College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?

[Anonymous]

Professor here.

I have met parents when they tour with their prospective students, and I have also met parents at departmental graduation activities (where we encourage students to invite friends and family to a celebration of their work).

My department does sometimes hear from parents, most recently primarily in regard to COVID and wanting more in-person classes. We are polite and roll our eyes when we hang up the phone. When parents want to talk about grades or academic matters, we are not able to speak to them about this due to FERPA (unless students have signed a waiver, which they really never do) and we tell them this.

9/10 times a parent contacting a faculty member is out of bounds but if they were ever concerned about the student's safety I would encourage them to reach out and they could be connected with the appropriate resources on campus. We try not to take out weird parents on the students, but it is definitely in the back of my mind when I know I have a student with a problematic parent in a course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Quoting from another thread: "In the U.S., student educational records are protected under the Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA). That means that we can not discuss a student’s grades - or even whether or not the student is actually enrolled in the class - without the express written consent of the student, a court order, or a situation where there is a threat to the health and safety of someone in the class."


If a student is having personal or academic difficulties, they are referred to the appropriate support offices.


^^I've only met parents who've attended classes during Family Week or during alumni events and they've always been delightful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please. If a professor talked to a parent about a student that would be the type of confidentiality breach that would result in serious disciplinary action or possible termination. The standard response (if they bother) is some variation of the following:

“I cannot discuss any student’s grades with outside parties. In fact I’m not even at liberty to confirm or deny that your child is enrolled my class. I suggest you talk to your child directly.”

And no, it makes zero difference if you’re paying your kids tuition.

In my case, it resulted in neither.

It's also easier to do over email and over the phone. I was at a private college where the student's parent was railing at me in person (during parents weekend) because of dd's grades in my class and I could no longer keep her behavior to myself. It was not my fault an adult couldn't attend classes, and there was no evidence I told her dad anything other than his word.

She was playing the system, knew I was not supposed to tell her parents she was skipping classes and assignments, so was lying to dad about the class. I was going to leave at the earliest opportunity anyhow. After that, the DD started coming to class.

The minus side of teaching at a small college is that you may have irate parents corner you in person (and the low salaries), but the plus side is that you can quietly tell the parent the truth and usually not suffer repercussions. The parents are paying $$$ for their immature student's education.

[Anonymous]

The only time a parent ever contacted me was when I was a graduate student. The parent tried to bully me into giving their child a higher grade. I wrote back and explained that I was prohibited from communicating with parents about their child's grades. The parent responded by stating she knew about the legal prohibition since she herself was a teacher, and that concluded the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious to hear from current faculty if they ever hear from parents and if so, how they handle it.

When I was an undergrad in the Stone Age, I was first generation (not a term used back then) and my parents contacted a professor that had hired me to do research over the summer because they were “concerned”. I did not know about the conversation until he told me about it after the research began and said that he could not recommend me for future research because of their meddling.

I did get another research position with another professor after that one ended. Parents never met the professor. Published two papers in his lab.

Parents seem so much more involved now than they were years ago. I have NO intention of ever meddling in my DS’s business like my own parents did, but I wonder how professors these days handle such encroachment if they do see it.

Most professors are untouchable. There's a firewall between them and the outside world. If you break their rules, you are screwed. After all, they have tenure. Can't fire them.

Most professors do not have tenure.

Not really.

At most schools now a huge % of faculty are adjunct/part-time.

In my department alone we have 4 tenured professors, 3 tenure-track professors (who haven't yet gotten tenure), 3 full time-professors who are not on the tenure track and can not get tenure but are renewed each year if there is a need for them to teach, and about 8-10 adjunct/part-time professors who are woefully underpaid and have no assurances of continued employment.

[Anonymous]

Weirdest interaction was when the parents were IRATE that the student failed the course. They had a copy of his final paper and DEMANDED to know why I gave him the grade that I did. Apparently they thought the paper should have gotten an A. I would love to know who really wrote that paper. I suspect it was dad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Quoting from another thread: "In the U.S., student educational records are protected under the Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA). That means that we can not discuss a student’s grades - or even whether or not the student is actually enrolled in the class - without the express written consent of the student, a court order, or a situation where there is a threat to the health and safety of someone in the class."

