Anonymous wrote:This is awesome! I am a single mom by choice and circumstance
. I became pregnant by someone who is not fit to be a part-time co-parent. I chose to keep the baby and seek full custody. I earn a mid-range salary for DC, $100-$110k. I have two advanced degrees and I am so happy I made this choice.
It has been difficult when I get tired or wish someone else could tag team with me on school, doctor's appointments and discipline. Then there is the stigma. I am non-white and I get some occasional strange comments from co-workers such as, "So how do you manage it all? You are so strong!". My kid's teachers also make little comments to my kid when she mentions her father's kids, such as, "So where do your other siblings live?"
Then there is dating. I prefer to date or partner with another single or divorced dad. They seem to really get the single parenting thing and are less judgmental, though most don't have full custody like I do.
Overall, single parenting is not the doom and gloom every statistic makes it out to be. I am really happy with my choice. I would not have another kid alone due to my level of exhaustion and the costs of childcare. Once I found my Single Parent Squad, we have really been able to help each other out.
Please share the single mom by choice groups and I suggest that you don't exclude people who did not use surrogates, IVF, sperm donors or other modern parenting pathways. Some single parents made choices to follow through with a pregnancy despite a less than ideal partner. I also think there are a few class and racial undertones to how people become single parents.
There is also a woman who is revamping research on single parent households by Dr. Bella DePaulo. She presents a fresh perspective on single parenting.
https://www.amazon.com/Single-Parents-Their-Children-Tells/dp/151485175X
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