How do people feel about even-trading plane seats?

[Anonymous]

I would just like to remind people that there may be reasons that parents really want to sit next to their kids and tweens. My older daughter would be totally fine sitting alone since she was like 4. My younger kid has severe anxiety and has a hard time sitting with people she doesn't know. Can she do it? Yes. But she will sit there the entire time in a nervous state and have a breakdown when we arrive at our location (and yes, she sees a therapist and is on medication).

We once got our seats switched (that we booked well in advance and paid for) and I had to beg people to switch. She was 11, so I know that most people would think she should sit by herself, but it would make it even worse for her if I had to explain to people why we needed to sit together.

Lesson of the story-- you don't know what is going on with a family, so maybe just be a decent person and switch seats if asked nicely?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to remind people that there may be reasons that parents really want to sit next to their kids and tweens. My older daughter would be totally fine sitting alone since she was like 4. My younger kid has severe anxiety and has a hard time sitting with people she doesn't know. Can she do it? Yes. But she will sit there the entire time in a nervous state and have a breakdown when we arrive at our location (and yes, she sees a therapist and is on medication).

We once got our seats switched (that we booked well in advance and paid for) and I had to beg people to switch. She was 11, so I know that most people would think she should sit by herself, but it would make it even worse for her if I had to explain to people why we needed to sit together.

Lesson of the story-- you don't know what is going on with a family, so maybe just be a decent person and switch seats if asked nicely?

If she can do it, she should do it and power through. As someone who was similar growing up - the world isn’t going to cater to you if you’re neurodivergent. The earlier you learn that and can adapt, the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to remind people that there may be reasons that parents really want to sit next to their kids and tweens. My older daughter would be totally fine sitting alone since she was like 4. My younger kid has severe anxiety and has a hard time sitting with people she doesn't know. Can she do it? Yes. But she will sit there the entire time in a nervous state and have a breakdown when we arrive at our location (and yes, she sees a therapist and is on medication).

We once got our seats switched (that we booked well in advance and paid for) and I had to beg people to switch. She was 11, so I know that most people would think she should sit by herself, but it would make it even worse for her if I had to explain to people why we needed to sit together.

Lesson of the story-- you don't know what is going on with a family, so maybe just be a decent person and switch seats if asked nicely?

If she can do it, she should do it and power through. As someone who was similar growing up - the world isn’t going to cater to you if you’re neurodivergent. The earlier you learn that and can adapt, the better.

You don't know her diagnosis, so I'll just go ahead and follow her doctor's advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to remind people that there may be reasons that parents really want to sit next to their kids and tweens. My older daughter would be totally fine sitting alone since she was like 4. My younger kid has severe anxiety and has a hard time sitting with people she doesn't know. Can she do it? Yes. But she will sit there the entire time in a nervous state and have a breakdown when we arrive at our location (and yes, she sees a therapist and is on medication).

We once got our seats switched (that we booked well in advance and paid for) and I had to beg people to switch. She was 11, so I know that most people would think she should sit by herself, but it would make it even worse for her if I had to explain to people why we needed to sit together.

Lesson of the story-- you don't know what is going on with a family, so maybe just be a decent person and switch seats if asked nicely?

If she can do it, she should do it and power through. As someone who was similar growing up - the world isn’t going to cater to you if you’re neurodivergent. The earlier you learn that and can adapt, the better.

You don't know her diagnosis, so I'll just go ahead and follow her doctor's advice.

Does her doctor write a prescription for a new seat on an airplane when things don’t go as planned? I agree with the PP, she needs to learn to deal with things, otherwise, don’t subject her to things that aren’t perfect for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last week I flew cross country and had a middle seat. A couple came and they had the aisle and window seats on either side of me. They said they book that way in hopes the middle seat is not taken. They offered to trade me the middle for the aisle and I sure as hell took them up on the offer! But otherwise, I wouldn’t trade aisle for window, not with my bladder.

I refuse to switch with the absolute A-holes who do this. They make so much harder for people who actually want to sit together to find seats together.

F—k them. I keep my middle seat every time.

Please explain? Because the math is not mathing.

Whenever i try to book a flight lately with my family, i encounter planes for which literally the only empty seats are middle seats. Therefore it is impossible for me to find even two seats together despite a willingness to pay and what (to me) is a perfectly reasonable timeline for booking flights.

Now, i understand first-come, first served and i am not complaining. It the flight happens to have been filled by a bunch of singletons or people who otherwise don’t want to sit next to someone, fine, I’ll deal.

But it makes my blood boil when people do it deliberately in effort to game the system. I repeat, F—k them. I carefully selected my middle seat out of the dozens of middle seats and I’m keeping it.

I like your attitude better than what we encountered one time: We had window-aisle and asked the middle seat occupant if they would like our aisle seat. The person said "well, I'd really prefer the window." We said no and buckled our seat belts. When we have two seats you don't get to decide which of them you're trading for.

