Just normal midlife? Or does the world sometimes feel unrecognizable to anyone else?

[Anonymous]

We do have stellar “university systems,” that is why people flock here to attend college and then return home better for it. Outside of Oxford or something, very few Americans would seek out a European university… because it’s not so stellar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure if I feel exactly like you do, OP, but I find myself very nostalgic for the time before smartphones, before the time we were all connected constantly.

I try to remember what it was like to be free--to drive somewhere and no one knew where you were. You could be anywhere! I didn't have the same anxiety I do now about staying connected or being reachable to others.

I know there is more opportunity now and more options but I feel more constrained by modern life. It also feels emptier to me. "Weird" is a good word, OP, but not sure my weird is the same as yours.

Social media is a curse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in my late 40s and I have noticed in the past year a growing sense of feeling like every single aspect of the world has changed so drastically that it's hard to integrate all of it into a somewhat coherent understanding of the world. Do you relate? Don't relate?

In the early 2000s, I did not feel like the technological changes and national/world events taking place were shattering my basic assumptions about how the world works. I felt like I could loosely anticipate the trajectory of my life over the next five to ten years. I do not know if this is a natural part of aging or if I am lacking perspective of how this chaotic time fits with history. My parents were born in the late 1940s and I don't know that by the 1980s (their 40s) the world looked so drastically different.

I look back at the 1990s and it all seemed so much....quieter and predictable, but I was an adolescent.

My question is---do you think the world changed faster and more drastically from 2000-2021 than it did from 1980-2000, 1960-1980, 1940-1960....or is it just the effect of being in mid-life?

I'm also in my late 40s, and are you kidding??? Life changes much slower now than it did from the 40s - 80s. That was a RADICAL change in culture, technology, the world order! I mean, nuclear weapons, the rise of super powers and the threat of MAD, women's liberation and birth control, racial strife and eventual moves to real equality (though still not there I know), the suburbs, television, computing, the green revolution, the monetary system...

I mean things are sooo much more like the 80s today than the 40s were to the 80s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure if I feel exactly like you do, OP, but I find myself very nostalgic for the time before smartphones, before the time we were all connected constantly.

I try to remember what it was like to be free--to drive somewhere and no one knew where you were. You could be anywhere! I didn't have the same anxiety I do now about staying connected or being reachable to others.

I know there is more opportunity now and more options but I feel more constrained by modern life. It also feels emptier to me. "Weird" is a good word, OP, but not sure my weird is the same as yours.

I think smartphones are great, social media is terrible. I don't understand, you can turn off your phone. You can even leave it at home and drive somewhere and no one will know where you are. I think this mostly just a factor of becoming a parent and having kids; we were super late to getting smartphones or even cell phones, but my spouse always wanted to kind of know where I was and if I would be home in time for dinner. Now they can just use our family tracker to know rather than calling my office phone, not really any different and less disruption for me!

I think an emptier life is partly just middle age; I mean middle age crisis, elder loneliness have been around for decades. Old folks don't live near family as much anymore, as kids are much more mobile and multi-generational households are not the norm. Friends move away or drift apart or are harder to make than when you lived where you grew up or where you went to college.

[Anonymous]

I don't feel like life is substantially different now from how it was when I graduated high school in the late 90s. Maybe the main difference is having to chase your sibling off the phone so you could dial into AOL, versus everyone carrying little connected computers around in their pockets at all times now. But I'm not feeling the radical societal change OP is feeling. In fact, I'm disappointed that the same issues that were prevalent 20 years ago are still prevalent today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am a 41 year old European and the world so far seems quite predictable. Perhaps you weren't keeping up with global politics/economics and science, or were not taught enough of it in school? Because where we are vis-a-vis climate change was foretold years ago, along with many alternate but largely similar scenarios; countries made pandemic plans (and directors made pandemic movies) way before Covid hit; the Middle East is still mired in mess, like it's been all my life; China has been on this political and economic growth curve for many years, just like my economics teacher explained in high school. However I am aware that some parts of the US did not have stellar K-12 and university systems decades ago - so some of this may have escaped your notice.

Just wow . . .

No one cares. Go back to Europe where you can surround yourself with equally well-educated jerks.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think the issue is technology has outpaced humanity.

Human communication is primarily non-verbal yet most of our contact with others is via technology now. Body language, eye contact, vocal tone, social norms and simple politeness and courtesy has gone out the window.

This has changed how we interact with each other and not for the better especially with social media. It affects business, politics, families and just about every aspect of our lives.

Look the the Euro poster here as just one example. I highly doubt this individual would make such arrogant and insulting comments if they were standing in front of dozens of Americans, looking them in the eye.

[Anonymous]

I’m with you, OP. I’m 49 with young teenagers and the past few years have made me feel utterly at sea and disconnected from our culture. How did things get so mean and trashy? If you travel outside DC or various UMC destinations you see behavior that is almost unrecognizable to me — multiple tattoos, loud, nasty behavior, just a general lack of manners and decorum. I grew up in a socioeconomically diverse town in the South and never saw this behavior growing up, but I do now. One woman who grew up a few towns over went viral last year screaming, “In America, we don’t cover our faces” in a fast food restaurant. I don’t mean to blame everything on Trump, but what he releases (proud, defiant ignorance and embracing your worst self) can not be put back in the bottle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am a 41 year old European and the world so far seems quite predictable. Perhaps you weren't keeping up with global politics/economics and science, or were not taught enough of it in school? Because where we are vis-a-vis climate change was foretold years ago, along with many alternate but largely similar scenarios; countries made pandemic plans (and directors made pandemic movies) way before Covid hit; the Middle East is still mired in mess, like it's been all my life; China has been on this political and economic growth curve for many years, just like my economics teacher explained in high school. However I am aware that some parts of the US did not have stellar K-12 and university systems decades ago - so some of this may have escaped your notice.

