Park/public space etiquette

[Anonymous]

This is a non issue. Who gives a shit what someone did when they were leaving? The goal was to get your kid on the toy, and you got your kid on the toy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if it wasn't your intent, you possibly came off as passive aggressive. You could have redirected your young daughter instead of allowing her to fuss in front of the older kids.

+1

[Anonymous]

I don’t really notice other toddlers. If my kid was riding something and I was chatting with a friend, I doubt I would be paying attention to you or your toddler.

Not sure why you think she was being passive aggressive.

If my daughter was on a swing and didn’t get off right away, I may say the same.

[Anonymous]

You were being controlling when you tried to get them off of the car toy.

It's just not your call.

You should not have promised your daughter she could have another turn before she left. That was your mistake.

I'm on team other moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it was a truly limited resource, like a swing, I would notice you waiting and say OK 10 more pushes and then it’s time to get off. If there’s an obvious line waiting, and it’s a common occurrence that a line is waiting, I would tell my child OK a few more and then it’s somebody else’s turn. If your child just happens to want wha my child has, then your child can wait till my child is done.

I will say this, your child is old enough to understand waiting. You say to them, someone else is using that. Let’s do something else.

I agree with all this. I wouldn't have stood there waiting while my kid fussed. I would have said "we can wait patiently, play something else, or leave."

[Anonymous]

I don't think you read my post. I never promised my daughter "another" turn (we hadn't gone on at all), or promised her anything, so I'm not sure where you got that from. She's also 18 months so her concept of promise is not there yet anyway.

I'm not looking for you or anyone to be on my side or my team (huh?), but what is public space etiquette who is unfamiliar with what are norms for areas/things that are shared, as a first time mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you read my post. I never promised my daughter "another" turn (we hadn't gone on at all), or promised her anything, so I'm not sure where you got that from. She's also 18 months so her concept of promise is not there yet anyway.

I'm not looking for you or anyone to be on my side or my team (huh?), but what is public space etiquette who is unfamiliar with what are norms for areas/things that are shared, as a first time mom.

Oops, sorry, I am new to the forum and forgot to add the quoted post I was replying to.

[Anonymous]

During covid its not a great idea to be sharing those toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were being controlling when you tried to get them off of the car toy.

It's just not your call.

You should not have promised your daughter she could have another turn before she left. That was your mistake.

I'm on team other moms.

Oh look, the other moms found the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FTM here, my daughter is now 18 months. We were at the park and towards the end of our outing, she wanted to “ride” these vehicle things for kids (before we left (not real vehicles obviously, they just go on them and pretend, no idea if there’s a name for them lol), she loves them. The few times we have been there, if they are all taken up (there’s 5), a line forms and kids take turns. Well I had noticed two other moms (obviously friends), with their kids had been there for about 10-15 minutes, so I “start” a line, keeping my distance. My daughter got a little fussy Bc she doesn’t understand waiting, but I held her and told her that we had to wait our turn. Honestly I kind of assumed they would make one of their kids take turns on one of the things. I feel like I’m very considerate with public spaces, and if I know there’s someone waiting and it’s been a few minutes, I take my daughter off whatever and tel her our time is up. Instead, they left, I’m assumjng bc my daughter kept fussing, and one of them very passive aggressively said “thanks for waiting patiently.” Huh?!

Go to the park earlier or teach your kid not to fuss and figure out something else to do. You missed an excellent teaching moment. Or you could’ve told one of the other kids their turn was over if you felt so strongly about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FTM here, my daughter is now 18 months. We were at the park and towards the end of our outing, she wanted to “ride” these vehicle things for kids (before we left (not real vehicles obviously, they just go on them and pretend, no idea if there’s a name for them lol), she loves them. The few times we have been there, if they are all taken up (there’s 5), a line forms and kids take turns. Well I had noticed two other moms (obviously friends), with their kids had been there for about 10-15 minutes, so I “start” a line, keeping my distance. My daughter got a little fussy Bc she doesn’t understand waiting, but I held her and told her that we had to wait our turn. Honestly I kind of assumed they would make one of their kids take turns on one of the things. I feel like I’m very considerate with public spaces, and if I know there’s someone waiting and it’s been a few minutes, I take my daughter off whatever and tel her our time is up. Instead, they left, I’m assumjng bc my daughter kept fussing, and one of them very passive aggressively said “thanks for waiting patiently.” Huh?!

Go to the park earlier or (1)teach your kid not to fuss and figure out something else to do. You missed an excellent teaching moment. Or (2)you could’ve told one of the other kids their turn was over if you felt so strongly about it.

1) Yes!

2) Please, don’t!

[Anonymous]

"teaching an 18 month old not to fuss"????? How do y'all do that, slap them silly every time they cry until they learn to never cry and fuss?

18 month olds have a hard time waiting. It's a fact. OP, I think I'd just grow a thicker skin and ignore the woman's comment. You said they'd been on it for 15 minutes already when you approached. They had, between them, enough kids to occupy all the cars, and they didn't do anything like ask 2 to share one so your toddler could have her own, which is what I would have done given my kids already had 15 minutes on them.

(If my kid had just gotten on, I'd let them have a turn before I'd ask them to get off for someone else.

Just don't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

OP, most people here in dmv won't care. they'll just use the equipment and ignore you.

I've learned by experience.

But I still pay attention to younger and older kids and make sure my kid knows how and when to share as well as when to stand up for for himself (he's 5 now).

The etiquette in a less entitled area would be that everyone pays attention and takes turns. As you can see from the responses on this thread and the behavior in the park, that's not the case around here. However, you are not alone. While a minority, perfectly kind and thoughtful people can be found on DMV playgrounds, supervising their kids and considering others around them.

[Anonymous]

I always made my kids get off things if kids were waiting a turn, but sadly other parents didn’t. They have this notion that sharing is bad and use the excuse “I wouldn’t walk up to a stranger and ask to share her phone! Why should my kid share the swing”—it makes me crazy and is honestly why I think we are in the state of the country that we are in—every man for themselves. Parents teaching their kids that their needs are of utmost importance over everyone else. Parents teaching their kids that their happiness is paramount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After a reasonable amount of time, I'd say something like, "Would you mind if we took a quick turn for a few minutes? It's almost her nap time, and I'd told her she could ride one more time before we left." Some people just respond better to direct communications than to quietly pointed ones.

But I'm unclear: if there were five of these vehicles, why couldn't your child have ridden one of the three not taken up by the kids of these two moms? Or did they have five kids between them?

This.