Yes you do as you are the one trading.

Right?! You're the one attempting to initiate a trade, not the middle seat person in this story.

A middle seat is the least valuable in the row. If the person in the aisle offers you a trade, you take it or leave it - you don't ask for the window seat.

Why not? It's a negotiation started by you. If you don't like it then say no and everyone stays put.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to remind people that there may be reasons that parents really want to sit next to their kids and tweens. My older daughter would be totally fine sitting alone since she was like 4. My younger kid has severe anxiety and has a hard time sitting with people she doesn't know. Can she do it? Yes. But she will sit there the entire time in a nervous state and have a breakdown when we arrive at our location (and yes, she sees a therapist and is on medication).

We once got our seats switched (that we booked well in advance and paid for) and I had to beg people to switch. She was 11, so I know that most people would think she should sit by herself, but it would make it even worse for her if I had to explain to people why we needed to sit together.

Lesson of the story-- you don't know what is going on with a family, so maybe just be a decent person and switch seats if asked nicely?

If she's never had to do this how do you actually know how she would react? Maybe your expectations are too low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to remind people that there may be reasons that parents really want to sit next to their kids and tweens. My older daughter would be totally fine sitting alone since she was like 4. My younger kid has severe anxiety and has a hard time sitting with people she doesn't know. Can she do it? Yes. But she will sit there the entire time in a nervous state and have a breakdown when we arrive at our location (and yes, she sees a therapist and is on medication).

We once got our seats switched (that we booked well in advance and paid for) and I had to beg people to switch. She was 11, so I know that most people would think she should sit by herself, but it would make it even worse for her if I had to explain to people why we needed to sit together.

Lesson of the story-- you don't know what is going on with a family, so maybe just be a decent person and switch seats if asked nicely?

If she's never had to do this how do you actually know how she would react? Maybe your expectations are too low.

Not PP with the daughter who has anxiety, but those of you who are saying she should just power through are being pretty insensitive. Learning to tolerate something that triggers anxiety can be helpful, but an airplane seems like a terrible setting for that. You can’t get out if things go badly. Plus why should the family that paid to have their anxious child sit next to a parent have that taken away because the airline switched their seats?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to remind people that there may be reasons that parents really want to sit next to their kids and tweens. My older daughter would be totally fine sitting alone since she was like 4. My younger kid has severe anxiety and has a hard time sitting with people she doesn't know. Can she do it? Yes. But she will sit there the entire time in a nervous state and have a breakdown when we arrive at our location (and yes, she sees a therapist and is on medication).

We once got our seats switched (that we booked well in advance and paid for) and I had to beg people to switch. She was 11, so I know that most people would think she should sit by herself, but it would make it even worse for her if I had to explain to people why we needed to sit together.

Lesson of the story-- you don't know what is going on with a family, so maybe just be a decent person and switch seats if asked nicely?

If she's never had to do this how do you actually know how she would react? Maybe your expectations are too low.

Not PP with the daughter who has anxiety, but those of you who are saying she should just power through are being pretty insensitive. Learning to tolerate something that triggers anxiety can be helpful, but an airplane seems like a terrible setting for that. You can’t get out if things go badly. Plus why should the family that paid to have their anxious child sit next to a parent have that taken away because the airline switched their seats?

That's a problem for the airline and the family. Not the other passengers. If this is a horrible crippling anxiety then the family needs to rebook for the next flight that has the seats they want, cancel, or scream at the gate agent, if they don't want to prepare an 11 yr old in advance for what might happen on the plane to prepare them. I'm sure seeing your mom begging and crying with other passengers to give up their seats probably isn't going to set the daughter up for success. She'll just think she can't do it because mom doesn't think she can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to remind people that there may be reasons that parents really want to sit next to their kids and tweens. My older daughter would be totally fine sitting alone since she was like 4. My younger kid has severe anxiety and has a hard time sitting with people she doesn't know. Can she do it? Yes. But she will sit there the entire time in a nervous state and have a breakdown when we arrive at our location (and yes, she sees a therapist and is on medication).

We once got our seats switched (that we booked well in advance and paid for) and I had to beg people to switch. She was 11, so I know that most people would think she should sit by herself, but it would make it even worse for her if I had to explain to people why we needed to sit together.

Lesson of the story-- you don't know what is going on with a family, so maybe just be a decent person and switch seats if asked nicely?

Would it really be worse for her if you had to quietly explain the reason to the person rather than have your daughter fly next to a stranger? I also have an NT child and sometimes you have to explain to have a better outcome. People usually are decent when they are given a good reason for being inconvenienced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to remind people that there may be reasons that parents really want to sit next to their kids and tweens. My older daughter would be totally fine sitting alone since she was like 4. My younger kid has severe anxiety and has a hard time sitting with people she doesn't know. Can she do it? Yes. But she will sit there the entire time in a nervous state and have a breakdown when we arrive at our location (and yes, she sees a therapist and is on medication).

