Sleep training failure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you went in after 30 mins she learned if she screams long enough you will go in. If you are serious you need to not go back in. I sleep trained at 4.5 mos and the first night she cried for just over an hour. Yes I felt like a shit parent, yes I wanted to go in, but I didn’t. 2nd night was 30 mins, 3rd night 5 mins.... and done. We always put down drowsy but awake so she got used to falling asleep on her own.

OP here. Our expensive sleep consultant said to never let a baby cry for more than 30 minutes.

I think this was bad advice. When I sleep trained my daughter the first night she cried for almost an hour and a half. Yes it was bad and she basically feel asleep from exhaustion the first night. We could not go in because that made it worse. The crying decreased over the next couple nights till suddenly everything clicked and everyone was happy and rested. You have consistently taught her that she can cry for 30 minutes and then get what she wants. You're going to have to break this and it will be hard. You need to be consistent and firm.

[Anonymous]

I would probably just give up on naps if it were this difficult. Let her learn to nap when she's tired, like in the car or on a walk or whenever. If she's not sleeping because she's screaming, what is being accomplished? Hopefully she'll get out of this phase soon, but in the meantime it sounds like everyone is miserable.

[Anonymous]

Some kids really don't like to be put down for naps. I think for those kids there's almost nothing you can do. Maybe in a few months you can go down to one nap and then your daughter will be more tired and will fall alseep easier.

[Anonymous]

OP, my child woke at 25 minutes screaming too until we nap trained and got on a better schedule. Turned out he was undertired to sleep longer but then was pissed when he woke up and didn’t know how to fall back asleep. We didn’t have success til we lengthened his wake windows. Sleep training culture will scare you into thinking your child is chronically overtired, but just something to consider. I thought for sure my child was overtired but I was very wrong! Nap training was a breeze after we had the right wake windows in place.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with your expensive sleep consultant.

Full extinction, period. Go sleep on a different floor, put headphones in. The only way my daughter stopped was by doing this. The one or two times I went in to "reassure" her was just a trap and led her to more and more wakings, worse crying, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have tried every kind of sleep training and even hired a sleep consultant and nothing works with our eight- month-old. Night sleep is actually not horrible - in 12 hours she only wakes up twice just to nurse and goes right back to sleep. Naps are a nightmare. She’ll only sleep for 25 minutes and has to be nearly asleep before you put her down or she’ll scream for 30 minutes (the longest we let her go). Not crying, not fussing - the house-is-on-Fire-screaming.

Today I just gave up trying to get her to sleep longer. I can’t take the screaming anymore.

Not a FTM. My boys were never like this. I can only hope she grows out of this.

I officially have thrown in the towel.

Get a PT nanny who goes in knowing exactly what is going on. Then you get out of the house and let them handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you went in after 30 mins she learned if she screams long enough you will go in. If you are serious you need to not go back in. I sleep trained at 4.5 mos and the first night she cried for just over an hour. Yes I felt like a shit parent, yes I wanted to go in, but I didn’t. 2nd night was 30 mins, 3rd night 5 mins.... and done. We always put down drowsy but awake so she got used to falling asleep on her own.

OP here. Our expensive sleep consultant said to never let a baby cry for more than 30 minutes.

did they say why? My kid is 8 now with no adverse affects. Slept from 8pm 7am by 5.5 months. I was a much better parent during the day than I would have been waking up twice a night still.

OP here. Consultant said extended crying get them too jacked up (my term) for restful sleep. And something about stress hormones released. I was told to go in and nurse her/settle her and then try again. This made it worse. As I would walk from the chair to the crib she’d start screaming.

You got a horrible sleep consultant. Even the pediatrician gave me the go-ahead to do CIO, the stress hormone is not scientific whatsoever. My baby cried for nearly two hours the first night, five minutes the second, slept through the night ever since. What do you think is more stressful? Learning to fall asleep one night or not sleeping through the night for a year?

[Anonymous]

OP here with an update:

Since I started this thread, the baby started sleeping through the night (10 hours) on her own and extended her afternoon nap to 1.5 hours at least.

Weird, huh?

[Anonymous]

No advice, except just to say that our little one was also untrainable. He's a vomiter and a screamer. We threw in the towel after the fourth vomit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update:

Since I started this thread, the baby started sleeping through the night (10 hours) on her own and extended her afternoon nap to 1.5 hours at least.

Weird, huh?

Wonderful!