Is 250k a bad salary now for a man?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is a wonderful salary. I could make this HHI work and meet all the goals for our family - SFH, foreign vacations, socializing, cars, tutors, ECs, cleaning lady, 2 kids college.

- SAHM


Where do you live and how much is your mortgage payment? Here's a rough estimate of cost breakdowns for a family of two:

$250,000 Gross Income
401(k) Deferral– $24,500
All Taxes (~23.7%)– $59,170
Net Take-Home Pay~$166,330
Annual Mortgage Payment (Assume a $600k mortgage @ 6.25%) - $44,328
Annual College Savings (2 kids)– $30,000

Remaining Cash Flow~$92,002/yr (this would have to cover cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, utilities, cell phones, insurance, cable, entertainment, eating out). I couldn't do it, but admittedly, my kids are in expensive sports, and I like some creature comforts, like getting my hair professionally colored and cut, and going to pilates.


92k for cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, and all your other bills doesn't actually sound that hard to me, but I don't go to pilates so maybe that's it.

$15k/yr college savings sounds excessive to me. We do 8-10k per kid and are in great shape right now with kids in late elementary. But also we aren't over-investing in 529s. We will stop contributing once they each hit 150k. We have other savings sprinkled over a variety of vehicles, including treasury bonds, plus we expect to be able to cash flow some college expenses because our house will be paid off long before our kids hit college.

We bought a townhome prior to having kids and paid the mortgage down aggressively so when we sold it after 10 years (at 35 and 32, with two young kids) we had no mortgage. We took the proceeds and put them toward our house. Currently worth 1.2 million, we only have 300k left on the mortgage, currently pay 35k/yr.

So on your budget, assuming other numbers were accurate, we have more like 120k after taxes, retirement, college savings, and mortgage. Maybe I can go to pilates after all!!


I made a point above about how $250k is actually a fine salary for those of us who have been in the housing market for a while. But if you're a young couple saving for a down payment and getting a mortgage at current rates, it's tough.

Also, I don't think $150k per kid is going to cut it for college costs, even for in-state tuition, but I hope I am wrong. We are tarketing $350k per kid before we stop contributions. We both went to expensive schools, so we feel like we should pay it forward.


It’s not the end of the world to have your kids go in state, work a bit through college, and graduate with some student loans. That’s what happened with me and I’m saving enough to maybe cover the whole portion of in state, but maybe not. Thinking you need to save 30k/yr for college is wild


It’s not the end of the world, but some of us want to give our kids more, certainly those of us whose parents paid for our college want to pay it forward to our kids. It’s how the rich keep getting richer.


Lol the rich do NOT get richer by sending their mediocre kids to mediocre private colleges that cost 90k/yr. It may just be a waste of 400k and then your kid decides to be an instagram influencer or a pro surfer.

The rich get richer by investing capital, utilizing accounting tricks, and paying as little taxes as possible. And you can do that while sending your kids to literally any school or no school at all.

Putting 700k in 529s so your now-pre-teen children can attend "expensive" colleges is not a smart financial move. If you are rich enough, it won't bankrupt you, but it's not clever financial planning. It's actually just weird.

The truly wealthy people I know don't even have 529s. It's for middle class people, like financing a home purchase instead of buying in cash to expedite the sale and then leveraging the house with a HELOC afterwards, like actual rich people do.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is a wonderful salary. I could make this HHI work and meet all the goals for our family - SFH, foreign vacations, socializing, cars, tutors, ECs, cleaning lady, 2 kids college.

- SAHM


Where do you live and how much is your mortgage payment? Here's a rough estimate of cost breakdowns for a family of two:

$250,000 Gross Income
401(k) Deferral– $24,500
All Taxes (~23.7%)– $59,170
Net Take-Home Pay~$166,330
Annual Mortgage Payment (Assume a $600k mortgage @ 6.25%) - $44,328
Annual College Savings (2 kids)– $30,000

Remaining Cash Flow~$92,002/yr (this would have to cover cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, utilities, cell phones, insurance, cable, entertainment, eating out). I couldn't do it, but admittedly, my kids are in expensive sports, and I like some creature comforts, like getting my hair professionally colored and cut, and going to pilates.


92k for cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, and all your other bills doesn't actually sound that hard to me, but I don't go to pilates so maybe that's it.

$15k/yr college savings sounds excessive to me. We do 8-10k per kid and are in great shape right now with kids in late elementary. But also we aren't over-investing in 529s. We will stop contributing once they each hit 150k. We have other savings sprinkled over a variety of vehicles, including treasury bonds, plus we expect to be able to cash flow some college expenses because our house will be paid off long before our kids hit college.

