If you made $1MM annually, would you send your kids to private?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. We have done both public and private, and they are worlds apart. I wish I could afford private high school for DS - he has to go to FCPS next year, and I am literally heartbroken over it. If you haven't experienced both, then it's hard to even imagine how much better one is than the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Without exposure to socioeconomic diversity, kids grow up to be entitled and selfish. Education comes in many forms.

This is actually one reason why we went private!

There’s far more socioeconomic diversity at our private school (many kids on scholarships) vs at our previous public school where the families had to afford a million dollar plus house in order to be zoned for the school.

Similar experience here. Our public school is almost all white and middle class, and was dominated completely by a cliquish group of white evangelical Christian women who bullied everyone while talking about Jesus and Bible study. We went private, in no small part because of this incredibly oppressive atmosphere, and our private had more racial diversity as well as a strong emphasis on social justice. And needless to say, the parents were way nicer. We have to go back to public next year, and I'm not looking forward to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We chose independent school because of the excellent academics and less “bad” things (troublemaker kids even in a $$$ school zone, excessive screentime, etc.) but may go back to public because of the logistics. Having the school be 20 minutes away instead of 5 is making life complicated! I wish public schools were better…

We lived in 2 locations when a kid was in HS. Both places we lived had top public schools, so the privates are not located nearby (that tends to happen when you live in the "better areas"---no need for private for most). It would be a 45 min drive to the school. That means that majority of your friends are not nearby---they might be 45 mins in the opposite direction. So socially it would be challenging. The slight benefits that we might get at the privates for $30-50K/year do NOT outweigh the social challenges and the benefits of attending school with diversity (around us, the privates are not diverse---it's mostly rich kids and a few smart poor kids they give scholarships to, but that's less than 10%). So instead our kids attended HS with the neighborhood kids. Our daughter could walk (1/2 mile) from HS to dance if needed. Often got a ride with others from the HS until she could drive, then she drove the younger dancers from MS and HS (right next to each other with similar dismissal times). Then she'd spend 4pm-10pm at dance 4-5 days/week. Had she gone to HS that's a 45-60 min drive away, she wouldn't have had the EC that she loved, with lifelong friends from HS. She would have missed out on so much for only a slight increase in academics. In reality, graduating class of 600, and over 40 kids got into T20 schools and a few more into T20 SLACs (we are not anywhere near most of them, so less apply to those). At least 150+ kids headed to the state flagship ranked ~50. My kid is at a T40 that is a near perfect fit for her.

So instead of spending 2 hours a day in traffic (the 45 min drive is without traffic), my kid got to have an excellent academic experience along with social experience (despite covid). That is priceless and way more important than the slight bump in academics for $50K/year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We chose independent school because of the excellent academics and less “bad” things (troublemaker kids even in a $$$ school zone, excessive screentime, etc.) but may go back to public because of the logistics. Having the school be 20 minutes away instead of 5 is making life complicated! I wish public schools were better…

We lived in 2 locations when a kid was in HS. Both places we lived had top public schools, so the privates are not located nearby (that tends to happen when you live in the "better areas"---no need for private for most). It would be a 45 min drive to the school. That means that majority of your friends are not nearby---they might be 45 mins in the opposite direction. So socially it would be challenging. The slight benefits that we might get at the privates for $30-50K/year do NOT outweigh the social challenges and the benefits of attending school with diversity (around us, the privates are not diverse---it's mostly rich kids and a few smart poor kids they give scholarships to, but that's less than 10%). So instead our kids attended HS with the neighborhood kids. Our daughter could walk (1/2 mile) from HS to dance if needed. Often got a ride with others from the HS until she could drive, then she drove the younger dancers from MS and HS (right next to each other with similar dismissal times). Then she'd spend 4pm-10pm at dance 4-5 days/week. Had she gone to HS that's a 45-60 min drive away, she wouldn't have had the EC that she loved, with lifelong friends from HS. She would have missed out on so much for only a slight increase in academics. In reality, graduating class of 600, and over 40 kids got into T20 schools and a few more into T20 SLACs (we are not anywhere near most of them, so less apply to those). At least 150+ kids headed to the state flagship ranked ~50. My kid is at a T40 that is a near perfect fit for her.

