If you limit screen time, how do you do it specifically?

[Anonymous]

My kids are 13 and 15. They read a lot, get good grades, do sports etc. And yet I find it really hard to control screen time. They both have a 2 hour iphone Screentime limit that excludes texting and Whatsapp. They also have a 2.5 hour limit on the Xfinity wifi app and limited data so they can’t use data for crap. I don’t let my younger one have tiktok or insta on her phone because she was addicted to them. She spends most of her time reading fan fiction, watching youtube and texting. My older one spends most of his time on the xbox that is hardwired into the wall so I have to physically make him keep an eye on the clock and shut down after 2 hours. It is so hard to keep track of all their online activity and I just wish they had been born a decade earlier.

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine with a slightly older child tgg he an mine said they did set time each day but it backfired because he felt he was entitled to that time because it’s all he had. So say they let him have an hour a day, but went out for the day, he would get really upset and want to be home in time for his hour of electronics. DD (9) doesn’t have set times and some days she has more than others. She still does imaginative stuff and plays with friends so I don’t see a problem yet. If she gets to the point that she doesn’t want to do anything else and is “ bored” unless on screens I will impose more serious limits. The screen is always the first thing to go as a consequence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would’ve just bought my own devices if my parents tried to take them away at 15+. Just being honest.

That type of attitude doesn’t fly in my house. I still pay for the wifi and the data plan (and the mortgage and the food and the activities and the driving.)

So you may want to rethink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 13 and 15. They read a lot, get good grades, do sports etc. And yet I find it really hard to control screen time. They both have a 2 hour iphone Screentime limit that excludes texting and Whatsapp. They also have a 2.5 hour limit on the Xfinity wifi app and limited data so they can’t use data for crap. I don’t let my younger one have tiktok or insta on her phone because she was addicted to them. She spends most of her time reading fan fiction, watching youtube and texting. My older one spends most of his time on the xbox that is hardwired into the wall so I have to physically make him keep an eye on the clock and shut down after 2 hours. It is so hard to keep track of all their online activity and I just wish they had been born a decade earlier.

My oldest child was born in 1997 and it was pretty hard to control screen time for him too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would’ve just bought my own devices if my parents tried to take them away at 15+. Just being honest.

That type of attitude doesn’t fly in my house. I still pay for the wifi and the data plan (and the mortgage and the food and the activities and the driving.)

So you may want to rethink.

Me too, now or when I was a kid. Why so much push back? All your parents want is for you not to waste the last bit of childhood in front of a screen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would’ve just bought my own devices if my parents tried to take them away at 15+. Just being honest.

That type of attitude doesn’t fly in my house. I still pay for the wifi and the data plan (and the mortgage and the food and the activities and the driving.)

So you may want to rethink.

Like I said, I would’ve bought my own hotspot and phone + plan at that age since I worked starting at 15. You don’t own the phone if you aren’t paying for anything on it.

So you may want to rethink.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of the thread in this subforum where parents asked if they should “allow” their teenager to get a debit card or a bank account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would’ve just bought my own devices if my parents tried to take them away at 15+. Just being honest.

That type of attitude doesn’t fly in my house. I still pay for the wifi and the data plan (and the mortgage and the food and the activities and the driving.)

So you may want to rethink.

Like I said, I would’ve bought my own hotspot and phone + plan at that age since I worked starting at 15. You don’t own the phone if you aren’t paying for anything on it.

So you may want to rethink.

When I was a teenager I wasn't allowed to work until the summer after high school. My parents did that specifically so they could control my income with a set allowance. For them it was more about money for cigarettes and drugs. I can't imagine feeling such disrespect and contempt for my parents that I would have done something like first PP is suggesting.

[Anonymous]

Your situation was completely different. How is it disrespect and contempt from parents to set rules/boundaries, expectations and consequences for their child? All they want is for their kid is not spend a ton of time in front of a screen. How is that a bad thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your situation was completely different. How is it disrespect and contempt from parents to set rules/boundaries, expectations and consequences for their child? All they want is for their kid is not spend a ton of time in front of a screen. How is that a bad thing?

I think we're in agreement. The PP who said she'd just buy her own phone is the one I said was out of line. The disrespectful behavior was for a teen to disregard their parents rules just because he/she had an income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your situation was completely different. How is it disrespect and contempt from parents to set rules/boundaries, expectations and consequences for their child? All they want is for their kid is not spend a ton of time in front of a screen. How is that a bad thing?

I think we're in agreement. The PP who said she'd just buy her own phone is the one I said was out of line. The disrespectful behavior was for a teen to disregard their parents rules just because he/she had an income.

Oh ok now I understand.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a lot of limits during the summer, but during the school year we don't do screens Monday-Thursday (this doesn't apply for the kids old enough to have iPhones - I use screen time settings in the parental controls for that, and they have to be in the bedroom by 8 pm).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would’ve just bought my own devices if my parents tried to take them away at 15+. Just being honest.

That type of attitude doesn’t fly in my house. I still pay for the wifi and the data plan (and the mortgage and the food and the activities and the driving.)

So you may want to rethink.

Like I said, I would’ve bought my own hotspot and phone + plan at that age since I worked starting at 15. You don’t own the phone if you aren’t paying for anything on it.

So you may want to rethink.

When I was a teenager I wasn't allowed to work until the summer after high school. My parents did that specifically so they could control my income with a set allowance. For them it was more about money for cigarettes and drugs. I can't imagine feeling such disrespect and contempt for my parents that I would have done something like first PP is suggesting.

So you had wealthy controlling parents. Got it.

[Anonymous]

I take 16 yr old DDs phone at 11PM each night. Spends the night charging in our bathroom. She likes that because then she’s not tempted o keep checking it during the night and getting no sleep.

[Anonymous]

We turn off the screen time at 11pm for our 14 and 17 year olds. We leave it open if they have friends overnight or spend the night elsewhere. They’re off their devices a lot due to work and sports. Otherwise we just say, “go outside”