We bought a townhome prior to having kids and paid the mortgage down aggressively so when we sold it after 10 years (at 35 and 32, with two young kids) we had no mortgage. We took the proceeds and put them toward our house. Currently worth 1.2 million, we only have 300k left on the mortgage, currently pay 35k/yr.

So on your budget, assuming other numbers were accurate, we have more like 120k after taxes, retirement, college savings, and mortgage. Maybe I can go to pilates after all!!


I made a point above about how $250k is actually a fine salary for those of us who have been in the housing market for a while. But if you're a young couple saving for a down payment and getting a mortgage at current rates, it's tough.

Also, I don't think $150k per kid is going to cut it for college costs, even for in-state tuition, but I hope I am wrong. We are tarketing $350k per kid before we stop contributions. We both went to expensive schools, so we feel like we should pay it forward.


It’s not the end of the world to have your kids go in state, work a bit through college, and graduate with some student loans. That’s what happened with me and I’m saving enough to maybe cover the whole portion of in state, but maybe not. Thinking you need to save 30k/yr for college is wild


It’s not the end of the world, but some of us want to give our kids more, certainly those of us whose parents paid for our college want to pay it forward to our kids. It’s how the rich keep getting richer.


Lol the rich do NOT get richer by sending their mediocre kids to mediocre private colleges that cost 90k/yr. It may just be a waste of 400k and then your kid decides to be an instagram influencer or a pro surfer.

The rich get richer by investing capital, utilizing accounting tricks, and paying as little taxes as possible. And you can do that while sending your kids to literally any school or no school at all.

Putting 700k in 529s so your now-pre-teen children can attend "expensive" colleges is not a smart financial move. If you are rich enough, it won't bankrupt you, but it's not clever financial planning. It's actually just weird.

The truly wealthy people I know don't even have 529s. It's for middle class people, like financing a home purchase instead of buying in cash to expedite the sale and then leveraging the house with a HELOC afterwards, like actual rich people do.


I'm fine being called names. My kids can go to whatever school they get into and graduate without debt. That's what makes me feel good, not your validation.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is a wonderful salary. I could make this HHI work and meet all the goals for our family - SFH, foreign vacations, socializing, cars, tutors, ECs, cleaning lady, 2 kids college.

- SAHM


Where do you live and how much is your mortgage payment? Here's a rough estimate of cost breakdowns for a family of two:

$250,000 Gross Income
401(k) Deferral– $24,500
All Taxes (~23.7%)– $59,170
Net Take-Home Pay~$166,330
Annual Mortgage Payment (Assume a $600k mortgage @ 6.25%) - $44,328
Annual College Savings (2 kids)– $30,000

Remaining Cash Flow~$92,002/yr (this would have to cover cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, utilities, cell phones, insurance, cable, entertainment, eating out). I couldn't do it, but admittedly, my kids are in expensive sports, and I like some creature comforts, like getting my hair professionally colored and cut, and going to pilates.


Don’t stop there! I’d LOVE to see where your 92k after housing and savings goes. Are you getting your hair colored with actual gold?


DP

It’s so easy to spend money. We make more than that and spend 60k for 2 kids in private school 10k per kid for summer camp … I could go on.

PP said her kids do travel sports - depending on the sport that’s easily over 20k, multiply that by number of kids an you can be broke even sending them to public school.


I have three kids in travel sports and we don’t spend that much.

I agree, it’s incredibly easy to spend money, but it’s also incredibly unnecessary to *waste* money the way some of you do…


Exactly. Imagine spending 20k per child on freaking travel sports and thus concluding that you cannot possibly live on 250k a year.

This is not impressive or intelligent. Nor is rejecting an otherwise great potential partner because you don't feel they make enough for all three of your hypothetical future children to do travel lacrosse. This would be stupid.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is a wonderful salary. I could make this HHI work and meet all the goals for our family - SFH, foreign vacations, socializing, cars, tutors, ECs, cleaning lady, 2 kids college.

- SAHM


Where do you live and how much is your mortgage payment? Here's a rough estimate of cost breakdowns for a family of two:

$250,000 Gross Income
401(k) Deferral– $24,500
All Taxes (~23.7%)– $59,170
Net Take-Home Pay~$166,330
Annual Mortgage Payment (Assume a $600k mortgage @ 6.25%) - $44,328
Annual College Savings (2 kids)– $30,000

Remaining Cash Flow~$92,002/yr (this would have to cover cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, utilities, cell phones, insurance, cable, entertainment, eating out). I couldn't do it, but admittedly, my kids are in expensive sports, and I like some creature comforts, like getting my hair professionally colored and cut, and going to pilates.


