I just realized: I don't really like my kid's teacher and I don't think she's that great

[Anonymous]

Sounds like it was written by a student pp or perhaps an angry troll whose kid didn't get into a private

[Anonymous]

I'm not the PPP, but that sounded pretty realistic to me. I could have written it, and I'm a parent who's not disgruntled with my kid's private school.

[Anonymous]

I've also been less than impressed by some of the teachers at my child's school. Some are wonderful and some are not. So much depends on the chemistry between child and teacher and sometimes it is not there no matter what you pay. I have a theory that a lot of private school parents don't allow themselves to think too deeply about what is going on in their child's classroom - it must be good if they are paying all that money for it. That may be what happened to the original poster - initially she just assumed it must be good; however by March she had to admit that things were not quite right. Oh well - it is life.

[Anonymous]

I am 16:42 and I ASSURE you, I am a mom of three and a former teacher at one the schools mentioned on these boards often.

I cannot tell you how many times parents have sat in my office SHOCKED, just SHOCKED! that things were not more perfect for their child. And while I did feel a certain level of empathy (if I bought a mercedes, I WOULD be more pissed at problems than let's say, a Kia) it was so naive and frankly LAZY of them to think that human nature changes when dollar amounts go up.

Certainly, you have paid enough to create a stink and get listened to, and many of those parents were correct to complain, but some of the parents simply wanted to create a perfect world for little Miles b/c they thought they bought it....and well, those parents were in for a long, bumpy ride.

I watched many a student go the same path of any other adolescent, in any other school (even, GASP! public school kids). Maybe even moreso, b/c no one at home was really watching them. The parents thought the tuition somehow reached into the spaces of home and family. I wish.

OP, I do not think you are saying ALL THAT, and it is perfectly normal to be disappointed at crap teaching and you should say so with lots of examples and a pleasant smile on your face, but the assertion that you have "bought" some kind of assurance and perfection, well, get that out of your pretty blond (dyed in a Georgetown hair salon, don't be mad, mine is too) head.

[Anonymous]

21:21: as we're on the fence but signed a contract and threw down some $$...our kid has been public[-school from Day 1 but we're about to transfer to elite private for MS...in your teaching experience might the real world view of crowded classrooms, kids all over the map academically/etc... produce a more appreciative and cautious one in a more privileged setting? Seems he can't stop fantasizing about better food, time to linger at the locker and smaller class size. We parents keep wondering if we should wait till 9th if our DC is still doing so well in PS. Your professional (and profane) opinion is appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it was so naive and frankly LAZY of them to think that human nature changes when dollar amounts go up.

I agree with this, but my particular sense of dissatisfaction when faced with a poor or mediocre teacher is not the fact that we are paying so much but the fact that I expect the general level of teaching to be higher because the teachers receive more support, have smaller classes, etc. and because the administration has more flexibility in hiring and firing since the teachers are not unionized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:21:21: as we're on the fence but signed a contract and threw down some $$...our kid has been public[-school from Day 1 but we're about to transfer to elite private for MS...in your teaching experience might the real world view of crowded classrooms, kids all over the map academically/etc... produce a more appreciative and cautious one in a more privileged setting? Seems he can't stop fantasizing about better food, time to linger at the locker and smaller class size. We parents keep wondering if we should wait till 9th if our DC is still doing so well in PS. Your professional (and profane) opinion is appreciated.

21:21 here.

How well your child will succeed will depend on many factors: the boundaries you set at home, CLEAR expectations (homework), the empathy to allow wiggle room to get used to new surroundings and friends, a gentle push toward helping him join activities he will enjoy and meet like-minded kids, the WHOLE family getting involved in the school community (going to sporting events, plays, science fairs, etc), and keeping in touch with his OLD friends and community (he may want a clean break, so just follow his lead).

When you sign up for a private school, you are paying for the cracks that kids fall through to be made MUCH smaller. Ingratiate yourself to ALL of his teachers. E-mail wanting to know updates (but not too much) and make yourself available and NON-DEFENSIVE to the info. Your child may be ahead or behind the other students, so be prepared for some extra work to be done, in either case.

It is okay for your son to be excited about better food and smaller classes and lingering at lockers. THOSE are important things to a middle school student. Get him excited about the other things that will change with the move (you will not make him lazy or unfocused, it is simply human). If he is excited about these things and doesn't feel judged, he is more likely to work harder when the time comes.

Be ready for a dip in grades as the HW may increase (or decrease! if your son is coming from MCPS, he will likely have LESS HW and may fritter away his free time). Resist the urge to save him and cajole, beg, and threaten for grades. Set up the systems at home and the work will come.

ALL OF THIS WILL BE HARDER FOR YOU THAN FOR HIM. The new systems, the work, the commitment, will largely be YOURS be a little while, but if you do the work as a family up front, the school will open doors for him and he could thrive. It IS nice for kids to be in a room with others who learn like him! It IS nice to have teachers who have freedom and support. It IS nice to not feel crowded and to become an individual a little more easily, but the school is not a guarantee. Nothing is.

Meet with the admin ASAP so you can prepare over the summer (not a crazy way, but the more info you have, the better). If the school has not yet, get connected with another friendly family and start to soak up what to expect. Get playdates going, have kids over for pizza.

