Lol the rich do NOT get richer by sending their mediocre kids to mediocre private colleges that cost 90k/yr. It may just be a waste of 400k and then your kid decides to be an instagram influencer or a pro surfer. The rich get richer by investing capital, utilizing accounting tricks, and paying as little taxes as possible. And you can do that while sending your kids to literally any school or no school at all. Putting 700k in 529s so your now-pre-teen children can attend "expensive" colleges is not a smart financial move. If you are rich enough, it won't bankrupt you, but it's not clever financial planning. It's actually just weird. The truly wealthy people I know don't even have 529s. It's for middle class people, like financing a home purchase instead of buying in cash to expedite the sale and then leveraging the house with a HELOC afterwards, like actual rich people do. |
I'm fine being called names. My kids can go to whatever school they get into and graduate without debt. That's what makes me feel good, not your validation. |
Exactly. Imagine spending 20k per child on freaking travel sports and thus concluding that you cannot possibly live on 250k a year. This is not impressive or intelligent. Nor is rejecting an otherwise great potential partner because you don't feel they make enough for all three of your hypothetical future children to do travel lacrosse. This would be stupid. |
Are there 90k/yr schools for the financially illiterate? I wish them well there. |
I mostly agree with you that you shouldn't let travel sports run your life, and you shouldn't reject a potential partner over potential travel lacrosse. I think you should make enough money to support the lifestyle you want, and it's always good advice to try to marry someone with similar ambitions, goals, and work ethic. Most young women who make over $250k marry men who make over $250k, at least that's how it played out with my law school classmates. The good news is that if you are happy with a $250k HHI, especially if you make $125k of the total, then you will have a lot more dating options than people who want more. |
Their must be, based on the amount of annual giving on top of tuition. |
People are latching on to travel sports like it's the only difference between a $250k and $500k lifestyle. Travel sports are clearly a trigger around here. |
Travel sports make sense as a "trigger" in this conversation because it's one of the best examples of a parenting expense with terrible ROI. Especially if you're doing the kind of travel sport that costs 20k/yr. Sports are a terrific extra curricular for kids -- a way to learn dedication, perseverance, teamwork, sportsmanship, and humility while also getting exercise. But you get all that whether you spend 2k/yr or 20k/yr. If you are spending 20k/yr, what is it for? Often the extra money is going to feed a delusion of their kid getting a full ride scholarship (rare, and does not actually require a 20k/yr investment for most sports) or worse, playing professionally (a statistical anomaly, it's so rare). Your kids can do sports competitively without spending 20k per year. In fact, if you are spending that much on a sport, you are in one of two categories: (1) you have a future pro on your hands, I wish them luck in the WTA or MLS or the NFL or whatever, or (2) you're a sucker. Look up statistics on what percent of young athletes go pro to figure out the likelihood that you are in category (1) versus category (2). |
Use college instead of travel sports. If you went to Princeton and want to send your kids to Princeton, you can't date people who think only dumb people send their kids to schools that cost $90k per year. PP is not your person. The biggest takeaway, more than a number like $250k per year, is to date people whose values, goals, and priorities align with your own. |
Yea, also you can’t date people who think a weekend trip down I-94 is essentially the same as visiting Pompey or Petra. On travel sports, many swimmers who stuck it out through HS get full rides into great colleges |
I mean, fundamentally I agree. But just pointing out the "expensive college" PP didn't say Princeton. She just said "expensive." I think people would respond differently if she'd said "my spouse and I went to academically demanding schools that prepared us well for our lives and we want that for our kids too." She simply noted they went to expensive schools. In a conversation about whether it's possible to live a good life on 250k, prioritizing simply going to schools that cost a lot of money, regardless of quality or value, was appropriately made fun of. If the thing you value is just spending money for its own sake, to prove you can, then people are going to roll their eyes at you. Also plenty of people value sending their kids to very good schools but don't think the way to do that is to put 30k/yr into 529s. As has been pointed out repeatedly, lots of people only fund 529s up to a certain point and then plan to use other funding sources, including cash, to pay for college (even "expensive" college). The PP was acting like 700k in 529s was a non-negotiable necessity. That was what people were making fun of. Deservedly! It reflects some financial naïveté. |
Why do you insist in conflating your (obviously) unimpressive 90K per year school with Princeton? Seriously, it just makes you sound desperate and dumb. |