92k for cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, and all your other bills doesn't actually sound that hard to me, but I don't go to pilates so maybe that's it.

$15k/yr college savings sounds excessive to me. We do 8-10k per kid and are in great shape right now with kids in late elementary. But also we aren't over-investing in 529s. We will stop contributing once they each hit 150k. We have other savings sprinkled over a variety of vehicles, including treasury bonds, plus we expect to be able to cash flow some college expenses because our house will be paid off long before our kids hit college.

We bought a townhome prior to having kids and paid the mortgage down aggressively so when we sold it after 10 years (at 35 and 32, with two young kids) we had no mortgage. We took the proceeds and put them toward our house. Currently worth 1.2 million, we only have 300k left on the mortgage, currently pay 35k/yr.

So on your budget, assuming other numbers were accurate, we have more like 120k after taxes, retirement, college savings, and mortgage. Maybe I can go to pilates after all!!


I made a point above about how $250k is actually a fine salary for those of us who have been in the housing market for a while. But if you're a young couple saving for a down payment and getting a mortgage at current rates, it's tough.

Also, I don't think $150k per kid is going to cut it for college costs, even for in-state tuition, but I hope I am wrong. We are tarketing $350k per kid before we stop contributions. We both went to expensive schools, so we feel like we should pay it forward.


It’s not the end of the world to have your kids go in state, work a bit through college, and graduate with some student loans. That’s what happened with me and I’m saving enough to maybe cover the whole portion of in state, but maybe not. Thinking you need to save 30k/yr for college is wild


It’s not the end of the world, but some of us want to give our kids more, certainly those of us whose parents paid for our college want to pay it forward to our kids. It’s how the rich keep getting richer.


Lol the rich do NOT get richer by sending their mediocre kids to mediocre private colleges that cost 90k/yr. It may just be a waste of 400k and then your kid decides to be an instagram influencer or a pro surfer.

The rich get richer by investing capital, utilizing accounting tricks, and paying as little taxes as possible. And you can do that while sending your kids to literally any school or no school at all.

Putting 700k in 529s so your now-pre-teen children can attend "expensive" colleges is not a smart financial move. If you are rich enough, it won't bankrupt you, but it's not clever financial planning. It's actually just weird.

The truly wealthy people I know don't even have 529s. It's for middle class people, like financing a home purchase instead of buying in cash to expedite the sale and then leveraging the house with a HELOC afterwards, like actual rich people do.


I'm fine being called names. My kids can go to whatever school they get into and graduate without debt. That's what makes me feel good, not your validation.


Are there 90k/yr schools for the financially illiterate? I wish them well there.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is a wonderful salary. I could make this HHI work and meet all the goals for our family - SFH, foreign vacations, socializing, cars, tutors, ECs, cleaning lady, 2 kids college.

- SAHM


Where do you live and how much is your mortgage payment? Here's a rough estimate of cost breakdowns for a family of two:

$250,000 Gross Income
401(k) Deferral– $24,500
All Taxes (~23.7%)– $59,170
Net Take-Home Pay~$166,330
Annual Mortgage Payment (Assume a $600k mortgage @ 6.25%) - $44,328
Annual College Savings (2 kids)– $30,000

Remaining Cash Flow~$92,002/yr (this would have to cover cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, utilities, cell phones, insurance, cable, entertainment, eating out). I couldn't do it, but admittedly, my kids are in expensive sports, and I like some creature comforts, like getting my hair professionally colored and cut, and going to pilates.


Don’t stop there! I’d LOVE to see where your 92k after housing and savings goes. Are you getting your hair colored with actual gold?


DP

It’s so easy to spend money. We make more than that and spend 60k for 2 kids in private school 10k per kid for summer camp … I could go on.

PP said her kids do travel sports - depending on the sport that’s easily over 20k, multiply that by number of kids an you can be broke even sending them to public school.


I have three kids in travel sports and we don’t spend that much.

I agree, it’s incredibly easy to spend money, but it’s also incredibly unnecessary to *waste* money the way some of you do…


Exactly. Imagine spending 20k per child on freaking travel sports and thus concluding that you cannot possibly live on 250k a year.

