing... my son constantly asks for it. We don't have a TV in our living room which helps (he seems to ask for it when he sees it) but when we're in our basement, my bedroom, etc. it's constant "can I watch a show?" I always like to claim I limit to 30 minutes or an hour... but he did watch 3 episodes of Dora in a row (gotta love on demand) the other morning as I showered, dealt with contractors, and had an important telephone call. Slippery slope, it's so easy. With everything else I'm not a fan of withholding, thinking in the end it will make them addicts of whatever being withheld (ie, candy) and believe in moderation, but if I gave him the choice there would be no moderation, but 24/7 TV it seems (unless the thrill would wear off? I doubt it...) but I'm sick of battling over it. So I'm in the same boat as you, OP...

[Anonymous]

I'm with you when you keep saying the "no TV" becomes too much of an enticement, same as no candy, etc. My 3-year old DD is obsessed with Cheetos, I think b/c I keep telling her she can't have them! I watched SO much TV growing up (ask me anything about Three's Company, Happy Days, Laverne & shirley!) - especially during the summer when no one was home and we had nothing to do. I went to an Ivy League school and am a productive member of society : ) so I think it all works out!

[Anonymous]

I also watched a ton of TV as a child and I'm fine. But then, I also had no car seat as a child and am fine. I'm NOT in the "it's tantamount to neglect" group and I'm not judging anyone's choices. I'm just not that convinced by the "I turned out okay" argument.

I don't know yet what we're going to do about this, so I'm interested to hear everyone's input. Our kid is just one and for the moment unless it's a really bad day I just don't have the TV on in his presence. (My husband, on the other hand, makes an exception for sporting events. Sigh.) I'm not worried about the shows so much as the commercials, though.