If a student is having personal or academic difficulties, they are referred to the appropriate support offices.

Right, those stupid parents, having no idea. Many actually do have that written consent from a student. My lawyer friend advised me to do it, just in case, together with the health care proxy before my daughter left for campus. What do you say to that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please. If a professor talked to a parent about a student that would be the type of confidentiality breach that would result in serious disciplinary action or possible termination. The standard response (if they bother) is some variation of the following:

“I cannot discuss any student’s grades with outside parties. In fact I’m not even at liberty to confirm or deny that your child is enrolled my class. I suggest you talk to your child directly.”

And no, it makes zero difference if you’re paying your kids tuition.

Give us $100,000 to $320,000 for your brat's BA and don't you dare inquire about ANYTHING. In fact, don't even make eye contact when you see us. Ivory Tower hacks really live in their own world.

well to be fair, the professors don't really see most of that $$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former faculty member; yes, I had several students' parents contact me over the ten years I taught. It escalated over time, and was usually because the student was failing.

Taught at a smaller college, and one time at the parents weekend, a dad sought me out and started giving me a hard time about his dd's grades in my class. I took him aside and let him know that if his dd actually came to class and turned in assignments, she would be doing much better.

I gave up tenure, left, and now work for the federal government. I make double my old salary (120k versus 60k for a Phd), and don't have to deal with helicopter parents.

OP here: I went to a small SLAC. I wonder if the more intimate environment and high price gives this subset of parents an entitlement mentality not seen in bigger schools. It’s great that you have a more fulfilling career now.

I think the more intimate environment might make a parent feel more comfortable contacting a faculty member they already met at orientation or another parent event. It is very rare to take that step unless the parent already has boundary issues.

[Anonymous]

I have a cousin, a niece and a friend who are college professors. All get occasional calls, probably
1-2 per semester. None talk to the parents but that doesn’t stop parents from ranting.

[Anonymous]

After I graduated my parents sent my thesis advisor a thank you card, I was embarrassed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Quoting from another thread: "In the U.S., student educational records are protected under the Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA). That means that we can not discuss a student’s grades - or even whether or not the student is actually enrolled in the class - without the express written consent of the student, a court order, or a situation where there is a threat to the health and safety of someone in the class."

If a student is having personal or academic difficulties, they are referred to the appropriate support offices.

Right, those stupid parents, having no idea. Many actually do have that written consent from a student. My lawyer friend advised me to do it, just in case, together with the health care proxy before my daughter left for campus. What do you say to that?

NP. What do I say to that? I say you still have to talk to an administrative office, moron, not a faculty member. Your identity and the paperwork has to be verified. None of this involves direct faculty contact. It all goes through administrative staff in the registrar' office, office of student services, individual college's dean of students, etc.

[Anonymous]

My sister is a professor.

Parents are insane. They call her because darling Lara missed her alarm or didn't finish a paper or homework or the professor grades too hard.

She used to be head of graduate admissions at an IVY she quit because parents are insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please. If a professor talked to a parent about a student that would be the type of confidentiality breach that would result in serious disciplinary action or possible termination. The standard response (if they bother) is some variation of the following:

“I cannot discuss any student’s grades with outside parties. In fact I’m not even at liberty to confirm or deny that your child is enrolled my class. I suggest you talk to your child directly.”

And no, it makes zero difference if you’re paying your kids tuition.

Give us $100,000 to $320,000 for your brat's BA and don't you dare inquire about ANYTHING. In fact, don't even make eye contact when you see us. Ivory Tower hacks really live in their own world.

You are such a moron. Adults have privacy. They are entitled to waive that privacy, sure, but there is a process, and the process *does not involve direct communication with faculty.*

Also, the Caucacity of it all, you assuming that everyone's Mommy and Daddy pays for their education.

[Anonymous]

My SLAC sent our parents a copy of our mid semester reports and final report cards in the 90s. No FERPA was signed.

It was never a problem for me but I imagine there was a reason they did this. I wonder if they still do.