This is not impressive or intelligent. Nor is rejecting an otherwise great potential partner because you don't feel they make enough for all three of your hypothetical future children to do travel lacrosse. This would be stupid.


I mostly agree with you that you shouldn't let travel sports run your life, and you shouldn't reject a potential partner over potential travel lacrosse. I think you should make enough money to support the lifestyle you want, and it's always good advice to try to marry someone with similar ambitions, goals, and work ethic. Most young women who make over $250k marry men who make over $250k, at least that's how it played out with my law school classmates. The good news is that if you are happy with a $250k HHI, especially if you make $125k of the total, then you will have a lot more dating options than people who want more.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is a wonderful salary. I could make this HHI work and meet all the goals for our family - SFH, foreign vacations, socializing, cars, tutors, ECs, cleaning lady, 2 kids college.

- SAHM


Where do you live and how much is your mortgage payment? Here's a rough estimate of cost breakdowns for a family of two:

$250,000 Gross Income
401(k) Deferral– $24,500
All Taxes (~23.7%)– $59,170
Net Take-Home Pay~$166,330
Annual Mortgage Payment (Assume a $600k mortgage @ 6.25%) - $44,328
Annual College Savings (2 kids)– $30,000

Remaining Cash Flow~$92,002/yr (this would have to cover cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, utilities, cell phones, insurance, cable, entertainment, eating out). I couldn't do it, but admittedly, my kids are in expensive sports, and I like some creature comforts, like getting my hair professionally colored and cut, and going to pilates.


92k for cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, and all your other bills doesn't actually sound that hard to me, but I don't go to pilates so maybe that's it.

$15k/yr college savings sounds excessive to me. We do 8-10k per kid and are in great shape right now with kids in late elementary. But also we aren't over-investing in 529s. We will stop contributing once they each hit 150k. We have other savings sprinkled over a variety of vehicles, including treasury bonds, plus we expect to be able to cash flow some college expenses because our house will be paid off long before our kids hit college.

We bought a townhome prior to having kids and paid the mortgage down aggressively so when we sold it after 10 years (at 35 and 32, with two young kids) we had no mortgage. We took the proceeds and put them toward our house. Currently worth 1.2 million, we only have 300k left on the mortgage, currently pay 35k/yr.

So on your budget, assuming other numbers were accurate, we have more like 120k after taxes, retirement, college savings, and mortgage. Maybe I can go to pilates after all!!


I made a point above about how $250k is actually a fine salary for those of us who have been in the housing market for a while. But if you're a young couple saving for a down payment and getting a mortgage at current rates, it's tough.

Also, I don't think $150k per kid is going to cut it for college costs, even for in-state tuition, but I hope I am wrong. We are tarketing $350k per kid before we stop contributions. We both went to expensive schools, so we feel like we should pay it forward.


It’s not the end of the world to have your kids go in state, work a bit through college, and graduate with some student loans. That’s what happened with me and I’m saving enough to maybe cover the whole portion of in state, but maybe not. Thinking you need to save 30k/yr for college is wild


It’s not the end of the world, but some of us want to give our kids more, certainly those of us whose parents paid for our college want to pay it forward to our kids. It’s how the rich keep getting richer.


Lol the rich do NOT get richer by sending their mediocre kids to mediocre private colleges that cost 90k/yr. It may just be a waste of 400k and then your kid decides to be an instagram influencer or a pro surfer.

The rich get richer by investing capital, utilizing accounting tricks, and paying as little taxes as possible. And you can do that while sending your kids to literally any school or no school at all.

Putting 700k in 529s so your now-pre-teen children can attend "expensive" colleges is not a smart financial move. If you are rich enough, it won't bankrupt you, but it's not clever financial planning. It's actually just weird.

The truly wealthy people I know don't even have 529s. It's for middle class people, like financing a home purchase instead of buying in cash to expedite the sale and then leveraging the house with a HELOC afterwards, like actual rich people do.


I'm fine being called names. My kids can go to whatever school they get into and graduate without debt. That's what makes me feel good, not your validation.


Are there 90k/yr schools for the financially illiterate? I wish them well there.


Their must be, based on the amount of annual giving on top of tuition.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is a wonderful salary. I could make this HHI work and meet all the goals for our family - SFH, foreign vacations, socializing, cars, tutors, ECs, cleaning lady, 2 kids college.