We once got our seats switched (that we booked well in advance and paid for) and I had to beg people to switch. She was 11, so I know that most people would think she should sit by herself, but it would make it even worse for her if I had to explain to people why we needed to sit together.

Lesson of the story-- you don't know what is going on with a family, so maybe just be a decent person and switch seats if asked nicely?

Would it really be worse for her if you had to quietly explain the reason to the person rather than have your daughter fly next to a stranger? I also have an NT child and sometimes you have to explain to have a better outcome. People usually are decent when they are given a good reason for being inconvenienced.

*ND not NT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last week I flew cross country and had a middle seat. A couple came and they had the aisle and window seats on either side of me. They said they book that way in hopes the middle seat is not taken. They offered to trade me the middle for the aisle and I sure as hell took them up on the offer! But otherwise, I wouldn’t trade aisle for window, not with my bladder.

Assert your dominance.

Say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to remind people that there may be reasons that parents really want to sit next to their kids and tweens. My older daughter would be totally fine sitting alone since she was like 4. My younger kid has severe anxiety and has a hard time sitting with people she doesn't know. Can she do it? Yes. But she will sit there the entire time in a nervous state and have a breakdown when we arrive at our location (and yes, she sees a therapist and is on medication).

We once got our seats switched (that we booked well in advance and paid for) and I had to beg people to switch. She was 11, so I know that most people would think she should sit by herself, but it would make it even worse for her if I had to explain to people why we needed to sit together.

Lesson of the story-- you don't know what is going on with a family, so maybe just be a decent person and switch seats if asked nicely?

Try paying for seats together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to remind people that there may be reasons that parents really want to sit next to their kids and tweens. My older daughter would be totally fine sitting alone since she was like 4. My younger kid has severe anxiety and has a hard time sitting with people she doesn't know. Can she do it? Yes. But she will sit there the entire time in a nervous state and have a breakdown when we arrive at our location (and yes, she sees a therapist and is on medication).

We once got our seats switched (that we booked well in advance and paid for) and I had to beg people to switch. She was 11, so I know that most people would think she should sit by herself, but it would make it even worse for her if I had to explain to people why we needed to sit together.

Lesson of the story-- you don't know what is going on with a family, so maybe just be a decent person and switch seats if asked nicely?

If she can do it, she should do it and power through. As someone who was similar growing up - the world isn’t going to cater to you if you’re neurodivergent. The earlier you learn that and can adapt, the better.

You don't know her diagnosis, so I'll just go ahead and follow her doctor's advice.

Does her doctor write a prescription for a new seat on an airplane when things don’t go as planned? I agree with the PP, she needs to learn to deal with things, otherwise, don’t subject her to things that aren’t perfect for her.

Classic case of needing to train the parents to treat the kid. Parents want to avoid a post flight meltdown so instead of welcoming the meltdown and teaching the kid to manage through it, they teach the kid avoidance so the kid never develops a mental toolkit for uncomfortable situations. Awful. Saying that as a special ed professional with a masters too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to remind people that there may be reasons that parents really want to sit next to their kids and tweens. My older daughter would be totally fine sitting alone since she was like 4. My younger kid has severe anxiety and has a hard time sitting with people she doesn't know. Can she do it? Yes. But she will sit there the entire time in a nervous state and have a breakdown when we arrive at our location (and yes, she sees a therapist and is on medication).

We once got our seats switched (that we booked well in advance and paid for) and I had to beg people to switch. She was 11, so I know that most people would think she should sit by herself, but it would make it even worse for her if I had to explain to people why we needed to sit together.

Lesson of the story-- you don't know what is going on with a family, so maybe just be a decent person and switch seats if asked nicely?

The trouble is, you don’t know the circumstances of the people you’re asking to switch. I posted earlier – one of my elderly relatives flies with a medical device. The flight attendants are aware of our row in case of an emergency. I should have to explain this to you to to justify why I, an able-bodied woman in my 30s, am not “being a decent person”?

If someone says no, their reason is as good as your reason for asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to remind people that there may be reasons that parents really want to sit next to their kids and tweens. My older daughter would be totally fine sitting alone since she was like 4. My younger kid has severe anxiety and has a hard time sitting with people she doesn't know. Can she do it? Yes. But she will sit there the entire time in a nervous state and have a breakdown when we arrive at our location (and yes, she sees a therapist and is on medication).

We once got our seats switched (that we booked well in advance and paid for) and I had to beg people to switch. She was 11, so I know that most people would think she should sit by herself, but it would make it even worse for her if I had to explain to people why we needed to sit together.

Lesson of the story-- you don't know what is going on with a family, so maybe just be a decent person and switch seats if asked nicely?

Try paying for seats together.

Try improving your reading comprehension. Seats were purchased together, and the airline switched them.