Wwyd re counselor inappropriate comments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 13-15, I am kind of surprised the kid couldn’t take a joke. It was a joke, op. Maybe not a tasteful one, but the counselor first determined everything was safe, then made the joke.

What is the kid going to do in high school? Those kids are much meaner.

This is NEVER a joke. It is the equivalent of saying he’s going to bring in a container of gasoline and set her on fire.

Speaking of fire, that’s what he should be — fired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the minority, but I’d call the camp director ans say you heard that a couple selon joked about causing a potentially serious allergic reaction in a camper. This is unacceptable.

These kids are not 5, they are teenagers. Take a step back. If you really feel something needs to be said, teach the daughter to confront the counselor directly. Otherwise, move on.

Absolutely not. This needs to go to the top of the food chain. Food allergy is life threatening and it is a disability. Would you minimize this if it was the same teacher mocking an intellectually challenged kid, or one missing a limb, or one with a terrible facial disfigurement? Not so funny now, huh? And none of those conditions are life threatening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the minority, but I’d call the camp director ans say you heard that a couple selon joked about causing a potentially serious allergic reaction in a camper. This is unacceptable.

These kids are not 5, they are teenagers. Take a step back. If you really feel something needs to be said, teach the daughter to confront the counselor directly. Otherwise, move on.

Absolutely not. This needs to go to the top of the food chain. Food allergy is life threatening and it is a disability. Would you minimize this if it was the same teacher mocking an intellectually challenged kid, or one missing a limb, or one with a terrible facial disfigurement? Not so funny now, huh? And none of those conditions are life threatening.

If a counselor said “if you guys don’t stop singing baby shark I’m driving this bus off a cliff” I would not think it was a serious problem. It’s a joke. The fact it would be deadly is not really relevant. So you focusing in on the deadliness of *actually doing it* misses the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the minority, but I’d call the camp director ans say you heard that a couple selon joked about causing a potentially serious allergic reaction in a camper. This is unacceptable.

These kids are not 5, they are teenagers. Take a step back. If you really feel something needs to be said, teach the daughter to confront the counselor directly. Otherwise, move on.

Absolutely not. This needs to go to the top of the food chain. Food allergy is life threatening and it is a disability. Would you minimize this if it was the same teacher mocking an intellectually challenged kid, or one missing a limb, or one with a terrible facial disfigurement? Not so funny now, huh? And none of those conditions are life threatening.

If a counselor said “if you guys don’t stop singing baby shark I’m driving this bus off a cliff” I would not think it was a serious problem. It’s a joke. The fact it would be deadly is not really relevant. So you focusing in on the deadliness of *actually doing it* misses the point.

No. You miss the point. Life threatening allergies aren’t funny. Especially for the kid who can never eat somebody else’s class treats because of possible cross contamination, who has been reading ingredient labels since they can read, who has to forego or be incredibly careful about “outside” food, who has to carry an Epi Pen, and God forbid they forget it. We’re not supposed to make fun of looks, sexuality, and a thousand other things, but it’s OK to “joke” about deadly assault on a kid if you don’t do it? Suppose the counselor “joked” that he was going to drive the bus over a bunch of kids, or that he was going to bring a gun so they could play “most dangerous game” in the woods that night. That would be OK, as long as he didn’t actually do those things?

What the counselor did was outrageous, and absolutely indefensible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the minority, but I’d call the camp director ans say you heard that a couple selon joked about causing a potentially serious allergic reaction in a camper. This is unacceptable.

These kids are not 5, they are teenagers. Take a step back. If you really feel something needs to be said, teach the daughter to confront the counselor directly. Otherwise, move on.

Absolutely not. This needs to go to the top of the food chain. Food allergy is life threatening and it is a disability. Would you minimize this if it was the same teacher mocking an intellectually challenged kid, or one missing a limb, or one with a terrible facial disfigurement? Not so funny now, huh? And none of those conditions are life threatening.

