My School's DL is Awful and I'm Angry

[Anonymous]

He’s still in elementary. So what if he doesn’t get to stay in AAP in middle school? All Honors classes and AP classes are open enrollment in high school anyway. His college prospects won’t be affected by his performance in elementary or even middle school. It just doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

If you must stick with this school, then I would sit down with your son and work the problem.

The things he needs:
Decent grades
Learn enough of the material to not flounder next year

In a normal year those goals would be connected but this year they aren’t. He cannot learn this through school, so the goal is for you and him to find a way for him to learn it on his own and a separate solution that keeps his grades up.

For example:
He logs in, mutes the lecture and watches khan academy or reads a book that covers the same basic material, then does the homework.

You also need to stay on top of the teachers and force them to either give clear assignments or to grade based on effort rather than a rubric that wasn’t clearly defined. If any homework is unclear, I would immediately reformat the assignment and email it to the teacher for clarification. E.g., if they say “perform an experiment using popsicles sticks that shows how simple machines impact force.. Track your findings and write a 5-paragraph essay that explores why your hypothesis was right or wrong.” I would immediately break it down into steps and them email the teacher:
“As we understand this assignment, you want Larlo to
1) form a hypothesis about how the use of a specific simple machine (such as a lever or pulley) can change the amount or direction of force
2) design an experiment to test that hypothesis using popsicle sticks as the building material for the simple machine
3) execute the experiment, taking notes about his observations
4) analyze the observations and the validity of the hypothesis in a 5-paragraph essay
Larlo will be doing this assignment as I have outlined unless you would like to correct our interpretation by X time and day.”

Then it’s on them to either clarify or grade on your best understanding of their unclear notes.

[Anonymous]

I would not worry about AAP so early. Kids mature at different rates. You can take AP classes in HS without being in AAP. I struggled in middle school as it was a very rigid environment. Did not work well for me. I improved in HS, went to a mediocre college where I had a great experience and then an Ivy for my doctorate. Everyone does not follow the straight and narrow path and that is more than ok. Give him a bit of a break this year and then reassess

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thank you for the helpful comments. We are in Fairfax. I really want to just relax and not worry about this school year, but the school puts so much pressure on us - but unfortunately he goes to middle school next year and has to qualify for advanced classes this year. If he doesn't then for some of those classes there will not be another chance, and that will affect him all the way through high school and ultimately limit his choice of colleges. This is a big source of stress for him because he is aware that he needs to do well in order to stay in the AAP program he has been in.

No it won’t! Trust me it won’t! It feels that way but it’s not true. Worry about his mental health.

There was a random thread years ago of adults who were over achievers and I would say half were not doing well and were not happy adults

I had parents who believed this stuff (in FCPS) too. I don’t speak to my mother all now. Ran away from home, self abuse. It was bad.. So so so much therapy to deal. It’s a mixed bag - fiends raised like me who were sucesssful and friends not raised like me who are successful

Happiness - start there

Get an online therapist too

I agree with you. My husband and I are both overachievers from overachieving families. I'm OP and I have suggested to my husband that maybe we need to just let it go, but he isn't convinced and I'm not sure we can convince our son even if we can convince ourselves. Online therapist is in the works, though. At this point we probably all need therapy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s still in elementary. So what if he doesn’t get to stay in AAP in middle school? All Honors classes and AP classes are open enrollment in high school anyway. His college prospects won’t be affected by his performance in elementary or even middle school. It just doesn’t matter.

The highest level AP classes in math are only available to students who place into Algebra in 7th grade. Va Tech won't consider applications from kids who aren't in the highest level AP math class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thank you for the helpful comments. We are in Fairfax. I really want to just relax and not worry about this school year, but the school puts so much pressure on us - but unfortunately he goes to middle school next year and has to qualify for advanced classes this year. If he doesn't then for some of those classes there will not be another chance, and that will affect him all the way through high school and ultimately limit his choice of colleges. This is a big source of stress for him because he is aware that he needs to do well in order to stay in the AAP program he has been in.

No it won’t! Trust me it won’t! It feels that way but it’s not true. Worry about his mental health.

There was a random thread years ago of adults who were over achievers and I would say half were not doing well and were not happy adults

I had parents who believed this stuff (in FCPS) too. I don’t speak to my mother all now. Ran away from home, self abuse. It was bad.. So so so much therapy to deal. It’s a mixed bag - fiends raised like me who were sucesssful and friends not raised like me who are successful

Happiness - start there

Get an online therapist too

I agree with you. My husband and I are both overachievers from overachieving families. I'm OP and I have suggested to my husband that maybe we need to just let it go, but he isn't convinced and I'm not sure we can convince our son even if we can convince ourselves. Online therapist is in the works, though. At this point we probably all need therapy

I’m glad you are getting help. My life would be so different if my parents listened to their friends and got help.

My brother finally realized the type A school his daughter was in was killing her after her first and thankfully last suicide attempt at age 14. His wife was not going to cover it up and send her back to the fancy private that makes him feel successful. Daughter is a million times happier, got her soul back and is a thriving adult. She also ended up at a very competitive college too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s still in elementary. So what if he doesn’t get to stay in AAP in middle school? All Honors classes and AP classes are open enrollment in high school anyway. His college prospects won’t be affected by his performance in elementary or even middle school. It just doesn’t matter.

