Please tell me it gets better!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had the sweetest kid who was loving, funny and a joy to be around. He cared about school and grades, sports, music and other things. He has turned into an obnoxious 14 yo HS who is lazy, rude, disrespectful, ungrateful and doesn’t care about his parents or brother or anything else. He just want to spend time playing Minecraft and chatting with his friend on discord and does nothing to help out at home.
We are immigrants and have worked so hard to provide for them. I feel so down about what he has become and can’t stop thinking that I am responsible for making him this way. He was such a bright kid but his future seems so bleak now. It just makes me so sad. I just hope that they turn around before it becomes too late.

Is he going through a growth spurt by any chance? I find my teen and tween are the worst when growing. Part of it is hormonal and part is I think being starving all the time no matter what you eat can make you cranky and part is the biological drive to start testing the waters as you start to slowly separate from parents.

[Anonymous]

I have a 17 yr old DS. The attitude was at its worst at 14. Now he's very cooperative and pleasant to be around, when he can be persuaded to be around us. He's still in that teen-boy cocooning phase where he's in his room or TV room all the time and mainly talks to his friends.

I hope we can have an actual conversation by the time he's 20.

[Anonymous]

Mine is now 18 and things are much better. But 14/15 was tough. I found this book helpful - "Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager".

[Anonymous]

This is OP. Thank you all for your comments. It makes me feel better that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keeping fingers crossed that it comes soon😃

[Anonymous]

A lot of kids are depressed right now due to Covid and virtual school. It is possible this is more a mental health issue than a teen issue. If your child no longer enjoys the things he used to do and seems to have had a personality change consider therapy.

[Anonymous]

My teen has lost all motivation to do anything other than sit in their room and play games/ chat during school. There is no motivation/ desire to do anything like try to get a job during summer or any afterschool activities. Are others experiencing the same? Is it teen effect or COVID effect? I am so tired of this non-sense. Cant wait to get back to normal. Fu.... CHINA for spreading the virus and doing this to the entire world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had the sweetest kid who was loving, funny and a joy to be around. He cared about school and grades, sports, music and other things. He has turned into an obnoxious 14 yo HS who is lazy, rude, disrespectful, ungrateful and doesn’t care about his parents or brother or anything else. He just want to spend time playing Minecraft and chatting with his friend on discord and does nothing to help out at home.
We are immigrants and have worked so hard to provide for them. I feel so down about what he has become and can’t stop thinking that I am responsible for making him this way. He was such a bright kid but his future seems so bleak now. It just makes me so sad. I just hope that they turn around before it becomes too late.

This is normal part of becoming his own person. Still, you are treated the way you allow people to treat you so if he is rude, he doesn't get wifi. If he doesn't complete chores, no wifi. Etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had the sweetest kid who was loving, funny and a joy to be around. He cared about school and grades, sports, music and other things. He has turned into an obnoxious 14 yo HS who is lazy, rude, disrespectful, ungrateful and doesn’t care about his parents or brother or anything else. He just want to spend time playing Minecraft and chatting with his friend on discord and does nothing to help out at home.
We are immigrants and have worked so hard to provide for them. I feel so down about what he has become and can’t stop thinking that I am responsible for making him this way. He was such a bright kid but his future seems so bleak now. It just makes me so sad. I just hope that they turn around before it becomes too late.

I think the times we live in are more stressful. Not excusing his behavior but perhaps you can do things together to bond over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had the sweetest kid who was loving, funny and a joy to be around. He cared about school and grades, sports, music and other things. He has turned into an obnoxious 14 yo HS who is lazy, rude, disrespectful, ungrateful and doesn’t care about his parents or brother or anything else. He just want to spend time playing Minecraft and chatting with his friend on discord and does nothing to help out at home.
We are immigrants and have worked so hard to provide for them. I feel so down about what he has become and can’t stop thinking that I am responsible for making him this way. He was such a bright kid but his future seems so bleak now. It just makes me so sad. I just hope that they turn around before it becomes too late.

I think the times we live in are more stressful. Not excusing his behavior but perhaps you can do things together to bond over?

Forgot to add if you don't do something it isn't going to magically get better.

[Anonymous]

I was a horrible teen and didn’t get better until I was maybe 22.