So instead of spending 2 hours a day in traffic (the 45 min drive is without traffic), my kid got to have an excellent academic experience along with social experience (despite covid). That is priceless and way more important than the slight bump in academics for $50K/year

Great choice.. and totally makes sense. Private schools are not universally rated better than public schools. And absolutely, logistics, friends and social life should be as important as academics. So instead of saying, "I have $1M HHI, should I send my kids to private", think about the pros and cons holistically especially in the context of the kid you have - their learning ability, desired social and academic outcomes and how the schools fits in your overall lifestyle and financial situation.

[Anonymous]

Two kids — one attended a public (Langley) and the other one attended a private HS (Potomac). I wouldn’t say one is better than the other. It really depends on the kid. Both went to Top 20 universities. Both are excelling in the professional/corporate world. I think it has to do more with the home environment than anything else. Looking back I probably could have saved myself a ton of money and sent both to publics with the same result based on their personalities. Publics definitely have more programs for kids who don’t fit the tight range of aptitude the privates seems to cater to, ie your child is well above grade level or below. The debate between public vs private
will go on to the end of time. Just my $0.02.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two kids — one attended a public (Langley) and the other one attended a private HS (Potomac). I wouldn’t say one is better than the other. It really depends on the kid. Both went to Top 20 universities. Both are excelling in the professional/corporate world. I think it has to do more with the home environment than anything else. Looking back I probably could have saved myself a ton of money and sent both to publics with the same result based on their personalities. Publics definitely have more programs for kids who don’t fit the tight range of aptitude the privates seems to cater to, ie your child is well above grade level or below. The debate between public vs private
will go on to the end of time. Just my $0.02.

Can you tell us more about why you had two kids in different schools? Did the kid in private HS need the smaller classes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two kids — one attended a public (Langley) and the other one attended a private HS (Potomac). I wouldn’t say one is better than the other. It really depends on the kid. Both went to Top 20 universities. Both are excelling in the professional/corporate world. I think it has to do more with the home environment than anything else. Looking back I probably could have saved myself a ton of money and sent both to publics with the same result based on their personalities. Publics definitely have more programs for kids who don’t fit the tight range of aptitude the privates seems to cater to, ie your child is well above grade level or below. The debate between public vs private
will go on to the end of time. Just my $0.02.

Can you tell us more about why you had two kids in different schools? Did the kid in private HS need the smaller classes?

At the time, we thought our oldest would benefit from the smaller class sizes and we could afford it. We also had neighbors who raved about Potomac. That may have been true but looking back it was probably negligible. It really depends on the kid. Langley worked out well for our youngest. A good home environment that values work ethic and education trumps all else in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No. And we make multiples of that. But public school is an important value to us.

Similar here. Our HHI will be > 5mm this year, and we send our kids to MoCo public schools. While we aren't leading the PTO, we are regular volunteers at the school (one spouse with part time work far more than the other). It's the right community for our family, and we wouldn't change it.

While we make a lot now, one of us grew up poor/lower middle class, the other middle-middle class. MoCo public schools suit us well. Yes, not everything is absolutely "perfect." In our view, that is sort of the point--we think our kids learn a bit more resilience when not everything is always perfect.

I will admit though that one high-earning spouse's income provides an advantage that helps make public schools work for us: The spouse who works part-time is *super* involved with kids' homework, enrichment, etc. We joke that our kids have 100% of MoCo public plus 50% home school on top.

We have a $2.5m HHI and also send our kids to public. DH and I both grew up in middle class families so we also valued sending our kids to public. Now that our kids are getting older, I’m wondering if we should switch our kids to private for a better educational experience.

I wonder if my poor background has clouded my judgment on what is best for our kids. I drive myself and DH crazy thinking about where to send our 3 kids.

I was similar but, we switched out kids this year. I’m telling you to switch. Break out of your upbringing and give your kids the leg up.

If PP’s kids are settled and happy in their public then there is no reason to switch

- Parent of K-12 lifers

+1000

Not sure it's really the leg up that the PP thinks it is. My kids got excellent educations at our local Public schools. One thru college and excelling at adulting. The other in college and thriving at a T30 school. Academically motivated and smart kid---private HS would not have done anything more than ensure they were at school with rich kids and kids who don't live in our neighborhood (ie they'd have to drive 30-45 mins to see friends, so isolated from their friends).

