Another kid broke my son's jaw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, your son should tell his advisor or the appropriate admin contact at school. I don’t mean in order to get the other guy in trouble but to start a paper trail and whatever is needed bc your son will likely be missing classes, may need extensions if he has any oral exams, etc. not sure when finals will be coming up but he may need extensions depending on the surgery he needs, etc. I wouldn’t push it trying to get the other person to pay or anything bc your son was admittedly the instigator.

I agree. He needs to make sure the administration knows, because it's going to affect his ability to attend his classes and do the work.

I also find it hard to believe that the administration isn't already looking into this in some way, if it involved two students and happened on university property.

And focus less on demonizing the other guy--I suspect that the "touching" was more aggressive than your son let on. If he genuinely thinks that the other guy was in the wrong, then let him decide how to handle it.

[Anonymous]

This isn't a "teen" issue - he's 18 which is an adult in the eyes of the law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^You are obviously not a lawyer and don’t know what the hell you are talking about.

He assaulted someone. He was told to stop and then he assaulted them again. The response was self defense. No one can argue with that, whether his jaw got broken or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wasn’t your son the instigator?

Suppose so. Seems like a broken jaw may be taking it a bit far. Anger management issues perhaps?

Maybe but what are you looking for?

Not sure, that's obviously why I posted here. I'm upset some kid broke my son's jaw as I'm sure any parent would be. There were 5 other kids there so I'm sure I will be getting all sides of the story. I'm not looking for retribution or revenge. But I do think the kid should be held responsible for inflicting a serious injury. Apparently most of you would just let it go and that's fine. I'm just not sure what to do.

You have no business investigating this on your own. This is a police matter. Call them immediately.

If it were me I’d be embarrassed that I raised a son who can’t keep his hands to himself. I would think that I failed as a parent because my son went off to college but couldn’t manage a basic skill like not assaulting someone else, even when they give him a warning. I’d let him work this out himself so that he could LEARN some essential adult skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wasn’t your son the instigator?

Suppose so. Seems like a broken jaw may be taking it a bit far. Anger management issues perhaps?

Maybe but what are you looking for?

Not sure, that's obviously why I posted here. I'm upset some kid broke my son's jaw as I'm sure any parent would be. There were 5 other kids there so I'm sure I will be getting all sides of the story. I'm not looking for retribution or revenge. But I do think the kid should be held responsible for inflicting a serious injury. Apparently most of you would just let it go and that's fine. I'm just not sure what to do.

You have no business investigating this on your own. This is a police matter. Call them immediately.

If it were me I’d be embarrassed that I raised a son who can’t keep his hands to himself. I would think that I failed as a parent because my son went off to college but couldn’t manage a basic skill like not assaulting someone else, even when they give him a warning. I’d let him work this out himself so that he could LEARN some essential adult skills.

It’s alsk interesting that you posted this in ‘Tweens & Teens’ - even if he’s 18 or 19 he’s an adult. You’ve clearly been excusing his behavior for a long time and sweeping things under the rug otherwise he wouldn’t be acting like this. You’re not doing him any favors by coddling him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a crazy thread. Boy do some of you clearly get great satisfaction in coming down on OPs! Not her, just read over the whole thing.

+1 - I can't believe there are 11 pages of speculation about how this kid got injured. Wow.

[Anonymous]

What if OP’s son were actually a daughter? Everyone here still comfortable with the level of violence? She got what she deserves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again, as an RA, here are things I know some 18 year old men did to each other that led to fights in the dorms:

Place a used condom on a roommate’s pillow.
Fart directly at a hallmate walking by
Press naked genitals against a roommate’s family photo of mom and two sisters.
Ejaculate in roommate’s 2 in 1 shampoo
Smush a rotted pickled egg on hallmate’s back

All of these things were done to humiliate the other man and establish dominance. In all cases, things only went to the j board after the victim physically retailiated and then the injured perp claimed to be playing.

The injured “perp”? Except for the ones involving ejaculate, those don’t sound worthy of a punch. What happened to the boys discipline-wise?

In the cases where there was direct physical contact between the students, the aggressor got a minor consequence such as having to move. That’s all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if OP’s son were actually a daughter? Everyone here still comfortable with the level of violence? She got what she deserves?

I'm okay with people learning the hard way what the possible repercussions of not keeping their hands to themselves can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if OP’s son were actually a daughter? Everyone here still comfortable with the level of violence? She got what she deserves?

I am. And I say this as a woman who has daughters. My girls know full well that unwanted touching is open to legal and physical consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^You are obviously not a lawyer and don’t know what the hell you are talking about.

He assaulted someone. He was told to stop and then he assaulted them again. The response was self defense. No one can argue with that, whether his jaw got broken or not.

Nope, self defense doesn't work like that. The punch was not commensurate in force with the touch of the head.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If only one punch is necessary, I'd call that a hero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^You are obviously not a lawyer and don’t know what the hell you are talking about.

Sorry, I didn't see the sign where it said lawyers only on DCUM.

GTFOH.

You can't opine on legal questions, get it wrong, then complain that the lawyers call you out for being dead wrong. The issue of intent is almost always related to "foreseeable consequences of your actions." There are varying levels of criminal "intent" and proportional response that could come into play if self-defense is asserted. But, at the most basic level, our legal system tends to holds people responsible for the natural, foreseeable consequences of their intentional actions. Hard to say that a broken jaw was not such a consequence of a punch.

The questions is not did the puncher intend to break the jaw, but did the puncher intend to punch someone in the face + is it foreseeable (by a reasonable person) that someone's jaw might break if you punch them in the face.

+1 There's some weird posts on this threat attacking the OP's kid for a whole lot of things OP never said he did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lot of angry cowards who have never been in an actual fight on this thread.

Cowards being the ones who shriek "punching is not justified, if some guy keeps touching you, you should run crying to the authorities"?