"I love you" letter or "first choice letter"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a full pay family and you kid is bright and well behaved then, yes, write a first choice letter.

In these economic times it helps schools to know what their FA budget is going into making FA decisions and best place for them to be in to make those decisions is to know for sure how many parents who are full pay are def going to commit if offered a spot.

Do people really inform schools that they will be full pay? We did not say one way or the other to any of the schools where our daughter applied several years ago and it didn't hurt her. Schools always say that the financial aid process is separate from admissions - perhaps I was naive to believe that?? Genuinely curious if most full pay families are overt about their ability to pay.

I'm PP above and we didn't tell the school we were full pay either in person or in our letters but we also didnt apply for FA so we just assumed they knew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are a full pay family and you kid is bright and well behaved then, yes, write a first choice letter.

In these economic times it helps schools to know what their FA budget is going into making FA decisions and best place for them to be in to make those decisions is to know for sure how many parents who are full pay are def going to commit if offered a spot.

What? That makes no sense. There are plenty of amazing kids applying to multiple schools whose parents need financial assistance. Why wouldn’t a parent with a clear first choice let the school know? Regardless of income.

OP- write a letter that is sincere and to the point. Why do you think that school (more than any other) would be the best educational environment for your child? Why do you think your family will be a good fit for the school community?

You don’t have to write about being full pay; it will make you sound obnoxious. The school will notice the absence of a financial aid application and figure that out for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just wrote a letter stating it would be nice to get an acceptance for the child of an alumni. The head of the board wrote similar in support.

ralph

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I was told by the admissions staffer at a big3 (at a school event mid-year once my kid was in the school) NOT to write them. They often turn-off members of the committee.

Really? I've heard just the opposite from admissions people at Potomac, the Cathedral Schools and Maret. They don't want long winded letters, but they do care about yield -- and a brief note that it is your first choice may help, but won't hurt.

You asked all three about writing a "first choice" letter? How many are you planning on writing?

Two of these people I know socially. The other is not a social contact, but is the Admissions Director at my kid’s school. Another family had advocated for a student. She told them that the applicant’s family should write a brief note about 1st choice.

[Anonymous]

I think a sincere (and true) note about a school being your student’s first choice can be helpful. In my son’s 8th-grade class, the students who wrote one generally seemed to find more success, and he himself got into his first-choice Big 3 school after such a letter.

Of course, even if there is some disproportionate success rate, it may be because the very same factors that might lead someone to write a letter could be the same factors that make the students attractive to that school (good fit, alignment of priorities, etc.). I really don’t think it can hurt. But, as others have said, it has to be true — so only one first-choice letter can be sent — and it should clearly connect the unique attributes of the school with the student.

[Anonymous]

I keep debating this. It feels awkward writing one but then I get nervous that DS won't get into our 1st choice and I will regret not writing one.

[Anonymous]

We wrote one and my kid was waitlisted. There just weren't spots after all the siblings and legacy and VIPs were admitted. We had no way of knowing this during the admissions process but found out after the fact from friends in the school who knew who matriculated.

I regret writing that letter because then I felt like an idiot for putting out golden egg in a basket that didn't have space. We're applying again and I'm not writing anything. It hurts more when you lay your cards on the table and the school says "nope". It also feels very vulnerable to write one. Like there is no mystery to your application And it feels desperate. "Please, please, please take my kid". UGH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We wrote one and my kid was waitlisted. There just weren't spots after all the siblings and legacy and VIPs were admitted. We had no way of knowing this during the admissions process but found out after the fact from friends in the school who knew who matriculated.

I regret writing that letter because then I felt like an idiot for putting out golden egg in a basket that didn't have space. We're applying again and I'm not writing anything. It hurts more when you lay your cards on the table and the school says "nope". It also feels very vulnerable to write one. Like there is no mystery to your application And it feels desperate. "Please, please, please take my kid". UGH.

I agree with this. It does feel desperate and unnecessary. One thing I have been thinking about is whether we should have sent thank you cards or emails after interviews. I thought about it but decided not to.

[Anonymous]

If you have an honest first choice you should inform that school.

