Propose Now or Delay It?

[Anonymous]

There are so many things out of your control, who knows when you will be able to reschedule the vacation, when it will be safe to have big weddings again, or really what things will be like 3 years from now. But you can make the decision to propose now. Assuming she accepts you can start living your life as an engaged couple right away since you know this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with through life’s ups and downs. Since you were planning a vacation proposal, I’m guessing you wanted some of the romance and being a great proposal story to tell, but you can still do that locally by putting thought and effort into making it special for the two of you. Some of the other posters had great suggestions with a local winery, the monuments, or someplace with dating significance to the both of you.

[Anonymous]

I’m with everyone else - do it op! No time like the present and this pandemic has shown that waiting doesn’t guarantee anything so we all have to keep continuing on with our lives doing our best. I think anyone who is waiting to move forward with their lives will regret it later because this will be up and down for a little

[Anonymous]

My DH decided the morning of to propose. He spontaneously took me to the best restaurants in town then we walked to an oceanfront park where he proposed.

[Anonymous]

Do it. Delay can look like you don't care enough. You cam delay the wedding until big gatherings and travel are safer, but the proposal is between you two, and the good feelings from engagement can make this time brighter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just ask her! I’m not a fan of the “make it a big event” fad.

This, and she will be expecting it less. More of a surprise. Congrats!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just ask her! I’m not a fan of the “make it a big event” fad.

+1
We just saw someone propose by the waterfront and it was so cringey and overdone w/ a violinist, videographer and photographer. The woman looked so uncomfortable and it took all the intimacy out of it

[Anonymous]

This the woman you want to marry. What would she want? Something flashy or more intimate? A vacation or a simple ask while taking a hike?


My only opinion is don't wait for COVID to end whatever you decide, COVID will be with us for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ask her! I’m not a fan of the “make it a big event” fad.

This, and she will be expecting it less. More of a surprise. Congrats!

I think both are a bit silly. You have already talked and agreed on marriage , you are engaged, wear rings if you wish. No need for an ask be it private or public.

[Anonymous]

I had always envisioned getting engaged in nature - maybe a bridge or a field - but instead he hid the ring by the bed, made me breakfast in the morning, and asked in my condo while I was still in my pjs. That was lovely too, and I was glad it finally happened after we’d waited awhile. I suspect most women would rather be engaged sooner than wait for something fancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ask her! I’m not a fan of the “make it a big event” fad.

This, and she will be expecting it less. More of a surprise. Congrats!

I think both are a bit silly. You have already talked and agreed on marriage , you are engaged, wear rings if you wish. No need for an ask be it private or public.

Some people enjoy a bit of ceremony, Grumpy Gladys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ask her! I’m not a fan of the “make it a big event” fad.

This, and she will be expecting it less. More of a surprise. Congrats!

I think both are a bit silly. You have already talked and agreed on marriage , you are engaged, wear rings if you wish. No need for an ask be it private or public.

Some people enjoy a bit of ceremony, Grumpy Gladys.

Yep. Everybody is different. Figure out what YOUR girlfriend would like, OP, and do that.

[Anonymous]

Propose now, op. No woman that’s ever wanted to marry a guy would say no if you asked sooner. If she’s the sort that would only say yes after a lavish weekend then you need to know that now.

My husband points out that the two of you need to be at the same level of covid caution. When I read your op, I had the impression that you were the dad planning a trip for the kids then deciding to cancel. It didn’t set well with me because you assume your girlfriend wants the trip, you assume her schedule is clear and what would be the plan for her to gracefully leave if she said no to your proposal? I’m not saying you’re a bad guy, just that you are marrying a woman not parenting a child. If you want a relationship where you surprise her with things, the two of you need to set that up. What if she’d planned to do something that weekend and hadn’t told you? What if she didn’t feel the trip was safe? What if she needed to work? It’s hard to mess with a work schedule no matter the job.

Finally, the things that make a girlfriend a problem are the same behaviors and traits that a wife needs. Look at all the posts on here that say “tell your husband to be home” “Tell him that while the baby may not need a vacation, you as a family unit do”

As for your question though, I’d propose now. Who knows when things will get better. You don’t want to be a person that kicks the can down the road to the point you forget to enjoy today. Nobody has a lock on tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Propose now, op. No woman that’s ever wanted to marry a guy would say no if you asked sooner. If she’s the sort that would only say yes after a lavish weekend then you need to know that now.

My husband points out that the two of you need to be at the same level of covid caution. When I read your op, I had the impression that you were the dad planning a trip for the kids then deciding to cancel. It didn’t set well with me because you assume your girlfriend wants the trip, you assume her schedule is clear and what would be the plan for her to gracefully leave if she said no to your proposal? I’m not saying you’re a bad guy, just that you are marrying a woman not parenting a child. If you want a relationship where you surprise her with things, the two of you need to set that up. What if she’d planned to do something that weekend and hadn’t told you? What if she didn’t feel the trip was safe? What if she needed to work? It’s hard to mess with a work schedule no matter the job.

Finally, the things that make a girlfriend a problem are the same behaviors and traits that a wife needs. Look at all the posts on here that say “tell your husband to be home” “Tell him that while the baby may not need a vacation, you as a family unit do”

As for your question though, I’d propose now. Who knows when things will get better. You don’t want to be a person that kicks the can down the road to the point you forget to enjoy today. Nobody has a lock on tomorrow.

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