- SAHM


Where do you live and how much is your mortgage payment? Here's a rough estimate of cost breakdowns for a family of two:

$250,000 Gross Income
401(k) Deferral– $24,500
All Taxes (~23.7%)– $59,170
Net Take-Home Pay~$166,330
Annual Mortgage Payment (Assume a $600k mortgage @ 6.25%) - $44,328
Annual College Savings (2 kids)– $30,000

Remaining Cash Flow~$92,002/yr (this would have to cover cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, utilities, cell phones, insurance, cable, entertainment, eating out). I couldn't do it, but admittedly, my kids are in expensive sports, and I like some creature comforts, like getting my hair professionally colored and cut, and going to pilates.


Don’t stop there! I’d LOVE to see where your 92k after housing and savings goes. Are you getting your hair colored with actual gold?


DP

It’s so easy to spend money. We make more than that and spend 60k for 2 kids in private school 10k per kid for summer camp … I could go on.

PP said her kids do travel sports - depending on the sport that’s easily over 20k, multiply that by number of kids an you can be broke even sending them to public school.


I have three kids in travel sports and we don’t spend that much.

I agree, it’s incredibly easy to spend money, but it’s also incredibly unnecessary to *waste* money the way some of you do…


Exactly. Imagine spending 20k per child on freaking travel sports and thus concluding that you cannot possibly live on 250k a year.

This is not impressive or intelligent. Nor is rejecting an otherwise great potential partner because you don't feel they make enough for all three of your hypothetical future children to do travel lacrosse. This would be stupid.


People are latching on to travel sports like it's the only difference between a $250k and $500k lifestyle. Travel sports are clearly a trigger around here.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is a wonderful salary. I could make this HHI work and meet all the goals for our family - SFH, foreign vacations, socializing, cars, tutors, ECs, cleaning lady, 2 kids college.

- SAHM


Where do you live and how much is your mortgage payment? Here's a rough estimate of cost breakdowns for a family of two:

$250,000 Gross Income
401(k) Deferral– $24,500
All Taxes (~23.7%)– $59,170
Net Take-Home Pay~$166,330
Annual Mortgage Payment (Assume a $600k mortgage @ 6.25%) - $44,328
Annual College Savings (2 kids)– $30,000

Remaining Cash Flow~$92,002/yr (this would have to cover cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, utilities, cell phones, insurance, cable, entertainment, eating out). I couldn't do it, but admittedly, my kids are in expensive sports, and I like some creature comforts, like getting my hair professionally colored and cut, and going to pilates.


Don’t stop there! I’d LOVE to see where your 92k after housing and savings goes. Are you getting your hair colored with actual gold?


DP

It’s so easy to spend money. We make more than that and spend 60k for 2 kids in private school 10k per kid for summer camp … I could go on.

PP said her kids do travel sports - depending on the sport that’s easily over 20k, multiply that by number of kids an you can be broke even sending them to public school.


I have three kids in travel sports and we don’t spend that much.

I agree, it’s incredibly easy to spend money, but it’s also incredibly unnecessary to *waste* money the way some of you do…


Exactly. Imagine spending 20k per child on freaking travel sports and thus concluding that you cannot possibly live on 250k a year.

This is not impressive or intelligent. Nor is rejecting an otherwise great potential partner because you don't feel they make enough for all three of your hypothetical future children to do travel lacrosse. This would be stupid.


People are latching on to travel sports like it's the only difference between a $250k and $500k lifestyle. Travel sports are clearly a trigger around here.


Travel sports make sense as a "trigger" in this conversation because it's one of the best examples of a parenting expense with terrible ROI. Especially if you're doing the kind of travel sport that costs 20k/yr.

Sports are a terrific extra curricular for kids -- a way to learn dedication, perseverance, teamwork, sportsmanship, and humility while also getting exercise. But you get all that whether you spend 2k/yr or 20k/yr. If you are spending 20k/yr, what is it for? Often the extra money is going to feed a delusion of their kid getting a full ride scholarship (rare, and does not actually require a 20k/yr investment for most sports) or worse, playing professionally (a statistical anomaly, it's so rare).

Your kids can do sports competitively without spending 20k per year. In fact, if you are spending that much on a sport, you are in one of two categories: (1) you have a future pro on your hands, I wish them luck in the WTA or MLS or the NFL or whatever, or (2) you're a sucker. Look up statistics on what percent of young athletes go pro to figure out the likelihood that you are in category (1) versus category (2).
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is a wonderful salary. I could make this HHI work and meet all the goals for our family - SFH, foreign vacations, socializing, cars, tutors, ECs, cleaning lady, 2 kids college.

