Airplane seating situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are 10 pages of posts and I doubt I'll provide something new. But perhaps to summarize.

You are not at fault for what happened. You reserved and paid, it sounds like, for appropriate seating for your family and due to airline mistakes, they did not provide that. I am sorry this happened, and even sorrier that no one was compassionate or reasonable about helping you.

That said, your passivity in the face of all of this (and clearly your husband's passivity too) were a problem here. You need to realize that there are times when you need to stick up for your family and make waves, even if it makes you uncomfortable. You should use this as a learning experience. You should not in the future take no for an answer when it doesn't seem right to you. You owe it to your child not to place them at risk by sitting alone. The risk of an emergency and no one to help them is probably miniscule, the risk of a pedophile small, but the discomfort of being away from you in a stressful situation was probably real. I encourage you to read this thread carefully. Obviously some of the strategies here will not be for you, but some must be. Could you have told the airlines you would not board the plane without an appropriate seat? Could you have offered nearby passengers money to switch? Could you have let your husband and child stay back to fly on an appropriate flight with good seats (and demanded compensation from the airline for your inconvenience) while you flew home so you could get to work.

You and your husband both need ot work on your advocacy, so that the next time things go wrong you are agents for making it right. Good luck.

OP here: thanks for summarizing. After about 4 pages I was in tears and couldnt read it. Obviously I should have done something different, but lack of confrontation skills combined by issues from my past (abuse which became worse when I confronted my abuser) has made me meeker than I would like. I didn’t delve into my whole past here but it obviously was at play.

At any rate all’s well that ends well and you all made it back so don’t spend too much more time thinking about it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have asked to speak to the pilot. He is the captain of the ship and can demand that people move seats or exit the plane. The flight attendants don't have that authority but pilots do. I would not make a stink as that will get you tossed off.

This is the right approach. It never does you any good to yell and scream. Remaining calm and speaking softly but steely/determined gets good results. My DH does this and it's really effective.

[Anonymous]

I am one of the PP who has had this happened to me and I am really surprised at the number of posters who also have this happen to them or the posters who say “I won’t move”

So for the people who refuse to move, what’s in it for you? Why on earth do you want to sit next to an unaccompanied child? Putting on headphones won’t make them invisible. They can cry, scream, throw up, throw things, hit you, kick you, talk to you, poke you, wet themselves, poop themselves, need help eating, claim you hit them, claim you touched them, the list could go on. Why won’t you move?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have asked to speak to the pilot. He is the captain of the ship and can demand that people move seats or exit the plane. The flight attendants don't have that authority but pilots do. I would not make a stink as that will get you tossed off.

This is the right approach. It never does you any good to yell and scream. Remaining calm and speaking softly but steely/determined gets good results. My DH does this and it's really effective.

Didn't want to contribute to this post until I read that...what?! Really? Just trying to imagine the scenario and it contradict your point of not making a stink.

*Passnger goes up to flight attendant*
Passenger: I want to speak with the pilot.
Flight attendant: mam/sir, you can't do that right now unless it's an emergency
Passenger: No, this is an emergency, I'm being seated away from my child
Flight attendant: again, you can't do that and I'm not handing you over the intercom
*Passenger rushes over to the intercom pressing the button*
Passenger: Captain, this is Ms/r. of seat xx, I demand to be seated with my child
*Captain's face: *

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have asked to speak to the pilot. He is the captain of the ship and can demand that people move seats or exit the plane. The flight attendants don't have that authority but pilots do. I would not make a stink as that will get you tossed off.

This is the right approach. It never does you any good to yell and scream. Remaining calm and speaking softly but steely/determined gets good results. My DH does this and it's really effective.

Didn't want to contribute to this post until I read that...what?! Really? Just trying to imagine the scenario and it contradict your point of not making a stink.