[Anonymous]

When you come from a private K-8, K-6, K-3, or K-2 and apply to a new school, the HOS advocates on your child behalf and let’s the new school know if it’s your first choice. If it’s a competitive school, we were told our child would not be accepted unless they know you plan to accept. We were told by HOS when looking at schools like Sidwell, GDS, or Cathedral School that we should pick one to apply to because there was no point in applying to 2 or more. The schools want control of their yield so don’t want to risk accepting someone that will say no and go to the other school. So first choice letters play a role at some schools with some kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you come from a private K-8, K-6, K-3, or K-2 and apply to a new school, the HOS advocates on your child behalf and let’s the new school know if it’s your first choice. If it’s a competitive school, we were told our child would not be accepted unless they know you plan to accept. We were told by HOS when looking at schools like Sidwell, GDS, or Cathedral School that we should pick one to apply to because there was no point in applying to 2 or more. The schools want control of their yield so don’t want to risk accepting someone that will say no and go to the other school. So first choice letters play a role at some schools with some kids.

This doesn’t make any sense. The schools are not legally allowed to collude on admissions decisions. Therefore, if you apply to one you may as well apply to all. It sounds to me like your HOS is trying to restrict your application options in order to improve the total number of kids that get accepted to one of these schools. That’s too bad.

[Anonymous]

When I asked this at our k-8, I was told it depends on where you are applying.

What's your first choice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a full pay family and you kid is bright and well behaved then, yes, write a first choice letter.

In these economic times it helps schools to know what their FA budget is going into making FA decisions and best place for them to be in to make those decisions is to know for sure how many parents who are full pay are def going to commit if offered a spot.

Do people really inform schools that they will be full pay? We did not say one way or the other to any of the schools where our daughter applied several years ago and it didn't hurt her. Schools always say that the financial aid process is separate from admissions - perhaps I was naive to believe that?? Genuinely curious if most full pay families are overt about their ability to pay.

You have to indicate if you are applying for financial aid, so yes, they know if you are full pay or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you come from a private K-8, K-6, K-3, or K-2 and apply to a new school, the HOS advocates on your child behalf and let’s the new school know if it’s your first choice. If it’s a competitive school, we were told our child would not be accepted unless they know you plan to accept. We were told by HOS when looking at schools like Sidwell, GDS, or Cathedral School that we should pick one to apply to because there was no point in applying to 2 or more. The schools want control of their yield so don’t want to risk accepting someone that will say no and go to the other school. So first choice letters play a role at some schools with some kids.

This doesn’t make any sense. The schools are not legally allowed to collude on admissions decisions. Therefore, if you apply to one you may as well apply to all. It sounds to me like your HOS is trying to restrict your application options in order to improve the total number of kids that get accepted to one of these schools. That’s too bad.

THat's not collusion, that's bad advice from HOS.

What the HOS should have said is that if you apply to only one we'll make that clear to them that it's your first (and only) choice among the top schools. That said, they could say nearly the same thing even if you applied to more than one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you come from a private K-8, K-6, K-3, or K-2 and apply to a new school, the HOS advocates on your child behalf and let’s the new school know if it’s your first choice. If it’s a competitive school, we were told our child would not be accepted unless they know you plan to accept. We were told by HOS when looking at schools like Sidwell, GDS, or Cathedral School that we should pick one to apply to because there was no point in applying to 2 or more. The schools want control of their yield so don’t want to risk accepting someone that will say no and go to the other school. So first choice letters play a role at some schools with some kids.

This may have been advice targeted towards your child in particular...our child applied to 4 of these highly competitive schools and was not redirected by HOS to do otherwise. Child was accepted to 3 of 4. Child had no favorite and we were worried it would affect their chances if they didn't indicate their specific interest in one of them. We were told not to worry about it. For some of the schools, it was merely the case that writing a letter wouldn't make a difference because they assume they are everyone's favorite. For others, I think it was because the HOS could honestly communicate to the schools that there was sincere interest of attending.

On the backside, however, if your child ends of WL somewhere for HS that they really want to attend, I have seen it make a difference if the child (not the parent) reaches out and shows interest. Perhaps by including an additional piece of work or achievement that wasn't available at the time of the application process. Such as a significant writing assignment done in 8th grade or some significant art project, instrumental or musical performance.

All this aside - I do think a favorite letter could matter at places like Potomac - that competes with DC schools or at some of the catholic schools that compete against each other. You'll want to let them know they are top choice so they don't assume your child has credentials to get into the competition and might prefer the competition to their own school. I've seen many be WL at Potomac or at competing catholic schools in such cases.