- SAHM


Where do you live and how much is your mortgage payment? Here's a rough estimate of cost breakdowns for a family of two:

$250,000 Gross Income
401(k) Deferral– $24,500
All Taxes (~23.7%)– $59,170
Net Take-Home Pay~$166,330
Annual Mortgage Payment (Assume a $600k mortgage @ 6.25%) - $44,328
Annual College Savings (2 kids)– $30,000

Remaining Cash Flow~$92,002/yr (this would have to cover cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, utilities, cell phones, insurance, cable, entertainment, eating out). I couldn't do it, but admittedly, my kids are in expensive sports, and I like some creature comforts, like getting my hair professionally colored and cut, and going to pilates.


Don’t stop there! I’d LOVE to see where your 92k after housing and savings goes. Are you getting your hair colored with actual gold?


DP

It’s so easy to spend money. We make more than that and spend 60k for 2 kids in private school 10k per kid for summer camp … I could go on.

PP said her kids do travel sports - depending on the sport that’s easily over 20k, multiply that by number of kids an you can be broke even sending them to public school.


I have three kids in travel sports and we don’t spend that much.

I agree, it’s incredibly easy to spend money, but it’s also incredibly unnecessary to *waste* money the way some of you do…


Exactly. Imagine spending 20k per child on freaking travel sports and thus concluding that you cannot possibly live on 250k a year.

This is not impressive or intelligent. Nor is rejecting an otherwise great potential partner because you don't feel they make enough for all three of your hypothetical future children to do travel lacrosse. This would be stupid.


People are latching on to travel sports like it's the only difference between a $250k and $500k lifestyle. Travel sports are clearly a trigger around here.


Travel sports make sense as a "trigger" in this conversation because it's one of the best examples of a parenting expense with terrible ROI. Especially if you're doing the kind of travel sport that costs 20k/yr.

Sports are a terrific extra curricular for kids -- a way to learn dedication, perseverance, teamwork, sportsmanship, and humility while also getting exercise. But you get all that whether you spend 2k/yr or 20k/yr. If you are spending 20k/yr, what is it for? Often the extra money is going to feed a delusion of their kid getting a full ride scholarship (rare, and does not actually require a 20k/yr investment for most sports) or worse, playing professionally (a statistical anomaly, it's so rare).

Your kids can do sports competitively without spending 20k per year. In fact, if you are spending that much on a sport, you are in one of two categories: (1) you have a future pro on your hands, I wish them luck in the WTA or MLS or the NFL or whatever, or (2) you're a sucker. Look up statistics on what percent of young athletes go pro to figure out the likelihood that you are in category (1) versus category (2).


Use college instead of travel sports. If you went to Princeton and want to send your kids to Princeton, you can't date people who think only dumb people send their kids to schools that cost $90k per year. PP is not your person. The biggest takeaway, more than a number like $250k per year, is to date people whose values, goals, and priorities align with your own.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is a wonderful salary. I could make this HHI work and meet all the goals for our family - SFH, foreign vacations, socializing, cars, tutors, ECs, cleaning lady, 2 kids college.

- SAHM


Where do you live and how much is your mortgage payment? Here's a rough estimate of cost breakdowns for a family of two:

$250,000 Gross Income
401(k) Deferral– $24,500
All Taxes (~23.7%)– $59,170
Net Take-Home Pay~$166,330
Annual Mortgage Payment (Assume a $600k mortgage @ 6.25%) - $44,328
Annual College Savings (2 kids)– $30,000

Remaining Cash Flow~$92,002/yr (this would have to cover cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, utilities, cell phones, insurance, cable, entertainment, eating out). I couldn't do it, but admittedly, my kids are in expensive sports, and I like some creature comforts, like getting my hair professionally colored and cut, and going to pilates.


Don’t stop there! I’d LOVE to see where your 92k after housing and savings goes. Are you getting your hair colored with actual gold?


DP

It’s so easy to spend money. We make more than that and spend 60k for 2 kids in private school 10k per kid for summer camp … I could go on.

PP said her kids do travel sports - depending on the sport that’s easily over 20k, multiply that by number of kids an you can be broke even sending them to public school.


I have three kids in travel sports and we don’t spend that much.

I agree, it’s incredibly easy to spend money, but it’s also incredibly unnecessary to *waste* money the way some of you do…


Exactly. Imagine spending 20k per child on freaking travel sports and thus concluding that you cannot possibly live on 250k a year.