If a counselor said “if you guys don’t stop singing baby shark I’m driving this bus off a cliff” I would not think it was a serious problem. It’s a joke. The fact it would be deadly is not really relevant. So you focusing in on the deadliness of *actually doing it* misses the point.

No. You miss the point. Life threatening allergies aren’t funny. Especially for the kid who can never eat somebody else’s class treats because of possible cross contamination, who has been reading ingredient labels since they can read, who has to forego or be incredibly careful about “outside” food, who has to carry an Epi Pen, and God forbid they forget it. We’re not supposed to make fun of looks, sexuality, and a thousand other things, but it’s OK to “joke” about deadly assault on a kid if you don’t do it? Suppose the counselor “joked” that he was going to drive the bus over a bunch of kids, or that he was going to bring a gun so they could play “most dangerous game” in the woods that night. That would be OK, as long as he didn’t actually do those things?

What the counselor did was outrageous, and absolutely indefensible.

You are clearly very triggered and I understand your stress. But a teenager needs to learn how to survive in society. Teaching both the victim and bystander how to react might be the best case scenario. Having a teenage counselor fired is overkill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the minority, but I’d call the camp director ans say you heard that a couple selon joked about causing a potentially serious allergic reaction in a camper. This is unacceptable.

These kids are not 5, they are teenagers. Take a step back. If you really feel something needs to be said, teach the daughter to confront the counselor directly. Otherwise, move on.

Absolutely not. This needs to go to the top of the food chain. Food allergy is life threatening and it is a disability. Would you minimize this if it was the same teacher mocking an intellectually challenged kid, or one missing a limb, or one with a terrible facial disfigurement? Not so funny now, huh? And none of those conditions are life threatening.

If a counselor said “if you guys don’t stop singing baby shark I’m driving this bus off a cliff” I would not think it was a serious problem. It’s a joke. The fact it would be deadly is not really relevant. So you focusing in on the deadliness of *actually doing it* misses the point.

No. You miss the point. Life threatening allergies aren’t funny. Especially for the kid who can never eat somebody else’s class treats because of possible cross contamination, who has been reading ingredient labels since they can read, who has to forego or be incredibly careful about “outside” food, who has to carry an Epi Pen, and God forbid they forget it. We’re not supposed to make fun of looks, sexuality, and a thousand other things, but it’s OK to “joke” about deadly assault on a kid if you don’t do it? Suppose the counselor “joked” that he was going to drive the bus over a bunch of kids, or that he was going to bring a gun so they could play “most dangerous game” in the woods that night. That would be OK, as long as he didn’t actually do those things?

What the counselor did was outrageous, and absolutely indefensible.

You are clearly very triggered and I understand your stress. But a teenager needs to learn how to survive in society. Teaching both the victim and bystander how to react might be the best case scenario. Having a teenage counselor fired is overkill.

Sending a sadistic tone deaf putz out the door with a footprint on his butt would certainly educate him and serve as a fine example to the others.

And I’m not “triggered.” Or stressed. Just shocked that in this day and she anybody would call something like this a “joke.”

[Anonymous]

I have a teen with an allergy and while it doesn’t sound funny I think depending on the circumstances it could definitely be perceived as a joke by my teen. I would think it was bizarre for a bystander to say something in that case and so would my teen. If your child wanted to say something it should have been in the moment, in a checking with the allergy kid way.

[Anonymous]

I would absolutely call the camp director and have them talk to the counselor. The counselor needs to learn it's not ok and sadly enough maybe they haven't received that message before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the minority, but I’d call the camp director ans say you heard that a couple selon joked about causing a potentially serious allergic reaction in a camper. This is unacceptable.

These kids are not 5, they are teenagers. Take a step back. If you really feel something needs to be said, teach the daughter to confront the counselor directly. Otherwise, move on.