The highest level AP classes in math are only available to students who place into Algebra in 7th grade. Va Tech won't consider applications from kids who aren't in the highest level AP math class.

A student can always take a summer class to get back on track.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid had a similar situation (a little older) ended up suicidal and is now being treated at an inpatient resident program. Please take this seriously, find him a therapist, pull him from this situation. Tell him you love him and his happiness and mental health are more important than any grade. Find a different school situation for this year - tutor, homeschool, whatever, and try to find a private for next year. If this sounds expensive, believe me when I tell you that it will be significantly more expensive if it gets worse.

Good luck!!

OP here - we did try to find a private. Every single one is full, most with long waitlists. Otherwise, I would do this without hesitation.

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher in FCPS and I strongly encourage you to put your concerns in writing to the teacher, guidance counselor, principal, region superintendent, School Board member for your area, and the Gatehouse AAP office. Believe me when I tell you that the squeaky wheel gets the grease in the county.

There is no reason to put up with lousy distance learning and every parent needs to complain about it, if it happens. He can have his teachers changed.

He is eligible for AAP through 8th grade if he is eligible now. Ask the AAP office at Gatehouse to walk you that and how it works. Nothing now affects his college chances, and that is way too much pressure for him to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you must stick with this school, then I would sit down with your son and work the problem.

The things he needs:
Decent grades
Learn enough of the material to not flounder next year

In a normal year those goals would be connected but this year they aren’t. He cannot learn this through school, so the goal is for you and him to find a way for him to learn it on his own and a separate solution that keeps his grades up.

For example:
He logs in, mutes the lecture and watches khan academy or reads a book that covers the same basic material, then does the homework.

You also need to stay on top of the teachers and force them to either give clear assignments or to grade based on effort rather than a rubric that wasn’t clearly defined. If any homework is unclear, I would immediately reformat the assignment and email it to the teacher for clarification. E.g., if they say “perform an experiment using popsicles sticks that shows how simple machines impact force.. Track your findings and write a 5-paragraph essay that explores why your hypothesis was right or wrong.” I would immediately break it down into steps and them email the teacher:
“As we understand this assignment, you want Larlo to
1) form a hypothesis about how the use of a specific simple machine (such as a lever or pulley) can change the amount or direction of force
2) design an experiment to test that hypothesis using popsicle sticks as the building material for the simple machine
3) execute the experiment, taking notes about his observations
4) analyze the observations and the validity of the hypothesis in a 5-paragraph essay
Larlo will be doing this assignment as I have outlined unless you would like to correct our interpretation by X time and day.”

Then it’s on them to either clarify or grade on your best understanding of their unclear notes.

This is really horrible advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s still in elementary. So what if he doesn’t get to stay in AAP in middle school? All Honors classes and AP classes are open enrollment in high school anyway. His college prospects won’t be affected by his performance in elementary or even middle school. It just doesn’t matter.

The highest level AP classes in math are only available to students who place into Algebra in 7th grade. Va Tech won't consider applications from kids who aren't in the highest level AP math class.

A student can always take a summer class to get back on track.

Really? Our HS math chair said it wasn't a good idea because all the kids who do a summer class struggle in the next level up because the summer class doesn't cover enough material. I'm not convinced she's really a reliable source, though. I've heard her math class isn't very good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thank you for the helpful comments. We are in Fairfax. I really want to just relax and not worry about this school year, but the school puts so much pressure on us - but unfortunately he goes to middle school next year and has to qualify for advanced classes this year. If he doesn't then for some of those classes there will not be another chance, and that will affect him all the way through high school and ultimately limit his choice of colleges. This is a big source of stress for him because he is aware that he needs to do well in order to stay in the AAP program he has been in.

Other than math, which advanced MS classes does he need to "qualify" for?

If he's in L4 AAP, he automatically qualifies to be in L4 English, science, and history in seventh grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s still in elementary. So what if he doesn’t get to stay in AAP in middle school? All Honors classes and AP classes are open enrollment in high school anyway. His college prospects won’t be affected by his performance in elementary or even middle school. It just doesn’t matter.

The highest level AP classes in math are only available to students who place into Algebra in 7th grade. Va Tech won't consider applications from kids who aren't in the highest level AP math class.

This is not true at all.

My godson is a freshman at VT, and he "only" took Calculus AB his senior year (after taking Algebra 1 in 8th grade).

My nephew is a senior at VT, and he also "only" took Caculus AB his senior year.

[Anonymous]

Our MCPS 6th is doing a great job for the most part. That's too bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid had a similar situation (a little older) ended up suicidal and is now being treated at an inpatient resident program. Please take this seriously, find him a therapist, pull him from this situation. Tell him you love him and his happiness and mental health are more important than any grade. Find a different school situation for this year - tutor, homeschool, whatever, and try to find a private for next year. If this sounds expensive, believe me when I tell you that it will be significantly more expensive if it gets worse.

Good luck!!

OP here - we did try to find a private. Every single one is full, most with long waitlists. Otherwise, I would do this without hesitation.

Try some of the smaller less known schools or Catholics.