*Passnger goes up to flight attendant*
Passenger: I want to speak with the pilot.
Flight attendant: mam/sir, you can't do that right now unless it's an emergency
Passenger: No, this is an emergency, I'm being seated away from my child
Flight attendant: again, you can't do that and I'm not handing you over the intercom
*Passenger rushes over to the intercom pressing the button*
Passenger: Captain, this is Ms/r. of seat xx, I demand to be seated with my child
*Captain's face: *

Huh?

[Anonymous]

It's a horrible thing for the airline to do, but you can't just sit by when you know this is a possibility. You return to the desk every X minutes until you know at least 2 of you are seated together. You stand at the podium and wait until at least one of you is seated with your child.

Yes, I would move for a child/other parent, but so many parents rely on this method for flying (not purchasing seats together) that you'll find less and less people willing to move. Lesson learned, your child is fine, and hopefully you'll be able to make a different choice next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a horrible thing for the airline to do, but you can't just sit by when you know this is a possibility. You return to the desk every X minutes until you know at least 2 of you are seated together. You stand at the podium and wait until at least one of you is seated with your child.

Yes, I would move for a child/other parent, but so many parents rely on this method for flying (not purchasing seats together) that you'll find less and less people willing to move. Lesson learned, your child is fine, and hopefully you'll be able to make a different choice next time.

Not OP, but someone else with small children and it would never in a million years have crossed my mind that this would be a possibility. I would have explained the situation and then trusted the gate attendants that they’d get it sorted out, just as OP did.

Don’t blame this on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op: get on Twitter and face book and start posting that the
Airline refused to let you sit with your 3 year old.

MKe sure you post that they created a very unsafe
Environment for a child to be near strangers.

Copy to all the news networks.


By morning the airline will be kissing your ass to try and
Do damage control for the bad Pr they are going to get.

The internet is your friend. Shame the fuch out of the airline.

Honestly, I don’t think you’ll get a huge reaction. It happened to us too, although child was a little older. But I don’t think it’s unheard of.

It’s interesting how half the posters on this thread are saying that similar things happened to them so they don’t think anyone would care, and half the posters claim that the whole situation is so outrageous that they don’t believe that OP is telling the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are 10 pages of posts and I doubt I'll provide something new. But perhaps to summarize.

You are not at fault for what happened. You reserved and paid, it sounds like, for appropriate seating for your family and due to airline mistakes, they did not provide that. I am sorry this happened, and even sorrier that no one was compassionate or reasonable about helping you.

That said, your passivity in the face of all of this (and clearly your husband's passivity too) were a problem here. You need to realize that there are times when you need to stick up for your family and make waves, even if it makes you uncomfortable. You should use this as a learning experience. You should not in the future take no for an answer when it doesn't seem right to you. You owe it to your child not to place them at risk by sitting alone. The risk of an emergency and no one to help them is probably miniscule, the risk of a pedophile small, but the discomfort of being away from you in a stressful situation was probably real. I encourage you to read this thread carefully. Obviously some of the strategies here will not be for you, but some must be. Could you have told the airlines you would not board the plane without an appropriate seat? Could you have offered nearby passengers money to switch? Could you have let your husband and child stay back to fly on an appropriate flight with good seats (and demanded compensation from the airline for your inconvenience) while you flew home so you could get to work.

You and your husband both need ot work on your advocacy, so that the next time things go wrong you are agents for making it right. Good luck.

OP here: thanks for summarizing. After about 4 pages I was in tears and couldnt read it. Obviously I should have done something different, but lack of confrontation skills combined by issues from my past (abuse which became worse when I confronted my abuser) has made me meeker than I would like. I didn’t delve into my whole past here but it obviously was at play.

The only thing you could have done was get off the plane and ask to be put on the next plane out where child was seated with one adult. I would have gotten off the plane and waited for the next one if I had that luxury of time. I would have no issue being next to a young child if the parent needed me to but I would actually help that child, but reality is most wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the PP who has had this happened to me and I am really surprised at the number of posters who also have this happen to them or the posters who say “I won’t move”

So for the people who refuse to move, what’s in it for you? Why on earth do you want to sit next to an unaccompanied child? Putting on headphones won’t make them invisible. They can cry, scream, throw up, throw things, hit you, kick you, talk to you, poke you, wet themselves, poop themselves, need help eating, claim you hit them, claim you touched them, the list could go on. Why won’t you move?