You don’t know what you don’t know.

I’ve never been to public school ..prek through college in privates.. but my wife was public her whole life.

The career trajectory of my friends is exponentially better than her friends. Sure there are outliers but like minds attract. People that drop 45k+ a year on 3rd grade will raise kids to be successful (financially or academically). I don’t know a single kid from my graduating private that isn’t doing something fairly impressive.

By 30, most have made the leap to VP, Sr. Manager, entrepreneur, director, attorney, dr, etc.

Born on home plate and staying there. So?

+1

Same people who likely think attending an "elite" college gives their kid a huge advantage as well. All while not realizing it's the home environment and the attitudes instilled by the family that provide this drive, connections, etc. Their kid will do well no matter where they attend K-12 or undergrad.

I was PP. I think elite colleges are a total waste of money. My kids will go to MD for college but private k-12.

Private secondary school gives you a far greater knowledge base and skill sets than some overpriced NESCAC school. I went to an "elite" college and it was easier than my prep school.

So you would happily pay 50k+ per year for private school from k-12 but then insist that your high performing child attend UMD even if accepted to Harvard/Princeton/Yale? Firstly I’m calling BS but in the event you’re not a troll enjoy having your adult child rightfully resent you for the rest of their life.

I am PP. Absolutely. Maryland is a fantastic school.

Why would my kid resent me? He'll have a huge leg up attending MD. We plan on providing him a sizeable graduation gift due to the massive cost savings.

We could give him $100-150k upon his graduation from MD and we would have still saved a ton of money. What will help your kid out more? Liquidity, no debt and a fantastic local network thanks to his prep school years, or an overpriced degree from Hobart?

[Anonymous]

We make about that (and have a hefty mortgage) and of course. It's not even a question. Our kids have blossomed in private school. I don't think of it as an ROI - I think of it as what is best for my kids.

[Anonymous]

The thing with making $1M a year is that it is often non stable. In theory I will make about $1M this year, but I don't actually get about half of that money until I get my bonus and my stock vests a few years from now. So what I am living on is less than half that. And I could be laid off at any time. So I keep my kids in public schools, which tutoring and enrichment and a lot of parental involvement.

I am also worried about where society is headed with all this inequality and AI and part of me thinks the best thing I can do is just bank a ton of money for my kids that they can have starting in their mid-30s. I take the $90K that I would otherwise spend on private school plus my bonuses and save it for them.

If one of them had special needs or wasn't doing well in public I would switch to private but that is not the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing with making $1M a year is that it is often non stable. In theory I will make about $1M this year, but I don't actually get about half of that money until I get my bonus and my stock vests a few years from now. So what I am living on is less than half that. And I could be laid off at any time. So I keep my kids in public schools, which tutoring and enrichment and a lot of parental involvement.

I am also worried about where society is headed with all this inequality and AI and part of me thinks the best thing I can do is just bank a ton of money for my kids that they can have starting in their mid-30s. I take the $90K that I would otherwise spend on private school plus my bonuses and save it for them.

If one of them had special needs or wasn't doing well in public I would switch to private but that is not the case.

This 10000%. We make what will be $700K this year but I agree with PP. Money is often fleeting and my income this year may not be the same as next year. Plus, private school tuition is a helluva burden. Getting laid off, losing a large client, a health scare, or having any other unforeseen circumstance can completely change your circumstances. Most people do not account for the unknown. I don't want to be saddled with the stress of private so have opted for public. We are relieved and feel less pressured. We can also withstand any hits to our income should we hit a rough patch.

And agreed on the job market in 20+ years. God knows what opportunities there will be then. In the meantime, I'm going to save for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Hello this is the OP. Following up after thinking further about public v. private.

Everyone seems to agree that it depends on the particular kid. My particular kid is very good at a specific sport. His coach approached us and suggested a few private schools where he believes my kid will get training that could lead him to be a college player in his sport. Private wasn’t on our radar, even though we’ve been blessed with great income recently, because we live in a good public school district and because my spouse is very much a penny-pincher who gets anxious about spending.