Absolutely not. This needs to go to the top of the food chain. Food allergy is life threatening and it is a disability. Would you minimize this if it was the same teacher mocking an intellectually challenged kid, or one missing a limb, or one with a terrible facial disfigurement? Not so funny now, huh? And none of those conditions are life threatening.

If a counselor said “if you guys don’t stop singing baby shark I’m driving this bus off a cliff” I would not think it was a serious problem. It’s a joke. The fact it would be deadly is not really relevant. So you focusing in on the deadliness of *actually doing it* misses the point.

No. You miss the point. Life threatening allergies aren’t funny. Especially for the kid who can never eat somebody else’s class treats because of possible cross contamination, who has been reading ingredient labels since they can read, who has to forego or be incredibly careful about “outside” food, who has to carry an Epi Pen, and God forbid they forget it. We’re not supposed to make fun of looks, sexuality, and a thousand other things, but it’s OK to “joke” about deadly assault on a kid if you don’t do it? Suppose the counselor “joked” that he was going to drive the bus over a bunch of kids, or that he was going to bring a gun so they could play “most dangerous game” in the woods that night. That would be OK, as long as he didn’t actually do those things?

What the counselor did was outrageous, and absolutely indefensible.

I understand your point perfectly it’s just absurd. People engage in comedic hyperbole. It’s not a death threat. It’s sometimes funny if the person is capable of crafting jokes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the minority, but I’d call the camp director ans say you heard that a couple selon joked about causing a potentially serious allergic reaction in a camper. This is unacceptable.

These kids are not 5, they are teenagers. Take a step back. If you really feel something needs to be said, teach the daughter to confront the counselor directly. Otherwise, move on.

Absolutely not. This needs to go to the top of the food chain. Food allergy is life threatening and it is a disability. Would you minimize this if it was the same teacher mocking an intellectually challenged kid, or one missing a limb, or one with a terrible facial disfigurement? Not so funny now, huh? And none of those conditions are life threatening.

If a counselor said “if you guys don’t stop singing baby shark I’m driving this bus off a cliff” I would not think it was a serious problem. It’s a joke. The fact it would be deadly is not really relevant. So you focusing in on the deadliness of *actually doing it* misses the point.

No. You miss the point. Life threatening allergies aren’t funny. Especially for the kid who can never eat somebody else’s class treats because of possible cross contamination, who has been reading ingredient labels since they can read, who has to forego or be incredibly careful about “outside” food, who has to carry an Epi Pen, and God forbid they forget it. We’re not supposed to make fun of looks, sexuality, and a thousand other things, but it’s OK to “joke” about deadly assault on a kid if you don’t do it? Suppose the counselor “joked” that he was going to drive the bus over a bunch of kids, or that he was going to bring a gun so they could play “most dangerous game” in the woods that night. That would be OK, as long as he didn’t actually do those things?

What the counselor did was outrageous, and absolutely indefensible.

You are clearly very triggered and I understand your stress. But a teenager needs to learn how to survive in society. Teaching both the victim and bystander how to react might be the best case scenario. Having a teenage counselor fired is overkill.

Sending a sadistic tone deaf putz out the door with a footprint on his butt would certainly educate him and serve as a fine example to the others.

And I’m not “triggered.” Or stressed. Just shocked that in this day and she anybody would call something like this a “joke.”

Calling him a sadist?! You’ve really lost the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the minority, but I’d call the camp director ans say you heard that a couple selon joked about causing a potentially serious allergic reaction in a camper. This is unacceptable.

These kids are not 5, they are teenagers. Take a step back. If you really feel something needs to be said, teach the daughter to confront the counselor directly. Otherwise, move on.

Absolutely not. This needs to go to the top of the food chain. Food allergy is life threatening and it is a disability. Would you minimize this if it was the same teacher mocking an intellectually challenged kid, or one missing a limb, or one with a terrible facial disfigurement? Not so funny now, huh? And none of those conditions are life threatening.

