Candy as a reward for good behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you raise one lollipop during your second week at a school, you will be That Mom.

And PTAs don’t get involved in telling teachers how to teach. Or they shouldn’t, anyway.

This is not really "telling teachers how to teach..."

[Anonymous]

My kids teachers put candy on their desk if they keep it clean. I know some other parents are really struggling with this because their 8 year olds already have cavities so sucking on a Starburst a few times a week can do damage. I feel for them.

Teachers, please consider that many kids don't do well with the food dyes and parents would like to be the ones to sometimes give their kids treats, but we never can if you're constantly plying them with junk.

Also, consider that candy being a reward is a bad idea in general. We try to train our kids that food is food, neither good nor bad, but it does different things in our bodies. I "treat" my kids to outings, trinkets, experiences, etc. as much as possible before making it sweets. It sets up really bad associations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids teachers put candy on their desk if they keep it clean. I know some other parents are really struggling with this because their 8 year olds already have cavities so sucking on a Starburst a few times a week can do damage. I feel for them.

Teachers, please consider that many kids don't do well with the food dyes and parents would like to be the ones to sometimes give their kids treats, but we never can if you're constantly plying them with junk.

Also, consider that candy being a reward is a bad idea in general. We try to train our kids that food is food, neither good nor bad, but it does different things in our bodies. I "treat" my kids to outings, trinkets, experiences, etc. as much as possible before making it sweets. It sets up really bad associations.

Unclench, mama.

You don't actually believe what you say. Food is more than food, "neither good nor bad." You go to fancy restaurants sometimes, don't you? If it were neither good nor bad, you could save all that money, stay home, and eat kidney beans and spinach powder.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I am fully unclenched. I don't care if my child has sweets. I am glad that the kids brought the sweets home and did not have them at school - which then gives the parents more control if they want to give them or not - mine ate hers. I am more curious is this is common in MCPS so I know what to expect. I honestly would prefer if rewards were not candy and/or associated with good behavior but I understand why some teachers use it as a method.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids teachers put candy on their desk if they keep it clean. I know some other parents are really struggling with this because their 8 year olds already have cavities so sucking on a Starburst a few times a week can do damage. I feel for them.

Teachers, please consider that many kids don't do well with the food dyes and parents would like to be the ones to sometimes give their kids treats, but we never can if you're constantly plying them with junk.

Also, consider that candy being a reward is a bad idea in general. We try to train our kids that food is food, neither good nor bad, but it does different things in our bodies. I "treat" my kids to outings, trinkets, experiences, etc. as much as possible before making it sweets. It sets up really bad associations.

Unclench, mama.

You don't actually believe what you say. Food is more than food, "neither good nor bad." You go to fancy restaurants sometimes, don't you? If it were neither good nor bad, you could save all that money, stay home, and eat kidney beans and spinach powder.

What I mean is that I don't want candy to be naughty or broccoli to be good. I don't want it to be a moral judgment.

This "unclench" trope is played out and lame. My BFF's kid actually had teeth pulled because of cavities and his teacher gives him tootsie rolls. That's not a teacher's place to feed kids. WTF.

[Anonymous]

So far rewards in my kid's K class have been the kind of small, inexpensive toys you get at the dentist's office, like a small glider plane kit. No candy yet...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids teachers put candy on their desk if they keep it clean. I know some other parents are really struggling with this because their 8 year olds already have cavities so sucking on a Starburst a few times a week can do damage. I feel for them.

Teachers, please consider that many kids don't do well with the food dyes and parents would like to be the ones to sometimes give their kids treats, but we never can if you're constantly plying them with junk.

Also, consider that candy being a reward is a bad idea in general. We try to train our kids that food is food, neither good nor bad, but it does different things in our bodies. I "treat" my kids to outings, trinkets, experiences, etc. as much as possible before making it sweets. It sets up really bad associations.

Unclench, mama.

You don't actually believe what you say. Food is more than food, "neither good nor bad." You go to fancy restaurants sometimes, don't you? If it were neither good nor bad, you could save all that money, stay home, and eat kidney beans and spinach powder.

What an awful, unhelpful response.

Please do raise it with your PTAs: they can speak to the principal about it, who can mention it to the teachers. It can be done and changed. You need a good PTA, though. It would also be helpful if you would suggest things that you find okay for kids to get as reward, instead of candy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to elementary school. I agree that this is not ideal, but it is definitely what we have experienced in elementary. I doubt the teacher will give it every class, so maybe it was just an introductory way to make them feel like music was a fun class and they might sometimes get candy. More common I think is for your kid's classroom teacher to give them points for following the rules and then allowing them to use their points to "buy" some kind of reward - either as a class or as individuals.

