If your daycare is at your workplace...

[Anonymous]

Do you visit your child during the day? How many times a week? For how long? How old is your child?

My infant daughter just started daycare in my work building. On one hand, I want to take advantage of the fact that she is so close by....but I feel this overwhelming sense of guilt whenever I decide to have lunch with friends or to run errands during lunch instead of visting to nurse her...just curious about others are doing / feeling.

[Anonymous]

Our daughter's daycare is in my husband's building, and until recently he visited her every day - usually during the time when her classroom was on their daily walk. He's stopped for now because she's just moved to a new classroom and was having a little bit of a hard time adjusting and thought they were going home every time he visited.

[Anonymous]

My 3-year-old has been in the daycare at my office for 2 years, and I stop by very rarely - maybe once or twice a month. I tried stopping by more at first, but at 1, it seemed to just upset her, so I stopped. Now I make full use of my lunch hour (exercising, lunch with friends...), as it is my only "me" time. I do stop by for all parties and such and try to make an hour or two to visit every month. Some parents stop by much more frequently, but most of those are the ones that are still breastfeeding either that child or another.

[Anonymous]

For the first few weeks (DS started at 4 mos), I visited almost every day. I didn't nurse, though - it threw off my pumping schedule plus DS was usually too distracted to nurse. (He considered daycare a dazzling wonderland of new toys and new people.) If DS was asleep I would just stare at him a bit and check in with his care givers, if he was awake we would snuggle. However, my visits were pretty quick, and they didn't stop me from going to lunch with friends!
DS moved to a daycare near home before the separation-anxiety phase started, but if he hadn't I probably would have stopped visiting around then - too disruptive.

[Anonymous]

OP, my advice is to do whatever makes sense for you personally, and don't feel guilty about your decision.

When DS was an infant, I needed to split my lunch hour and use it for pumping. So I didn't typically visit him during the day. Now that he is older, my lunch hour is the only time I have during the week for exercise, so I still don't visit DS on a daily basis.

I say: Happy mommy, happy baby. OP, instead of feeling guilty, think broadly about how using your lunch time for other things can make you a better parent in less direct ways. For example while I'd love to see my own DS more during the day, it also benefits him to have a mother who is physically healthy. Also, even though I don't take advantage of the opportunity to visit him during the day, I still love having DS on site. I'm right there if he gets sick or hurt, I am able to attend any parties or special events at day care, and I'm with DS on my Metro commute every day, talking, reading, and playing with him.

[Anonymous]

In the infant room, I visited 1x just about every day to nurse. The teacher would call me when DS was ready to be fed. It was far better than pumping. Once DS moved to the toddler room (and was also done nursing) my visits started upsetting him or the other kids and so I stopped.