At what age should you stop showing with your kids?

[Anonymous]

At home I didn't shower with my mom but I did a lot of swimming as a kid and we had shared showers for ages (the ones where they're all centralized and not private stalls). It was fine.

[Anonymous]

I shower with and am naked in front of my 3 yr old DD and I don't see that stopping unless she gets uncomfortable. I'm not going out of my way to be naked in front of her or anything, but I change in front of her and showering with her is just easy, plus a really good way to teach her how to take care of her body and how to wash.

My mom was never naked in front of me as a kid and just generally very uncomfortable with her body and also communicated a lot of shame to me about my body that took me a long time to deal with and overcome. I recently watched that show PEN15, and the character Maya takes baths with her mom as a middle school kid and it's very tender and caring and normal, plus a time where they speak really honestly and with kindness towards each other about what is going on in Maya's life. Again, if my DD ever expresses discomfort about seeing me naked I will respect that boundary, but I actually think it's really healthy to have settings in which family members can be naked around each other where it is not at all sexual and there is no shaming.

It's different for my DH. He doesn't shower with DD and wouldn't feel comfortable doing that, though she does sometimes see him naked around the house and he's not weird about it. I don't think that will last much longer but I'm leaving it up to them to sort out. I do think I'd feel differently about it with a son, too. Again, it's not a sexual thing. It's more that since DD and I have the same body parts, it seems more natural/normal to be naked together. If you have different body parts, it invites more conversation about your body. Which isn't bad (again, no shame) but it changes the dynamics in a way that could be uncomfortable for a variety of reasons, and I understand why my DH is less comfortable with it.

[Anonymous]

Why would you ever shower with your kids? I never did. Nor did my husband. When they were too you g to shower themselves I gave them baths. Then I taught them how to shower themselves and let them complete that task on their own.

One time, my daughter and I took turns showering in the same stall at a campground, but we didn’t “pop in there together.” Why would you do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH stopped being nude around our daughter at age 5 or so. I'm still naked around my kids (oldest is a girl age 9).

I think with adults and kids of the same gender, you can do it until the kid asks you to stop. With adults and kids of opposite gender, I'd stop around 5 or 6.

I saw my dad's penis when I was 6 in the shower and I actually remember it. Like, I can picture the whole thing. It definitely freaked me out.

Same, except I think I was only like 4 or 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you ever shower with your kids? I never did. Nor did my husband. When they were too you g to shower themselves I gave them baths. Then I taught them how to shower themselves and let them complete that task on their own.

One time, my daughter and I took turns showering in the same stall at a campground, but we didn’t “pop in there together.” Why would you do that?

Some babies and toddlers cry and hate the bath; some hate to be showered alone. And for some kids, it's just faster to get them showered at the same time. Keeps them in the same place so they can be monitored easier while parent showers, might keep kid from crying for more time in the bath playing when more time isn't possible, etc.

That's cool that it was never necessary for your daughter. I have one kid who is easy going with bath time, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you ever shower with your kids? I never did. Nor did my husband. When they were too you g to shower themselves I gave them baths. Then I taught them how to shower themselves and let them complete that task on their own.

One time, my daughter and I took turns showering in the same stall at a campground, but we didn’t “pop in there together.” Why would you do that?

For me it started when my DD was around 18 months old and we spent a week at the beach. She'd never taken a shower before and obviously couldn't take one on her own, but beach means sand everywhere, including the swim diaper, so I would take her in the outdoor shower with me. She loved it and liked that we were doing it together. She continued to mostly take baths, but after that it became and occasional thing when she was resistant to a bath or we were short on time, or when we were traveling somewhere without a bathtub (happens a lot in Europe but also sometimes domestically). She was too young to shower on her own back then, so we did it together.

I discovered it was a great way to teach her how to wash properly, and better than the bath where it can be awkward to stand up and some places are hard to get to while seated. She was still too young to shower on her own.

I remember she also joined me in one of my baths a few times when she was that age. I take them to relax but she'd come wandering in because I had music on and it smelled nice, and sometimes I'd let her get in if the water wasn't too deep or too hot. It was nice and relaxing and sweet.

Why would this be strange to you? I also breastfed her when she was a baby. Heck, I gave birth to her. I don't think we'll be showering together when she's a teenager, but there's nothing weird about it. It's just different than what you are used to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you ever shower with your kids? I never did. Nor did my husband. When they were too you g to shower themselves I gave them baths. Then I taught them how to shower themselves and let them complete that task on their own.

One time, my daughter and I took turns showering in the same stall at a campground, but we didn’t “pop in there together.” Why would you do that?

DDs are 5 and 1. Our routine is baths for them, not showers. But we’ve done showers with them when we’ve been on beach vacations (just easier for getting all the sand off), and we’ve both helped our older DD with a quick shower in the family changing room at our pool. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

I just showered with my kids this evening for the first time in ages. 4.5yo dd and 2yo ds. Why? Because it was going to be the fastest way for us to all get clean, I didn't want them running wet around the bathroom, and ds was scared of the shower and dd thought it would be an adventure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH stopped being nude around our daughter at age 5 or so. I'm still naked around my kids (oldest is a girl age 9).

I think with adults and kids of the same gender, you can do it until the kid asks you to stop. With adults and kids of opposite gender, I'd stop around 5 or 6.

I saw my dad's penis when I was 6 in the shower and I actually remember it. Like, I can picture the whole thing. It definitely freaked me out.

Same, except I think I was only like 4 or 5.

For this reason - never. I never saw any of my male relatives naked. My mom - once or twice in a sauna, that's it.

[Anonymous]

I really thought this was about pregnancy and came to reply that my kids still show in my stomach even though the youngest is almost 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH stopped being nude around our daughter at age 5 or so. I'm still naked around my kids (oldest is a girl age 9).

I think with adults and kids of the same gender, you can do it until the kid asks you to stop. With adults and kids of opposite gender, I'd stop around 5 or 6.

I saw my dad's penis when I was 6 in the shower and I actually remember it. Like, I can picture the whole thing. It definitely freaked me out.

Same, except I think I was only like 4 or 5.

For this reason - never. I never saw any of my male relatives naked. My mom - once or twice in a sauna, that's it.

For this reason, we don't hide our body parts around our kids. I don't think it's healthy for kids to be freaked out by the human body. We're not nudists in our house by any stretch, and I grew up never seeing my parents naked, but I think it's generally a good thing for kids to normalize and desexualize anatomy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We are European and also Asian... and walk around naked from bedroom to bathroom all the time. We've all seen each other naked. Kids are teens. I don't think I will ever quite grasp why some people recoil in horror at nudity. Nudity does not equal sex.

+1
European here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really thought this was about pregnancy and came to reply that my kids still show in my stomach even though the youngest is almost 6.

Ahaha, same, sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We are European and also Asian... and walk around naked from bedroom to bathroom all the time. We've all seen each other naked. Kids are teens. I don't think I will ever quite grasp why some people recoil in horror at nudity. Nudity does not equal sex.

+1
European here

+1. Eastern European. Family has always been pretty casual about nudity.

[Anonymous]

I'll let you know. Mine are 5 and 7 and will wait outside the shower door until I'm done to tell me something urgent like there's a blue jay outside. When it's cold I use a robe, but I'm often doing some full body lotion and well, if they don't like seeing it then can stop watching any time and I will revel in the privacy. Until then? This is what a pudgy mom looks like kids!