A middle schooler who is happy socially has a better chance of doing well academically, so do not be afraid to focus on that.

And for heaven's sake....NEVER mention how your fam has sacrificed, paid big bucks, blah blah blah. This is YOUR decision (with DH) and you are going to be accept the consequences of spending that money RIGHT NOW and not look back.

Good luck and sorry for the rambling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it was so naive and frankly LAZY of them to think that human nature changes when dollar amounts go up.

I agree with this, but my particular sense of dissatisfaction when faced with a poor or mediocre teacher is not the fact that we are paying so much but the fact that I expect the general level of teaching to be higher because the teachers receive more support, have smaller classes, etc. and because the administration has more flexibility in hiring and firing since the teachers are not unionized.

21:21 here - You would be surprised. True, you could rape a five year old on a desk in front of a principal in a public school and it may take YEARS to be fired, but private schools have a lot of politics, and many admin are pretty darn adverse to rocking the boat. It can take an AWFUL lot of complaining to get a teacher fired (years of it, from many sources, well-documented, etc). Being in a private school DOES get you more of an ear of an admin, but they are giving you a lot of lip-service when they meet with you....and unless your grievances are SPECIFIC and DOCUMENTED and REPEATED, they just want you to complain, then shut-up and go away.

It is EXPENSIVE to privates to replace teachers...and it is hard to find the right fit. Admin do not take it lightly and will not replace a teacher easily. That is the truth.

None of this means that you cannot make headway with the teacher on behalf of your child. Using kindness, empathy, and determination will get you a long way.

And when that does not work, remember that there are children in Darfur getting maimed and starving and would love your problems. That's what I do. Your kid will be okay.

[Anonymous]

Wow, 21:21. You are one of the most sensible posters on any of these school boards. As someone who is planning to send her child to public school at least through the 5th grade, but with friends who insist that private is always better, thanks.

[Anonymous]

OP, just finish the year, then complain to the head of school. They won't say who complained. If enough parents complain, that will do it.

BTW, I am not a smiler, and it does not mean that I am angry. Somehow, we have this notion in our society that a smile means kindness and safety. That is a bad message for kids to get, since that is how they can be easily manipulated by cunning adults who lure them with smiles and candy.

[Anonymous]

We left a DC private because of 2 years in a row of crappy teachers. Overall, we were very disappointed in the quality of teachers and approach to reading. Definitely not worth the money, but that was just our experience.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I assure you I'm not a troll, nor am I a PITA parent who seeks to create uptopia for her children. I really like The Blessing of a Skinned Knee and I bought it when it was first released I know the kid will make it through the day despite his AFFECTLESS, indifferent teacher.

I guess the bottom line is that my child is learning and has made progress during the year in the subjects where I can see benchmarks (math, reading). So technically, this teacher is doing her job along with the other core teachers.

Out of curiosity, I asked and my child said last night that she is his least favorite teacher because she's "always in a bad mood" and "talks in an angry voice a lot." This comports with what I've seen every single time I've seen her during the school day.

Now I ask - why is that OK for a teacher of little children? The Delta ticket agent doesn't even get away with that.

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind that: 1. Educators in private schoold do not need a teaching certificate, as they do in public schools (which is why there are more lawyers teaching in private schools than public) so the teacher in a private school may not have a degree or training in education. 2. The pay in private schools is less than what it is in public schools. I was surprised to learn these facts.

Parents have a tendency to think that they are getting better teachers at private schools than public, but there is no guarantee. Though private schools can fire a teacher who is doing poorly faster than a public school can, so they can correct problems faster.

Fact is that there are good and bad everywhere. There is a teacher at Somerset ES that could teach a rock to read, she is just that good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like it was written by a student pp or perhaps an angry troll whose kid didn't get into a private

Why does it always boil down to that? as though private is the solution to everything

How many non-acceptance letters result in suicides?

please

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 16:42 and I ASSURE you, I am a mom of three and a former teacher at one the schools mentioned on these boards often.

I cannot tell you how many times parents have sat in my office SHOCKED, just SHOCKED! that things were not more perfect for their child. And while I did feel a certain level of empathy (if I bought a mercedes, I WOULD be more pissed at problems than let's say, a Kia) it was so naive and frankly LAZY of them to think that human nature changes when dollar amounts go up.

Certainly, you have paid enough to create a stink and get listened to, and many of those parents were correct to complain, but some of the parents simply wanted to create a perfect world for little Miles b/c they thought they bought it....and well, those parents were in for a long, bumpy ride.

I watched many a student go the same path of any other adolescent, in any other school (even, GASP! public school kids). Maybe even moreso, b/c no one at home was really watching them. The parents thought the tuition somehow reached into the spaces of home and family. I wish.

OP, I do not think you are saying ALL THAT, and it is perfectly normal to be disappointed at crap teaching and you should say so with lots of examples and a pleasant smile on your face, but the assertion that you have "bought" some kind of assurance and perfection, well, get that out of your pretty blond (dyed in a Georgetown hair salon, don't be mad, mine is too) head.

Is the use of the name "Miles" a Murphy Brown reference?