This is not impressive or intelligent. Nor is rejecting an otherwise great potential partner because you don't feel they make enough for all three of your hypothetical future children to do travel lacrosse. This would be stupid.


People are latching on to travel sports like it's the only difference between a $250k and $500k lifestyle. Travel sports are clearly a trigger around here.


Travel sports make sense as a "trigger" in this conversation because it's one of the best examples of a parenting expense with terrible ROI. Especially if you're doing the kind of travel sport that costs 20k/yr.

Sports are a terrific extra curricular for kids -- a way to learn dedication, perseverance, teamwork, sportsmanship, and humility while also getting exercise. But you get all that whether you spend 2k/yr or 20k/yr. If you are spending 20k/yr, what is it for? Often the extra money is going to feed a delusion of their kid getting a full ride scholarship (rare, and does not actually require a 20k/yr investment for most sports) or worse, playing professionally (a statistical anomaly, it's so rare).

Your kids can do sports competitively without spending 20k per year. In fact, if you are spending that much on a sport, you are in one of two categories: (1) you have a future pro on your hands, I wish them luck in the WTA or MLS or the NFL or whatever, or (2) you're a sucker. Look up statistics on what percent of young athletes go pro to figure out the likelihood that you are in category (1) versus category (2).


Use college instead of travel sports. If you went to Princeton and want to send your kids to Princeton, you can't date people who think only dumb people send their kids to schools that cost $90k per year. PP is not your person. The biggest takeaway, more than a number like $250k per year, is to date people whose values, goals, and priorities align with your own.


Yea, also you can’t date people who think a weekend trip down I-94 is essentially the same as visiting Pompey or Petra.

On travel sports, many swimmers who stuck it out through HS get full rides into great colleges
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is a wonderful salary. I could make this HHI work and meet all the goals for our family - SFH, foreign vacations, socializing, cars, tutors, ECs, cleaning lady, 2 kids college.

- SAHM


Where do you live and how much is your mortgage payment? Here's a rough estimate of cost breakdowns for a family of two:

$250,000 Gross Income
401(k) Deferral– $24,500
All Taxes (~23.7%)– $59,170
Net Take-Home Pay~$166,330
Annual Mortgage Payment (Assume a $600k mortgage @ 6.25%) - $44,328
Annual College Savings (2 kids)– $30,000

Remaining Cash Flow~$92,002/yr (this would have to cover cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, utilities, cell phones, insurance, cable, entertainment, eating out). I couldn't do it, but admittedly, my kids are in expensive sports, and I like some creature comforts, like getting my hair professionally colored and cut, and going to pilates.


Don’t stop there! I’d LOVE to see where your 92k after housing and savings goes. Are you getting your hair colored with actual gold?


DP

It’s so easy to spend money. We make more than that and spend 60k for 2 kids in private school 10k per kid for summer camp … I could go on.

PP said her kids do travel sports - depending on the sport that’s easily over 20k, multiply that by number of kids an you can be broke even sending them to public school.


I have three kids in travel sports and we don’t spend that much.

I agree, it’s incredibly easy to spend money, but it’s also incredibly unnecessary to *waste* money the way some of you do…


Exactly. Imagine spending 20k per child on freaking travel sports and thus concluding that you cannot possibly live on 250k a year.

This is not impressive or intelligent. Nor is rejecting an otherwise great potential partner because you don't feel they make enough for all three of your hypothetical future children to do travel lacrosse. This would be stupid.


People are latching on to travel sports like it's the only difference between a $250k and $500k lifestyle. Travel sports are clearly a trigger around here.


Travel sports make sense as a "trigger" in this conversation because it's one of the best examples of a parenting expense with terrible ROI. Especially if you're doing the kind of travel sport that costs 20k/yr.

Sports are a terrific extra curricular for kids -- a way to learn dedication, perseverance, teamwork, sportsmanship, and humility while also getting exercise. But you get all that whether you spend 2k/yr or 20k/yr. If you are spending 20k/yr, what is it for? Often the extra money is going to feed a delusion of their kid getting a full ride scholarship (rare, and does not actually require a 20k/yr investment for most sports) or worse, playing professionally (a statistical anomaly, it's so rare).

Your kids can do sports competitively without spending 20k per year. In fact, if you are spending that much on a sport, you are in one of two categories: (1) you have a future pro on your hands, I wish them luck in the WTA or MLS or the NFL or whatever, or (2) you're a sucker. Look up statistics on what percent of young athletes go pro to figure out the likelihood that you are in category (1) versus category (2).


