How often does a typical kid end up in the office? What for?

[Anonymous]

I didn’t even think this was a thing anymore.

[Anonymous]

A few years ago I volunteered in the front office at my kid's middle school--once a week for about 3 hours. Typically there would be 2 or 3 kids "sent to the principals office" during that 3 hour period...and I'd often see the same kids over and over.
This was a school with about 1350 kids grades 6-8.

[Anonymous]

Mine are in 5th and 3rd. The 3rd grader, never. The 5th grader was sent to the office 2-3 times but never to the point where I had to go get them. I always found out about it after the fact. It was never anything serious--just typical silly boy behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of mine - never.

The other one - all the time.

Same. I still have ptsd about seeing the school number on my phone due to my oldest.

My middle kid said that despite all the excitement, the middle school teachers really liked my eldest because he was entertaining. Very naughty, but entertaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of mine - never.

The other one - all the time.

Same. I still have ptsd about seeing the school number on my phone due to my oldest.

My middle kid said that despite all the excitement, the middle school teachers really liked my eldest because he was entertaining. Very naughty, but entertaining.

😘🥲🤗

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 4 kids. Oldest in college, youngest in middle school. From my observation. "Most" kids never end up in the principal's office. A small percentage of kids end up in the office a couple of times and the consequences work and they clean up their act and don't end up there again. An even smaller percent of kids are there often. One of our kids has an IEP for anxiety and we have had a LOT of visits to the office. During one meeting with the VP the very kind and patient Vice Principal told us that he spends 10% of his time with 90% of the students and 90% of his time with 10% of the students. Of that 10% about half are there because they caused a problem and half are there because they suffered the problem. We have had 2 kids who fall in the "never" group, 1 that fell into the 2x in the office in middle school and one that is in the office often.

I forgot to answer the question about how we handle it. We back up the school 100% on consequences. If our kid caused a problem at school they get whatever the school punishment is plus something at home. Typically the consequence at home is a loss of screens plus a written apology to the teacher. The written apology helps us determine if the child actually understood why they got in trouble.

Thanks. How do you handle the emotional toll it takes on you, if it influences you?

[Anonymous]

Never? Once for something dumb?

[Anonymous]

I have worked many years in an elementary school. It is typical that teachers or counselors handle most issues but some kids do end up talking to the principal or assistant principal. The vast majority never do. Some kids, a lot.

I would say a trip to the principal's office would likely also be for behavior in a non-classroom setting, like the cafeteria, playground, hallway, etc. Fighting, hurting another student, refusal to comply with a staff person, destruction of property, stuff like that. That could be a frequent flyer or any random kid who had an episode.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids- never. Well behaved and respectful. (we have gotten it home about too much talking). A kid in one of their classes often goes. It’s usually the kids with poor impulse control. They refuse to follow the rules, disrespectful to the teacher, spit, kick kids, use profanity, etc.

Teacher here. This is correct. My own son, who was later diagnosed with ADHD, was sent to the office fairly frequently in kindergarten due to poor impulse control. The principal knew him well by November. Once he was diagnosed in 3rd grade and started taking medication, he never went to the principal's office. In fact, his teachers couldn't believe he ever had behavior issues.

Some of my former kindergarteners who spend time in the office are later diagnosed with ADHD. The rest just grow up and grow out of the impulsivity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids- never. Well behaved and respectful. (we have gotten it home about too much talking). A kid in one of their classes often goes. It’s usually the kids with poor impulse control. They refuse to follow the rules, disrespectful to the teacher, spit, kick kids, use profanity, etc.

Teacher here. This is correct. My own son, who was later diagnosed with ADHD, was sent to the office fairly frequently in kindergarten due to poor impulse control. The principal knew him well by November. Once he was diagnosed in 3rd grade and started taking medication, he never went to the principal's office. In fact, his teachers couldn't believe he ever had behavior issues.

Some of my former kindergarteners who spend time in the office are later diagnosed with ADHD. The rest just grow up and grow out of the impulsivity.

Do you recommend the pills or the growing out of it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids- never. Well behaved and respectful. (we have gotten it home about too much talking). A kid in one of their classes often goes. It’s usually the kids with poor impulse control. They refuse to follow the rules, disrespectful to the teacher, spit, kick kids, use profanity, etc.

Teacher here. This is correct. My own son, who was later diagnosed with ADHD, was sent to the office fairly frequently in kindergarten due to poor impulse control. The principal knew him well by November. Once he was diagnosed in 3rd grade and started taking medication, he never went to the principal's office. In fact, his teachers couldn't believe he ever had behavior issues.

Some of my former kindergarteners who spend time in the office are later diagnosed with ADHD. The rest just grow up and grow out of the impulsivity.

Do you recommend the pills or the growing out of it?

It depends on the child. Some have ADHD, some don't. There's a reason that schools don't typically authorize testing until second or third grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids- never. Well behaved and respectful. (we have gotten it home about too much talking). A kid in one of their classes often goes. It’s usually the kids with poor impulse control. They refuse to follow the rules, disrespectful to the teacher, spit, kick kids, use profanity, etc.

How do you manage to raise such well behaved kids? Not a sarcastic question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids- never. Well behaved and respectful. (we have gotten it home about too much talking). A kid in one of their classes often goes. It’s usually the kids with poor impulse control. They refuse to follow the rules, disrespectful to the teacher, spit, kick kids, use profanity, etc.

How do you manage to raise such well behaved kids? Not a sarcastic question.

How? She makes sure they have good impulse control.

[Anonymous]

My oldest just finished 12th grade last spring. She had to go to the office in elementary school once when I was stuck on a train underground and was late picking her up. And she got called out to the office once in middle school when police went to see her to follow up on a kidnapping attempt that had happened on the way from school to the bus stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids- never. Well behaved and respectful. (we have gotten it home about too much talking). A kid in one of their classes often goes. It’s usually the kids with poor impulse control. They refuse to follow the rules, disrespectful to the teacher, spit, kick kids, use profanity, etc.

How do you manage to raise such well behaved kids? Not a sarcastic question.

How? She makes sure they have good impulse control.

Thank you. That is such an insightful answer.