After doing the initial research, I am coming to the conclusion that I think my kid could get a great education no matter what route he goes. I love the idea of him getting more attention in the smaller classes of the private school setting. But the private schools we are considering are all boys, and I think there could be social benefits of staying public (staying with neighborhood friends, exposure to girls that he may have feelings for, etc). Bottom line is that he could be successful socially and academically at either school and i cannot really predict it either way; so far it’s not an obvious choice.

However, I recently took him to watch two games for the sport he plays. The private school clearly had better facilities, better coaching and better players. The vibe at the games felt like I was at a country club. In contrast, the public school game was much less polished and the level of play wasn’t as good, but the crowd was so much more fun and lively. It felt like a true American experience you could get anywhere in the country and not like high society, and I loved that. Not sure I want him to miss those experiences.

Ultimately, we will go through this process and see what happens, but I do think he has a much greater chance of playing his sport in college if he goes private. But I honestly don’t care that much whether he plays his sport in college; I care much more that he has academic success and is a well rounded individual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing with making $1M a year is that it is often non stable. In theory I will make about $1M this year, but I don't actually get about half of that money until I get my bonus and my stock vests a few years from now. So what I am living on is less than half that. And I could be laid off at any time. So I keep my kids in public schools, which tutoring and enrichment and a lot of parental involvement.

I am also worried about where society is headed with all this inequality and AI and part of me thinks the best thing I can do is just bank a ton of money for my kids that they can have starting in their mid-30s. I take the $90K that I would otherwise spend on private school plus my bonuses and save it for them.

If one of them had special needs or wasn't doing well in public I would switch to private but that is not the case.

+1000

Unless your kids have a real need for private school (is struggling in public), your kids will come out much further ahead with this plan. Match your kid's Roth IRA and 401K contributions from time they start working until age30. They will likely be set to have $2M+ at retirement just from that (possibly more). Help them with their first home downpayment Much more beneficial long term than $45K/year for tuition in MS/HS. Smart kids will do well no matter where they go to HS and the largest impact is the HOME environment for education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello this is the OP. Following up after thinking further about public v. private.

Everyone seems to agree that it depends on the particular kid. My particular kid is very good at a specific sport. His coach approached us and suggested a few private schools where he believes my kid will get training that could lead him to be a college player in his sport. Private wasn’t on our radar, even though we’ve been blessed with great income recently, because we live in a good public school district and because my spouse is very much a penny-pincher who gets anxious about spending.

After doing the initial research, I am coming to the conclusion that I think my kid could get a great education no matter what route he goes. I love the idea of him getting more attention in the smaller classes of the private school setting. But the private schools we are considering are all boys, and I think there could be social benefits of staying public (staying with neighborhood friends, exposure to girls that he may have feelings for, etc). Bottom line is that he could be successful socially and academically at either school and i cannot really predict it either way; so far it’s not an obvious choice.

However, I recently took him to watch two games for the sport he plays. The private school clearly had better facilities, better coaching and better players. The vibe at the games felt like I was at a country club. In contrast, the public school game was much less polished and the level of play wasn’t as good, but the crowd was so much more fun and lively. It felt like a true American experience you could get anywhere in the country and not like high society, and I loved that. Not sure I want him to miss those experiences.

Ultimately, we will go through this process and see what happens, but I do think he has a much greater chance of playing his sport in college if he goes private. But I honestly don’t care that much whether he plays his sport in college; I care much more that he has academic success and is a well rounded individual.

Remember that ultimately, majority of kids who play elite sports in HS do NOT go on to play in college. many spend spend spend with the hope/promises that their kid has the talent and do x, y, z and we can get them there. But ultimately it doesn't work out for most. Or the kid gets it for a 2nd tiered sport (not Football/basketball) and realizes that they don't want to spend 20+ hours per week in college on a sport---there is not time for studying, the sport and a social life so something has to give (and hopefully it's not the studying).

So I wouldn't spend all that money just in hopes of your kid getting to college level sports unless your kid is really really certain they want this.
There is something to be said for having fun in HS and being exposed to a variety of people and not just some wealthy enclave of friends.

[Anonymous]

This isn't even a humblebrag post, it's a flat out brag post.