Sidwell prom

[Anonymous]

Why do you think it is a tiny group? The pp former parent who just posted appears to be entirely reasonable, and not pre-disposed to having an axe to grind. In fact, pp stated that they still make an annual fund donation to the school that another one of their children attended and graduated from. That’s hardly the mark of a parent who wants to find fault with their kid’s school.

So perhaps there is in fact something about Sidwell that turns off many parents. And it’s not about those parents being petty or insecure. Maybe they just see it differently than you do. And it appears that there are many more of them who see things that way than you continue to insist.

Do you appreciate that you introduce the most confrontational aspects into these entire discussions? You continue to insist that parents who dare to critique or find fault are some sort of tiny minority who are unreasonable and insecure and must have an axe to grind. Those assertions sound quite conspiratorial and delusional to me.

[Anonymous]

I thought the PP who’s alum graduated on p 10 was very reasonable. I don’t think that PP is the OP or OPs of any of these threads

Why are OPs likely the same person or a tiny group?

Motivation and persistence. Because very few people with productive lives come to the forum to start threads over and over again about the issues they never bring up in any type of appropriate forum.

Basic level of thought and pattern of language. Because the name-calling using the same terms and an inability to make a cogent argument without some very awkward sentence structures that repeat between threads betrays the same poster or two over and over again

Finally, it would be very sad to think that the thought process and lack of any self-reflection and humility evidenced, as well as the contempt freely heaped upon the shared values of the community you willingly signed up for, is shared by more than just a few who live in an echo-chamber.

During the pandemic, it also turned out that there was a largely shared set of fringe political beliefs which are not otherwise broadly represented in our community.

[Anonymous]

Glass houses, PP.

[Anonymous]

You proved my case again. Honestly, this horse needn’t be further flogged. Name calling and uncogent arguments have no effect on me.

It sadly telegraphs as someone who’s living out some frustration from being unpopular at school and projecting. I’ve never had that experience myself so it’s possible I have a blind spot when it comes to a lack of understanding for immature and petty behaviors by someone who by all accounts should be thankful for their privilege

Wishing you all the best and a bit of introspection

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought the PP who’s alum graduated on p 10 was very reasonable. I don’t think that PP is the OP or OPs of any of these threads

Why are OPs likely the same person or a tiny group?

Motivation and persistence. Because very few people with productive lives come to the forum to start threads over and over again about the issues they never bring up in any type of appropriate forum.

Basic level of thought and pattern of language. Because the name-calling using the same terms and an inability to make a cogent argument without some very awkward sentence structures that repeat between threads betrays the same poster or two over and over again

Finally, it would be very sad to think that the thought process and lack of any self-reflection and humility evidenced, as well as the contempt freely heaped upon the shared values of the community you willingly signed up for, is shared by more than just a few who live in an echo-chamber.

During the pandemic, it also turned out that there was a largely shared set of fringe political beliefs which are not otherwise broadly represented in our community.

I’m not the OP of any of these threads either. So perhaps you should reassess your views about your supposed tiny group. Also, you should ask around about whether Sidwell’s HoS and his family exhibited the values to which you refer at the school his children attended, when it was the object of criticism from some parents.

[Anonymous]

How’s that material to any of these discussions?

This so called large group should absolutely speak up about any issues. Please do — there are plenty of appropriate opportunities.

But even when there was a significant effort to survey and solicit these opinions, that went beyond speaking up in many gatherings, the chosen methods were dcum (not prohibited, but the overuse and insulting language are a turn off) and an anonymous petition (like there is such a thing)

Our children in contrast signed their names bravely to the students’ much better argued and polite petition with our full support

I have nothing to hide and no ill-will, but would like to see us all do better given our immense privileges. If you tell me OPs are just venting after a glass of wine, I can understand that. But don’t tar the whole community and your DCs excellent education in the process

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Prom at school is fine, but they are doing it inside "on the track" above the gym---this is not the nice set up for Night For Scholars, it is literally on the track. pretty lame.

It would be on the main floor. Like the auction.

[Anonymous]

I am willing to bet that this won't even be a minor topic raised at any future parent-administration gatherings. That is how tiny this is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought the PP who’s alum graduated on p 10 was very reasonable. I don’t think that PP is the OP or OPs of any of these threads

Why are OPs likely the same person or a tiny group?

