If money were no object, would you get a second nanny for newborn?

[Anonymous]

No. I found that having both of my kids together 24/7 made them best friends. Mine are 2 years apart and now at 2.5 and 4.5 they just love being together. My dd loved when ds was born and was thrilled he stayed with her all day. She got to take care of him (or at least we pretended) and then around 18 months he transitioned to her friend who talked and she could really play with. Recently the two have been upset that dd is off to kindergarten in the fall. Anyways I wouldn’t give up their close sibling relationship for anything. It was kind of a blessing that dd’s preK never opened this year.

She also reports on things that happen to him and how nanny treats both of them. So it’s comforting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. I would talk to the nanny about your concerns. Has she handled sibling transitions before? How does she envision things going once the baby comes?

Hit enter too soon.

As a nanny I have done the transition to a new sibling multiple times, including once with toddler twins and a new baby. I always have a clear plan of how the baby will fit into our lives (such as changing the siblings’ nap routine during mom’s pregnancy to better accommodate holding a baby, building quiet play into our day in intervals that will make it easy to feed and change baby, getting the toddler used to getting shoes and clothes on without help, finding playgrounds that are fenced in and easy to supervise the toddler while I hole a baby, etc.

This. Talk to your current nanny first.

Also, be careful because your current nanny could be offended if you choose to hire a second nanny when the new baby arrives. Maybe not, if you frame it in a way she agrees with (it gives her more time to focus on your older child, you want to make sure he gets plenty of support, etc.). But she may see it as you not trusting her abilities. Also, it could be awkward for her since she will eventually take over with the new baby, who will have been in the care of another nanny for several months. She may also view it as depriving her of an income opportunity, since if she was taking care of both children, she would likely get a higher hourly rate.

Not saying any of this will necessarily be the case -- depends on your nanny and the situation. But if you don't talk to her about it and figure out what she thinks about the situation, you could be risking the quality of your relationship with your longterm nanny. Tread lightly.

[Anonymous]

Having just had a newborn, I would have loved a babysitter to come by for some half days starting around 2 weeks. That would have really helped me out. Maybe after a month if 2 weeks seems too soon. I agree our nanny can’t take care of a baby and play with our toddler for more than 15 min here and there without it disrupting their day

[Anonymous]

Life is often disrupted, even when one is a toddler. Learning to cope with disruptions big and small is a skill toddlers can start to learn and use for the rest of their lives.

Unless a parent plans to try to protect their child from disruptions through their entire life, the birth of a sibling offers parents the chance to show their older child(ren) that even when something changes, they can adapt. Given the opportunity to learn and grow, children can amaze you with their skills and abilities. Dealing with change and disappointment cultivates and grows resiliency. Resilient children grow into resilient adults.

On the other hand, coddled and over-protected children often become adults who never learn to manage stress, change, set-backs, and failure. They expect mommy and daddy to rescue them from hard things their whole lives.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the baby - if it’s fine napping on the go and generally happy, then no. If its one that needs a strict Home based schedule then yes.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would hire a second nanny for a few months.

DS was barely two when our baby was born and my mom came to stay for three months. Mom took care of the baby and nanny kept her exact routine with our toddler. It really helped him adjust with all the new sounds and commotion going on. It comforted him that his whole world hadn’t gone topsy-turvy and his life was relatively the same. I was on full maternity leave so having my mom take the baby occasionally while I met DS and nanny on their outings was a huge treat for DS.

Slowly, nanny and DS’s routines changed to include the baby and he adjusted very easily. By the time my mom left, the baby was integrated into their days.

This second nanny would be for you like my mom was for us.

[Anonymous]

Wait and see if you’re dealing with sn, refusal of the crib, colic, etc.

[Anonymous]

Yes. It’ll be a gentler way to introduce sibling-hood to your toddler and an extra pair of hands.

[Anonymous]

Babies that young don’t need a lot of interaction. I would work out a plan maybe if you can take short breaks so if she needs to do a diaper change you can have a little story time with your oldest. I would think just a neighborhood student with some extra time to play in the mornings would be helpful since there is already a nanny there. Your 2.5 year old is probably still napping and you are going to be around in a pinch. Two nannies at one time seems more complicated than it’s worth.

I would definitely get a night nanny though, for all three months.

[Anonymous]

Yes! Have your nanny’s routines and attention be on your toddler and integrate the baby into their days slowly. Get a second nanny to help with the baby.

[Anonymous]

No.

If this would continue long term AND your child was school age and being homeschooled by the nanny, yes, it would make sense for 1-2 years. If you expect the nanny to take over the baby in three months? No, you’re just putting off your older child’s reaction to their schedule changing, so it would be better for the nanny to start making changes before the baby is born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd get a night nanny before I got a second daytime nanny.

This. You want your son to bond with baby too.

[Anonymous]

Any good nanny can care for more than one child

[Anonymous]

I would start by talking to the current nanny and getting her thoughts. I can see advantages, for sure. I am not a big believer in changing too many things at one time for a child. I could see a part-time sitter to help but maybe not a second nanny. Might that be a good balance?

[Anonymous]

No.