If a counselor said “if you guys don’t stop singing baby shark I’m driving this bus off a cliff” I would not think it was a serious problem. It’s a joke. The fact it would be deadly is not really relevant. So you focusing in on the deadliness of *actually doing it* misses the point.

No. You miss the point. Life threatening allergies aren’t funny. Especially for the kid who can never eat somebody else’s class treats because of possible cross contamination, who has been reading ingredient labels since they can read, who has to forego or be incredibly careful about “outside” food, who has to carry an Epi Pen, and God forbid they forget it. We’re not supposed to make fun of looks, sexuality, and a thousand other things, but it’s OK to “joke” about deadly assault on a kid if you don’t do it? Suppose the counselor “joked” that he was going to drive the bus over a bunch of kids, or that he was going to bring a gun so they could play “most dangerous game” in the woods that night. That would be OK, as long as he didn’t actually do those things?

What the counselor did was outrageous, and absolutely indefensible.

You are clearly very triggered and I understand your stress. But a teenager needs to learn how to survive in society. Teaching both the victim and bystander how to react might be the best case scenario. Having a teenage counselor fired is overkill.

Sending a sadistic tone deaf putz out the door with a footprint on his butt would certainly educate him and serve as a fine example to the others.

And I’m not “triggered.” Or stressed. Just shocked that in this day and she anybody would call something like this a “joke.”

You're triggered, and your melodramatic rant makes you sound hysterical. NP.

[Anonymous]

Please remember that this counselor was responsible enough to check for allergies. This was not an irresponsible situation. We are also missing the very important information about the tone, how it was said, and how it was perceived by the child with the allergy.

It is possible that OP’s child is a young 13 and the child with the allergy is a more mature 15 who likes that kind of banter with an older teenager. We don’t know. I have a feeling that a lot of us saying it’s a joke have a child in the older range. My 15 y/o would love a counselor joking around with her, but she might not have been as confident at 13 (I don’t really remember).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the minority, but I’d call the camp director ans say you heard that a couple selon joked about causing a potentially serious allergic reaction in a camper. This is unacceptable.

These kids are not 5, they are teenagers. Take a step back. If you really feel something needs to be said, teach the daughter to confront the counselor directly. Otherwise, move on.

Absolutely not. This needs to go to the top of the food chain. Food allergy is life threatening and it is a disability. Would you minimize this if it was the same teacher mocking an intellectually challenged kid, or one missing a limb, or one with a terrible facial disfigurement? Not so funny now, huh? And none of those conditions are life threatening.

If a counselor said “if you guys don’t stop singing baby shark I’m driving this bus off a cliff” I would not think it was a serious problem. It’s a joke. The fact it would be deadly is not really relevant. So you focusing in on the deadliness of *actually doing it* misses the point.

No. You miss the point. Life threatening allergies aren’t funny. Especially for the kid who can never eat somebody else’s class treats because of possible cross contamination, who has been reading ingredient labels since they can read, who has to forego or be incredibly careful about “outside” food, who has to carry an Epi Pen, and God forbid they forget it. We’re not supposed to make fun of looks, sexuality, and a thousand other things, but it’s OK to “joke” about deadly assault on a kid if you don’t do it? Suppose the counselor “joked” that he was going to drive the bus over a bunch of kids, or that he was going to bring a gun so they could play “most dangerous game” in the woods that night. That would be OK, as long as he didn’t actually do those things?

What the counselor did was outrageous, and absolutely indefensible.

NP here. Not really, I think you, PP, are the one missing the point.

We understand that the counselor's comments were insensitive and inappropriate, borderline bullying. However, I think the bigger point is that when the kids are 13-15, the parents should not be stepping in for behavioral issues like this. Especially when your child was not the victim. Instead, you should be teaching your child how to react and behave. I would be teaching my children not to stand for such comments, especially directed at someone else. I don't abide by bullying and I teach my kids (who are only 10) not to abide by bullying either. At 10, I have already taught my kids to speak up when someone is being treated unfairly. You should be doing the same.

