Paying embryo storage fees when we’re 100% done

[Anonymous]

I'm almost 42, have a 6yo, and have 5 embryos in storage. We're one and done but I have kept paying the fees. I like what the other poster said about hitting 45 and then discarding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can move them to another storage facility that is less expensive, if you want to keep options open until you are a certain age.

Looking up articles on this helped me greatly. The vast, vast majority end up thawing and discarding embryos eventually (98%).

Donating to science is really, really elusive if you want something meaning ful, versus a lab technician practicing working with embryos for their training.

We faced this after years of storage fees. Thought one and done, but did a FET when our kid was in elementary, figuring we'd be open to a 2nd kid if it worked out. Pregnancy, then miscarriage. I knew I was done. Won't miss the sleepless nights with a baby, though we would have welcomed a kid for the longer term.

We considered embryo donation but only if two couples I knew had been receptive. It's very personal. Id no more feel compelled to donate embryos, than be an egg donor every month in my 20s (which I did not do). I personally didn't want to get on the train of someone else picking over my genetics, for good or for bad too.

Going through the FET is also a reminder, conception fails at many, many points. You would not even know if an egg and sperm met one month and you then had a negative pregnancy test. I also had a fibroid that was sort of marginal, was willing to do FET, but not willing to pay out-of-pocket for surgery. Nor would I ever consider the cost of a surrogate. Point being conception could fail at many steps.

Googling this topic brought up articles that helped me make a decision that closed this book for us.

Best of luck.

I'd also add - a substantial number of people just stop paying storage fees on frozen embryos. But we would never do this, it harms a business plus ends up pushing the costs off to others indirectly. So I think people either should pay, move to a less expensive storage facility and pay, or make a decision.

You do realize that if you stop paying the fees the clinic just destroys your embryos right?

It’s a decision by attrition but a decision nonetheless

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can move them to another storage facility that is less expensive, if you want to keep options open until you are a certain age.

Looking up articles on this helped me greatly. The vast, vast majority end up thawing and discarding embryos eventually (98%).

Donating to science is really, really elusive if you want something meaning ful, versus a lab technician practicing working with embryos for their training.

We faced this after years of storage fees. Thought one and done, but did a FET when our kid was in elementary, figuring we'd be open to a 2nd kid if it worked out. Pregnancy, then miscarriage. I knew I was done. Won't miss the sleepless nights with a baby, though we would have welcomed a kid for the longer term.

We considered embryo donation but only if two couples I knew had been receptive. It's very personal. Id no more feel compelled to donate embryos, than be an egg donor every month in my 20s (which I did not do). I personally didn't want to get on the train of someone else picking over my genetics, for good or for bad too.

Going through the FET is also a reminder, conception fails at many, many points. You would not even know if an egg and sperm met one month and you then had a negative pregnancy test. I also had a fibroid that was sort of marginal, was willing to do FET, but not willing to pay out-of-pocket for surgery. Nor would I ever consider the cost of a surrogate. Point being conception could fail at many steps.

Googling this topic brought up articles that helped me make a decision that closed this book for us.

Best of luck.

How do you think the doctors who helped get you pregnant got so good at it? Practice! This seems like the best way to pay it forward to help other couples who come after you and keep it from being a total "waste".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just keep them all. You never know. Your kids could get in a terrible accident. Or, and I don’t know if this is even feasible, let’s say one of your kids has a infertility. Could they use the embryos?

This is really bizarre. 500x30= 15000 at a minimum and realistically much more than that. You could easily cover their IVF if you put this money in an index fund. It’s also very odd to count on your kids having fertility problems AND wanting to raise their siblings. If your children are boys, this would be really weird fir a DIL. It’s a stupid plan all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if money isn’t a big problem you should wait 2 more years and give yourself the time and space to decide.

+1

There is still the almost-untypable awful possibility that something happens to your child and you want to have another. There will come a time, likely due to your age, where even if the unthinkable happened, you would't want another child. That's the time to revisit this.

[Anonymous]

We had two small kids from IVF and one frozen, PGS-tested embryo still in storage. Thought we were totally done and had never wanted a third but it just gnawed at me (and I’m completely pro-choice!). I just couldn’t stop paying the storage fees and we finally decided to go ahead with a transfer, which resulted in a third, healthy child. It’s not easy with three, but I do feel it ended up the right choice for us (and we obviously love our youngest kid!) I know everyone’s decision-making calculus is different, but just sharing my experience.

[Anonymous]

What is a “compassionate transfer”? Why do people do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is a “compassionate transfer”? Why do people do it?

It’s a transfer deliberately done under conditions where there is no chance of success, for people who don’t want a baby but also don’t want to simply thaw and discard their stored embryos.

[Anonymous]

We are in the same situation. Have three kids (two born via IVF from a single cycle) and have 3 PGS-normal embryos in storage. We are 100% done. I'm 47. We are so done that we terminated an oops pregnancy two months ago - I thought the shop was closed yet here you go. I think we will do a compassionate transfer at some point but I do sympathize with everyone here. There are no good options, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Same here. Maybe I’ll use 45 as my cutoff too. I wouldn’t stop paying, in my case they are at a hospital I know would send me to collections and ruin my credit. They almost did after a $20 mistake of theirs before!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is a “compassionate transfer”? Why do people do it?

It’s a transfer deliberately done under conditions where there is no chance of success, for people who don’t want a baby but also don’t want to simply thaw and discard their stored embryos.

FFS

[Anonymous]

It’s a hard decision that we put off forever. Finally donated to science.