Just wow . . .

No one cares. Go back to Europe where you can surround yourself with equally well-educated jerks.

I don't think European education is so stellar, especially since a 41 year old like yourself seems to forget what the American contributions were during WWII. Interesting how those uncouth, uneducated American oafs managed to die by the droves so you can now sit here in arrogant judgement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am a 41 year old European and the world so far seems quite predictable. Perhaps you weren't keeping up with global politics/economics and science, or were not taught enough of it in school? Because where we are vis-a-vis climate change was foretold years ago, along with many alternate but largely similar scenarios; countries made pandemic plans (and directors made pandemic movies) way before Covid hit; the Middle East is still mired in mess, like it's been all my life; China has been on this political and economic growth curve for many years, just like my economics teacher explained in high school. However I am aware that some parts of the US did not have stellar K-12 and university systems decades ago - so some of this may have escaped your notice.

Just wow . . .

I actually think PP has a point and I kind of think it describes me. I’m 42 and have had the same thoughts as OP, but have told myself it’s not THAT different but I just notice the world in a different, more mature way than I did in my teens, 20s and even early 30s. I grew up in the area and went to undergrad and post grad schools, but I never really paid that much attention to politics and world events to the extent I do now. I’m sure part of it was being young and self-centered, and maybe part of it was that my parents didnt engage on current events/politics that much with me as a kid. So I don’t think PP was being rude, I think he/she was pretty thoughtful about that response.

Yes. As Americans we are very inward looking and don't give much in-depth attention to world events and trends. It's very striking if you happen to spend any significant amount of time outside of the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in my late 40s and I have noticed in the past year a growing sense of feeling like every single aspect of the world has changed so drastically that it's hard to integrate all of it into a somewhat coherent understanding of the world. Do you relate? Don't relate?

In the early 2000s, I did not feel like the technological changes and national/world events taking place were shattering my basic assumptions about how the world works. I felt like I could loosely anticipate the trajectory of my life over the next five to ten years. I do not know if this is a natural part of aging or if I am lacking perspective of how this chaotic time fits with history. My parents were born in the late 1940s and I don't know that by the 1980s (their 40s) the world looked so drastically different.

I look back at the 1990s and it all seemed so much....quieter and predictable, but I was an adolescent.

My question is---do you think the world changed faster and more drastically from 2000-2021 than it did from 1980-2000, 1960-1980, 1940-1960....or is it just the effect of being in mid-life?

I'm not sure anyone anticipated the impact of social media.

I do agree the 90's were kind of Gen X's golden age. I was in my 20's and look back now and think we had no idea how good we had it.

The current political climate on the right has been the biggest shock to me, to include people I have known for 20 or 30 years embracing what has happened with the Republican party totally unapologetically. Maybe I was naive, but that was one I didn't see coming.

[Anonymous]

I’m in my early 40s, and I think this mindset of the world feeling unrecognizable is very typical, and is usually what people mean when they say someone is “old”, that is, they are refusing to accept the world has changed.

The world is always changing, there is always political and environmental change, there is regular economic turbulence — none of this is new. When we are young, I think we embrace it more because change can be exciting and bring along a lot of opportunity. As we get older, we have more (material stuff and status) and change can be scary because we have more to lose. Then we start feeling like the good old days were better, but they weren’t, we just had a different mindset.

I don’t feel like the world has left me behind, but I do realize that I am not as open to embracing new things as I was when younger. I was an early adopter if email and Facebook, but now not excited about Twitter or Snapchat. But it’s a choice I am making, I don’t blame it on a changing world.

[Anonymous]

I work for a digital media company for kids and definitely feel like the OP. I think some of it is middle age, but also seeing how much data drives decisions and content. It’s obviously always been true, but the fact it’s now designed to be addictive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure if I feel exactly like you do, OP, but I find myself very nostalgic for the time before smartphones, before the time we were all connected constantly.

I try to remember what it was like to be free--to drive somewhere and no one knew where you were. You could be anywhere! I didn't have the same anxiety I do now about staying connected or being reachable to others.

I know there is more opportunity now and more options but I feel more constrained by modern life. It also feels emptier to me. "Weird" is a good word, OP, but not sure my weird is the same as yours.

Social media is a curse.

Smart phones (even cell phones) and social media are the bain of my existence.

Life was so much more peaceful and people were mentally healthier and less narcissistic/self-absorbed.

I loved going through college never being tied to a cell phone (didn't exist) or having social media. I do not have the latter. The smart phone is the devil's work . It's stolen everyone's attention and they are latched to it, never enjoying the moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you, OP. I’m 49 with young teenagers and the past few years have made me feel utterly at sea and disconnected from our culture. How did things get so mean and trashy? If you travel outside DC or various UMC destinations you see behavior that is almost unrecognizable to me — multiple tattoos, loud, nasty behavior, just a general lack of manners and decorum. I grew up in a socioeconomically diverse town in the South and never saw this behavior growing up, but I do now. One woman who grew up a few towns over went viral last year screaming, “In America, we don’t cover our faces” in a fast food restaurant. I don’t mean to blame everything on Trump, but what he releases (proud, defiant ignorance and embracing your worst self) can not be put back in the bottle.

Omg. yes. We celebrate rudeness and the self-absorbed. People go out to eat and fly in pajamas.