Setting aside whether it's good for a teacher to give out candy, many kids have allergies or can't eat certain foods. In addition to the more common peanut/nut allergies, there are many other allergies and medical elementary-aged students shouldn't be given food their parents didn't approve. In our family, we have one child who is lactose intolerant and another who has a blood glucose regulation problem (similar to diabetes). Plus, there are students who don't eat particular foods for religious reasons. Children this age are sensitive, and shouldn't be excluded because they can't eat a particular for medical or religious reasons. It's best just to avoid the entire issue and give non-food prizes like stickers.

[Anonymous]

Wait until middle school. Teachers give out candy prolifically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids teachers put candy on their desk if they keep it clean. I know some other parents are really struggling with this because their 8 year olds already have cavities so sucking on a Starburst a few times a week can do damage. I feel for them.

Teachers, please consider that many kids don't do well with the food dyes and parents would like to be the ones to sometimes give their kids treats, but we never can if you're constantly plying them with junk.

Also, consider that candy being a reward is a bad idea in general. We try to train our kids that food is food, neither good nor bad, but it does different things in our bodies. I "treat" my kids to outings, trinkets, experiences, etc. as much as possible before making it sweets. It sets up really bad associations.

Unclench, mama.

You don't actually believe what you say. Food is more than food, "neither good nor bad." You go to fancy restaurants sometimes, don't you? If it were neither good nor bad, you could save all that money, stay home, and eat kidney beans and spinach powder.

What an awful, unhelpful response.

Please do raise it with your PTAs: they can speak to the principal about it, who can mention it to the teachers. It can be done and changed. You need a good PTA, though. It would also be helpful if you would suggest things that you find okay for kids to get as reward, instead of candy.

You can also just go straight to the teacher and/or principal and express your concerns yourself. You can take it to the PTA but unless giving out candy is strictly forbidden by the school/county, they aren't able to just make it stop. These are the kinds of issues that will likely need to be voted upon (as you are going to have just as many parents who are not against it) and if you get a majority, it will have to be advocated for, rules will have to change, etc. I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't bring it up--I'm just saying that as a former PTA president, there are a lot of new parents who think the PTA can just have the rules changed and that's not true at all. PTA is still a democracy and if you want the rules to change, YOU need to be willing to put in the work to make it happen.

[Anonymous]

It annoyed me too OP. K don’t think candy should be given as a reward. I never said anything tho because like PP said, we have to pick our battles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait until middle school. Teachers give out candy prolifically.

And they can just buy it on their own.

OMG, some of these mommies just about fainted.

[Anonymous]

Some teachers are like that. Its frustrating as we don't do a lot of candy and when we do its rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Raise it at the PTA meeting. It can be suggested to teachers to use other incentives and not sweets. We did that in our school, little by little it becomes accepted.

Yeah our DC’s teacher has a “treasure chest” with small things they can earn, like bouncy balls, stickers, etc. Seems reasonable.

Yea give them literal garbage plastic that will go into the landfill the next day. If you have time to be upset about this I’m going to assume that you are perfectly satisfied with literally everything else the school is doing. You pleased with the math curriculum? Do you know anything about it? How about reading and PE? If you want your children to only be exposed to the things you want them to be exposed to then public school is not the place for you. Wait until they start teaching them about ideas and history.

[Anonymous]

As a parent (who is against the idea of kids receiving candy as a reward) and as a teacher (who is dealing with students coming to school this year with SO MANY different experiences they have had over the past 18 months), it is a fine line to balance creating an incentive (that works!) and being health conscious.

Let me tell you - teachers this year are EXHAUSTED, way more than last year (just today at my elem school, we had over 7 teachers out and there are NO SUBS available, so teachers are being asked to cover other classes and also missing part of their planning time from specials teachers being out), so my advice to parents is to please reach out to the teacher about this issue. If financially possible, please offer to provide trinket toys (small animal erasers, happy meal toys, squishes, fun pencils, sticker sheets, small toy cars, and even things like unwanted costume jewelry or cool small geodes are always well received) so teachers have this available to offer to students as an incentive. Along with helping incentivize students who are working on self control with behavior or other issues, I also make it a point to reward students who consistently do the right thing.

Also, keep in mind the difference between teachers giving out candy daily (it would drive me crazy to see teachers who do this!) and teachers who only give out candy occasionally. If it’s daily, I would still email the teacher in a friendly way but would also cc the VP. Giving out candy daily is an indication the teacher may need some additional support with management.

Yes, I believe that students need to have / develop that intrinsic motivation to do the right thing without receiving candy or a small trinket but we are in survival mode right now!