The parents of the child with the allergy are the only ones that should be intervening and only if their child is not or cannot stand up for themselves. Otherwise, the parents should be teaching their children not to participate in such behavior, not to take such behavior lightly and to speak up and say that the behavior was inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the minority, but I’d call the camp director ans say you heard that a couple selon joked about causing a potentially serious allergic reaction in a camper. This is unacceptable.

These kids are not 5, they are teenagers. Take a step back. If you really feel something needs to be said, teach the daughter to confront the counselor directly. Otherwise, move on.

Absolutely not. This needs to go to the top of the food chain. Food allergy is life threatening and it is a disability. Would you minimize this if it was the same teacher mocking an intellectually challenged kid, or one missing a limb, or one with a terrible facial disfigurement? Not so funny now, huh? And none of those conditions are life threatening.

If a counselor said “if you guys don’t stop singing baby shark I’m driving this bus off a cliff” I would not think it was a serious problem. It’s a joke. The fact it would be deadly is not really relevant. So you focusing in on the deadliness of *actually doing it* misses the point.

No. You miss the point. Life threatening allergies aren’t funny. Especially for the kid who can never eat somebody else’s class treats because of possible cross contamination, who has been reading ingredient labels since they can read, who has to forego or be incredibly careful about “outside” food, who has to carry an Epi Pen, and God forbid they forget it. We’re not supposed to make fun of looks, sexuality, and a thousand other things, but it’s OK to “joke” about deadly assault on a kid if you don’t do it? Suppose the counselor “joked” that he was going to drive the bus over a bunch of kids, or that he was going to bring a gun so they could play “most dangerous game” in the woods that night. That would be OK, as long as he didn’t actually do those things?

What the counselor did was outrageous, and absolutely indefensible.

NP here. Not really, I think you, PP, are the one missing the point.

We understand that the counselor's comments were insensitive and inappropriate, borderline bullying. However, I think the bigger point is that when the kids are 13-15, the parents should not be stepping in for behavioral issues like this. Especially when your child was not the victim. Instead, you should be teaching your child how to react and behave. I would be teaching my children not to stand for such comments, especially directed at someone else. I don't abide by bullying and I teach my kids (who are only 10) not to abide by bullying either. At 10, I have already taught my kids to speak up when someone is being treated unfairly. You should be doing the same.

The parents of the child with the allergy are the only ones that should be intervening and only if their child is not or cannot stand up for themselves. Otherwise, the parents should be teaching their children not to participate in such behavior, not to take such behavior lightly and to speak up and say that the behavior was inappropriate.

Get back to me when some counselor decides to suggest to the other kids how easy it would be to have their way with one of the campers after dark. Leaving kids in the position of being expected to correct the person putatively in charge of them is how organizations develop sex abuse and similar problems.

13-15 year olds are entitled to be safe, not to be taking charge of the people who are expected to protect them.

“Insensitive?” “Inappropriate?” “Borderline bullying?”

Suppose one of the kids had decided just to go ahead and go what the counselor “joked” about? Where would that fall on your scale of “borderline” behavior?

You want a teaching moment? Great. When somebody calls Larlo “big nose” or Larla “pizza face,” that’s a teaching moment.

Suggesting life threatening violence to another person isn’t a “joke” or “borderline” anything. It’s a glaring warning sign that the people in charge haven’t adequately screened their personnel and need to fix that immediately.

For most people nuts are tasty and more or less innocuous snacks. There is a very common tendency among the uninformed to disbelieve or minimize the seriousness of nut allergies. Think of it this way: suppose the counselor had “joked” about seeing how hard he could hit Alexi the hemophiliac with the kickball? Would that be something the other kids should be expected to correct?

[Anonymous]

You are too much PP. Just way over the top.