When do you think a kid should have a phone?

[Anonymous]

My almost 13 year old still doesn’t have one, although she is probably the last among her friends. I’ll hold out as long as possible. (She has an old iPod that she uses at home only and that has caused enough problems.) Anecdotally, the friends of both my kids (boy and girl) who got smart phones in 3rd/4th grade have had the most issues with grades, anxiety, depression, attention span. I really can’t believe that parents hand those things over to little kids.

[Anonymous]

Both of my kids got phones when starting middle school (7th grade). I wanted them to be able to contact me easily if they missed the bus, needed to stay after school last minute, or wanted to hang out with friends outside of someone's home. It was also a good way for them to keep in touch/make plans with friends without me facilitating all the time.

[Anonymous]

Ours is getting one this summer as a rising 6th grader. Starting to want a bit more freedom to go bike riding with friends or do meet ups at the park and I want to be able to contact him and vice versa. Will either be a flip phone or my old iPhone totally stripped and locked-down to the capabilities of a flip phone.

Big believer in the waiting until 8th (or longer) idea for smartphones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A phone or a pocket computer with access to the entire internet? A phone, as soon as they walk to school alone. A computer, 18.

LOL! A computer at 18? Is this the 1990s? Every kid needs to use a computer constantly for school. Mine have had computers since they were 7

[Anonymous]

We waited until age 12 (grades 6 or 7 depending on the kid). Worked well for us.

[Anonymous]

As soon as she’s doing activities without me and I need a way to contact her. For me, this means going to/from school without an adult, after school/weekend sports or clubs when I’m not there, hanging out with friends after school or on weekends, etc. But DD is only 9 and none of this has happened yet, so no phone.

[Anonymous]

Kindergarten

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A phone or a pocket computer with access to the entire internet? A phone, as soon as they walk to school alone. A computer, 18.

LOL! A computer at 18? Is this the 1990s? Every kid needs to use a computer constantly for school. Mine have had computers since they were 7

I think PP was distinguishing between a flip phone and giving your kid a fully loaded iPhone at age 7 or 10 or 13.

[Anonymous]

Middle school

You need to oversee their use. You still have some influence and control at this age. You can help them navigate the social mefia world, teach them limitations … don’t post pictures that are mean or lure, don’t post or like racist stuff, how to keep things private.

They need guidance.

HS is too late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A phone or a pocket computer with access to the entire internet? A phone, as soon as they walk to school alone. A computer, 18.

18 may be a little old, but I do get where this poster is coming from. Giving a young child full access to a computer (smart phone) isn’t the best idea. Most of the apps that kids want require them to be 13ish anyway. It’s hard to resist when everyone else is allowing their kids to have them nowadays but they will one day appreciate it when they are older and can put those parenting choices into perspective, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

My rising 7th grader will get one this summer. We thought we would hold of longer, but it would be really nice for him to have one this summer to do things like call from the pool if he needs to be picked up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait until 8. We will have a home iphone/ooma to use at home instead of a landline.

8? As in 8 years old?? No. Way too young.

8th grade.

DP -- I am in agreement with you, pp, though many of the kids in both my DC's kindergarten classes had smart phones. My kids are in middle school now, and we are in an oft slammed DCUM pyramid in western Fairfax.

[Anonymous]

Think about it like this, tech companies spend billions of dollars on brainstorming ways to make their products and apps more addictive and eye catching to the human eye. This is a known fact about all the popular apps. They have no desire to make their products more safe for children because there is no incentive. On top of this, it is a known fact that most big tech workers do not allow their children to use these products. They go out of their way to send their children to “screen free” schools and pride themselves on providing a screen free childhood for their children. Why is this? I think most people know the answer. Unfortunately, there is A LOT of social pressure for children to have a phone. Children have been socially outcasted and parents feel bad for their children being left out. Naturally, parents respond by just giving the children the smart phone. We won’t know the implications of these actions for a while.

That being said, my opinion is to wait at least until the first year of high school for a smart phone. We can’t protect children forever and we need to use smart phone access as an opportunity to teach responsible internet consumption. If we never allow children to roam the internet, they will go crazy once they finally have free access as an adult. Same thing as never allowing your child to have junk food. They will gain 50 lbs the first year of college because they are making up for all the lost time and never learned proper/moderate consumption.

[Anonymous]

as someone once put it bluntly, "when you want them to see porn"

[Anonymous]

I got my eldest kid a phone as a Kindergartener. And I don’t see the meaningful difference between a phone and iPad. You can access the same content either way (like porn comment above). The only difference is I can call her directly when she’s at her grandparents/with the au pair/etc.