People who refuse are banking that one of the other five people will agree to switch. It's a multi-player game of chicken. And sometimes, no one blinks, and there's a crash. That's what happened here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the PP who has had this happened to me and I am really surprised at the number of posters who also have this happen to them or the posters who say “I won’t move”

So for the people who refuse to move, what’s in it for you? Why on earth do you want to sit next to an unaccompanied child? Putting on headphones won’t make them invisible. They can cry, scream, throw up, throw things, hit you, kick you, talk to you, poke you, wet themselves, poop themselves, need help eating, claim you hit them, claim you touched them, the list could go on. Why won’t you move?

Only a child whose insane, paranoid parents had prepped them to say things like this would do that. Glad to see you're raising a sociopathic little liar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the PP who has had this happened to me and I am really surprised at the number of posters who also have this happen to them or the posters who say “I won’t move”

So for the people who refuse to move, what’s in it for you? Why on earth do you want to sit next to an unaccompanied child? Putting on headphones won’t make them invisible. They can cry, scream, throw up, throw things, hit you, kick you, talk to you, poke you, wet themselves, poop themselves, need help eating, claim you hit them, claim you touched them, the list could go on. Why won’t you move?

Only a child whose insane, paranoid parents had prepped them to say things like this would do that. Glad to see you're raising a sociopathic little liar.

+1000. What kind of monster did you birth? Seriously. I guarantee you that at least 80% of the people on that plane have had children and obviously didn’t see them as the threat you are describing. It’s a young child, not a Ebola ridden rapid raccoon. Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the PP who has had this happened to me and I am really surprised at the number of posters who also have this happen to them or the posters who say “I won’t move”

So for the people who refuse to move, what’s in it for you? Why on earth do you want to sit next to an unaccompanied child? Putting on headphones won’t make them invisible. They can cry, scream, throw up, throw things, hit you, kick you, talk to you, poke you, wet themselves, poop themselves, need help eating, claim you hit them, claim you touched them, the list could go on. Why won’t you move?

Only a child whose insane, paranoid parents had prepped them to say things like this would do that. Glad to see you're raising a sociopathic little liar.

+1000. What kind of monster did you birth? Seriously. I guarantee you that at least 80% of the people on that plane have had children and obviously didn’t see them as the threat you are describing. It’s a young child, not a Ebola ridden rapid raccoon. Geez.

What? You need to calm down. I don’t want the liability of sitting next to someone else’s kid with their parents sitting somewhere else, including having someone else’s kid make a false claim about me (that lady was mean, or that lady wouldn’t help me or that lady touched me). Where in god’s name did I say I was raising bad kids or that I thought all kids were bad. WTF PP? You sound like the kid of person who doesn’t move, so got it.

[Anonymous]

no effing way would this have worked.

She could have been surrounded by pervs showing and touching and Lord knows what else. I actually am having a hard time believing this is a true post as the airline would be liable if she were hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me once. In that case, it was my 3 year old son who was in a window seat about 5 rows away from me. This kid has horrible motion sickness. I had an aisle seat, and offered to switch with the woman next to him (also an aisle). She refused. So.... I pulled out his barf bag, reminded him how to use it, and showed him what button to push to alert the flight attendant after he threw up.

The lady decided to switch with me after all.

That's awesome. I am going to consider doing this even though my kid does not get motion sickness on airplanes.

I've had this happen to me, and it's really frustrating. I booked the seats together, but the airline changed them (usually because the plane model changed), and even though my kid's birthday is entered into the system, they separated us. It shouldn't be on me as a passenger to try to persuade someone else to switch seats. I can't imagine that the airline wants to be liable for any injury to a minor child when they've separated the child and the parents. Imagine the chaos in an emergency--parents would be pushing against the flow of passengers to get to their child, kids would be panicking--what a nightmare.