Use college instead of travel sports. If you went to Princeton and want to send your kids to Princeton, you can't date people who think only dumb people send their kids to schools that cost $90k per year. PP is not your person. The biggest takeaway, more than a number like $250k per year, is to date people whose values, goals, and priorities align with your own.


I mean, fundamentally I agree. But just pointing out the "expensive college" PP didn't say Princeton. She just said "expensive." I think people would respond differently if she'd said "my spouse and I went to academically demanding schools that prepared us well for our lives and we want that for our kids too." She simply noted they went to expensive schools. In a conversation about whether it's possible to live a good life on 250k, prioritizing simply going to schools that cost a lot of money, regardless of quality or value, was appropriately made fun of. If the thing you value is just spending money for its own sake, to prove you can, then people are going to roll their eyes at you.

Also plenty of people value sending their kids to very good schools but don't think the way to do that is to put 30k/yr into 529s. As has been pointed out repeatedly, lots of people only fund 529s up to a certain point and then plan to use other funding sources, including cash, to pay for college (even "expensive" college). The PP was acting like 700k in 529s was a non-negotiable necessity. That was what people were making fun of. Deservedly! It reflects some financial naïveté.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is a wonderful salary. I could make this HHI work and meet all the goals for our family - SFH, foreign vacations, socializing, cars, tutors, ECs, cleaning lady, 2 kids college.

- SAHM


Where do you live and how much is your mortgage payment? Here's a rough estimate of cost breakdowns for a family of two:

$250,000 Gross Income
401(k) Deferral– $24,500
All Taxes (~23.7%)– $59,170
Net Take-Home Pay~$166,330
Annual Mortgage Payment (Assume a $600k mortgage @ 6.25%) - $44,328
Annual College Savings (2 kids)– $30,000

Remaining Cash Flow~$92,002/yr (this would have to cover cars, food, ECs, cleaning lady, vacations, utilities, cell phones, insurance, cable, entertainment, eating out). I couldn't do it, but admittedly, my kids are in expensive sports, and I like some creature comforts, like getting my hair professionally colored and cut, and going to pilates.


Don’t stop there! I’d LOVE to see where your 92k after housing and savings goes. Are you getting your hair colored with actual gold?


DP

It’s so easy to spend money. We make more than that and spend 60k for 2 kids in private school 10k per kid for summer camp … I could go on.

PP said her kids do travel sports - depending on the sport that’s easily over 20k, multiply that by number of kids an you can be broke even sending them to public school.


I have three kids in travel sports and we don’t spend that much.

I agree, it’s incredibly easy to spend money, but it’s also incredibly unnecessary to *waste* money the way some of you do…


Exactly. Imagine spending 20k per child on freaking travel sports and thus concluding that you cannot possibly live on 250k a year.

This is not impressive or intelligent. Nor is rejecting an otherwise great potential partner because you don't feel they make enough for all three of your hypothetical future children to do travel lacrosse. This would be stupid.


People are latching on to travel sports like it's the only difference between a $250k and $500k lifestyle. Travel sports are clearly a trigger around here.


Travel sports make sense as a "trigger" in this conversation because it's one of the best examples of a parenting expense with terrible ROI. Especially if you're doing the kind of travel sport that costs 20k/yr.

Sports are a terrific extra curricular for kids -- a way to learn dedication, perseverance, teamwork, sportsmanship, and humility while also getting exercise. But you get all that whether you spend 2k/yr or 20k/yr. If you are spending 20k/yr, what is it for? Often the extra money is going to feed a delusion of their kid getting a full ride scholarship (rare, and does not actually require a 20k/yr investment for most sports) or worse, playing professionally (a statistical anomaly, it's so rare).

Your kids can do sports competitively without spending 20k per year. In fact, if you are spending that much on a sport, you are in one of two categories: (1) you have a future pro on your hands, I wish them luck in the WTA or MLS or the NFL or whatever, or (2) you're a sucker. Look up statistics on what percent of young athletes go pro to figure out the likelihood that you are in category (1) versus category (2).


Use college instead of travel sports. If you went to Princeton and want to send your kids to Princeton, you can't date people who think only dumb people send their kids to schools that cost $90k per year. PP is not your person. The biggest takeaway, more than a number like $250k per year, is to date people whose values, goals, and priorities align with your own.


Why do you insist in conflating your (obviously) unimpressive 90K per year school with Princeton? Seriously, it just makes you sound desperate and dumb.
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