* * *

Finally, it would be very sad to think that the thought process and lack of any self-reflection and humility evidenced, as well as the contempt freely heaped upon the shared values of the community you willingly signed up for, is shared by more than just a few who live in an echo-chamber.

* * *

Thou shalt not commit logical fallacies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How’s that material to any of these discussions?

This so called large group should absolutely speak up about any issues. Please do — there are plenty of appropriate opportunities.

But even when there was a significant effort to survey and solicit these opinions, that went beyond speaking up in many gatherings, the chosen methods were dcum (not prohibited, but the overuse and insulting language are a turn off) and an anonymous petition (like there is such a thing)

Our children in contrast signed their names bravely to the students’ much better argued and polite petition with our full support

I have nothing to hide and no ill-will, but would like to see us all do better given our immense privileges. If you tell me OPs are just venting after a glass of wine, I can understand that. But don’t tar the whole community and your DCs excellent education in the process

I don’t even care about the prom’s location and have not once criticized the school about it in the context of this discussion.

I’m just tired of the very small minority of parents, such as you, who think they have the right to try to shut down any critique of the school and castigate commenters on here as somehow “unreasonable” (your word) and having an irrational axe to grind borne of insecurity, simply because they are critical of ways that the school is run. It appears that you want to pretend publicly that it is the most amazingly well-run school that is beyond criticism, and you think that to do otherwise would “tar our DCs excellent education in the process” as if the school is some sort of secret community about which criticism must not be aired. But you should consider whether the fact that people are commenting here might be demonstrative of their frustration and their view that the school’s administration does not listen when those “appropriate opportunities” arise.

[Anonymous]

This argument always crops up in these threads. But it’s circular — I won’t speak up because I won’t be heard and if I’m heard they won’t do as I please and I pay tuition

People can hold any opinions they wish. I do think the name-calling, the general hostility, etc., give a wrong impression of us parents (there are many comments on this) because of a few people who can’t bring themselves to be civil

My point isn’t don’t say anything outside our community. It’s if you do, give it some thought and be civil. But that’s consistently not happened. So as you were, but without me

Just one parting thought, how come you’re not tired of these people thinking that calling someone a teacher is fair to be weaponized in a trite discussion or tired of the fact that the type of language consistently used by one side can and does reflect poorly?

[Anonymous]

All I know is, I have been a parent for more than a decade at this school. I see threads like this all the time, and then I go to the parent coffees and other gatherings, and the issues raised here are uniformly never raised with the administration. I guess it is easy to lob grenades behind the cloak of anonmity.

[Anonymous]

Same exact experience

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t escape the conclusion that these anti-admin SFS threads are too stupid for me to understand. With all the good grace, I tried, but the only explanation seems to be that the OPs of these threads are petty, insecure and grinding some sort of personal axe over and over again

Giving them any more air is counterproductive. Disagree with this tiny group at your peril — you’ll get called a liberal, basement-dweller, teacher, administrator or starry eyed. That right there says far more about the OP & Co than a reasonable parent or an independent observer ever could

You stirred the pot with this post at 13:30 today. People were talking substantively about the school, and then you took it upon yourself to describe people who might be critical of the school as “petty, insecure and grinding some sort of personal axe over and over again.” You should engage in some introspection and take some personal responsibility for your ad hominem attacks that stir things up.

[Anonymous]

Sure. We all will when the insults stop. Also when the discourse is civil. And finally when I’m reassured there isn’t some politics mixed in — there was a lot of love for Amy, Brett, and dare I say, Trumpism, during the same type of discussions in 2020. So, I don’t like how it reflect upon us

You could say those are different people but the language and the arguments repeat. “Crazy”, “basement dweller”, “lazy mother”, “teacher”, “administrator”, “simple room” (attack on Quaker values). Shameful in my opinion.

For me, this isn’t about the prom either. Happy either way. Would let the students have a say. But for me it is about the discourse. You can’t say, this is a new thread, and you calling us out on the quality of discourse is what derailed it. Not what happened. But I take your point. Will leave you to it since it’s not going to help. I naively thought this might stop and become a better, more respectful conversation. There was a blissful break after one of the OPs was kicked off after making fun of a racially motivated tragedy.

So I’m guilty of not wanting to see this type of discourse because I’ve never seen it at the school and it’s not reflective of who I and many others think we are, someone younger might even say it’s triggering to see these threads, which pop up with such regularity. They never do quite like that for other schools. And they historically never used to for us. Nothing changed at the school, so maybe it’s a couple of people at the school who cannot be satisfied?