At what age was your child old enough to be gentle with a pet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can avoid getting a pet if you have kids or thinking about having to them. Contrary to what some people believe they are not good training tools to see how you'd do with a baby, and they don't teach young kids all that much because you end up doing most of the work, They are an extra expense and require devotion to health care and training and monitoring interactions.

If you do get a pet I'd advise against it until the youngest child is between 8 and 10 years old, and then think carefully about the vibe of your household and get a pet that matches, ie don't get a dog that's bred to hunt , herd and run all day and expect her to lay happily on a rug by your heels.

That’s a shame. I grew up with dogs, as did my DH. We both feel our childhoods were all the better for having the love and companionship of a pet.

We don’t have a pet, but our 5yo DD has spent copious amounts of time around my parents’ beagle. She’s been taught to be very gentle and respectful with all animals, and we’ve had no issues.
I don’t think there’s going to be a consensus on age. As with many things, it depends on the temperament of both the child and the pet in question.

[Anonymous]

I’m a dog trainer. The number one piece of advice I can recommend is to teach your kids to never approach the animal, let the animal approach them. Then the critter only comes where they are comfortable, doesn’t feel cornered, and if kid isn’t appropriate they won’t come near.

[Anonymous]

I don't know OP I think it mostly that part of your personality as a pet loving person or not. You can only teach so much. I had pets growing up and have loved them since I remember. My friend visited us when her DD was around 3yo, she was so gentle with my cat petting her though they don't have pets. My 7yo DC has ignored our cat since day 1 and we can tell he is not a pet person. He is always kind to animals though likes playing with dogs for brief periods and has slowly warmed up to our cat petting her on occasion.

[Anonymous]

Around age three. Honestly the kids and dog mostly ignore each other because they are used to each other. A new pet would be a change and therefore more interesting.

[Anonymous]

My son is 10 now and has been able to be gentle with our cat since he was 4. Though admittedly he did have some practice with his stuffed lion that we got him when he was in preschool. He still has it and still lovingly cares for it.

[Anonymous]

I had ADHD and was very gentle with animals. I have hyperfocus when it comes to them. My same age cousin with ADHD was not gentle, very impulsive, until 10 or so.

Anyway.

My kid couldn't *really* be trusted 100% of the time with our small animals until 5. I think that's on the low end, even-- but I'm talking hamster or guinea pig. A cat has more defenses. I hear people saying they had a 3 year old who was fine but I'm skeptical-- not of the fact that they were gentle and continued to be-- but that the parents could let down their guards when the kid was 3. That seems problematic. Even very kind, empathetic and/or obedient preschoolers are still preschoolers. I don't think you can relax until later.

[Anonymous]

I would have trusted my kids with a tiny animal at any age but I don't know any other kid I would trust. They are generally very respectful of the feelings of other beings (even spiders).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can avoid getting a pet if you have kids or thinking about having to them. Contrary to what some people believe they are not good training tools to see how you'd do with a baby, and they don't teach young kids all that much because you end up doing most of the work, They are an extra expense and require devotion to health care and training and monitoring interactions.

If you do get a pet I'd advise against it until the youngest child is between 8 and 10 years old, and then think carefully about the vibe of your household and get a pet that matches, ie don't get a dog that's bred to hunt , herd and run all day and expect her to lay happily on a rug by your heels.

That’s a shame. I grew up with dogs, as did my DH. We both feel our childhoods were all the better for having the love and companionship of a pet.

We don’t have a pet, but our 5yo DD has spent copious amounts of time around my parents’ beagle. She’s been taught to be very gentle and respectful with all animals, and we’ve had no issues.
I don’t think there’s going to be a consensus on age. As with many things, it depends on the temperament of both the child and the pet in question.

yeah, I grew up with pets too, but the vast majority of people have no business having pets with kids under 8 in the house. If I had a penny for every arent who claimed their child was gentle with pets and so loving I would be a multi-millionaire.

[Anonymous]

Our beloved cat died when the youngest was 1. We has the cat pre-kids and she tolerated them as toddlers, but there was the occasional tail pulling, chasing etc. We did not get another cat until my youngest was almost 6 and the kids were all fine with a pet by then.

[Anonymous]

Pretty much always for both of them. We had an small, elderly dog when they were born so they grew up with the idea that they had to be very gentle with all pets (we also had a younger dog). Still, we didn't set anyone up for failure by leaving them alone together either, so I think this makes a difference. I'd say by 4, maybe 5, we could trust them unsupervised with any pets, young or old.

[Anonymous]

My 4 year old loves our dog, but we constantly have to remind her not to grab the dogs collar, pull on her ears, etc. The dog is a solid 18 month old lab, so they cannot be together unsupervised because the dog can also get wound up and jump or take DDs stuffed animal away, though it's getting better. Our previous dog, who was a senior dog when DD was born was very good at avoiding her when he didn't want to interact, I expect many cats would do that too. So I guess this would depend on whether you think the requisite level of supervision for your kid is worth it for getting another cat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine has always been gentle (she is also 4). But our cat, who is also getting quite old, is not always friendly. We knew from the get ho that we would need to foster that relationship carefully on both sides. DD has grown up knowing that the cat is NOT a toy, stuffed animal, her baby, etc. We have trained them to give each other space and DD understands clearly when the cat is safe to approach and when it’s best to leave him alone. But it took a lot of work on our part.

The upside is that it has been a great way for DD to learn boundaries, respect, reading body language, etc. She and the cat are now really sweet with each other. DD is in charge of getting him dinner and will keep an eye on his water bowl and let us know when it’s empty. She will also track down his favorite toy and nestle it next to him when he’s napping, or make him a little bed with blankets in the sun because she knows he likes napping in the sunshine. It’s the cutest.

What a wonderful relationship your child and cat have - all the work was worth it! And your child is learning to care for someone else, to thinka bout what they like (special toy) and to care for other people (feeding and watching out for water). Your child will always remember this cat, and the next cats you get - I missed my cats and my parents when I went to college!

[Anonymous]

My DD is 7 and I still have to monitor her interactions with our two cats and step in quite often (usually some form of smothering/picking up/crowding space). I thought she would have grown out of it by now. I was a gentle kid so I thought she would be too. Joke's on me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 7 and I still have to monitor her interactions with our two cats and step in quite often (usually some form of smothering/picking up/crowding space). I thought she would have grown out of it by now. I was a gentle kid so I thought she would be too. Joke's on me!

+1. Right now!

[Anonymous]

My kids (1.5 and 5) are ok around our 2 cats. This is mostly because the cats are salty middle aged men who will gladly give someone a big old bonk or nip if they get annoyed. Or they’ll just get up and walk away to one of their safe zones where the kids can’t get to them. Not sure what I’d do if I had, like, tiny kittens, or a bigger dog who could actually do some harm if it got into a conflict with a child. But I don’t worry about the cats.