Struggling with the physicality of parenting

[Anonymous]

You need to teach your kids boundaries - they may NOT jump on furniture, etc. You also need to be more aware and have faster reflexes when your kids are around. So when they crouch down to jump, you put your hand out and firmly say, "NO! Do NOT jump!"

[Anonymous]

No way could my 5 year old jump on me without consequences! It doesn't matter whether he's just playing or not, hurting another person is NOT ok, least of all your own mother!

I carry his little sister a lot still and honestly I love that kind of "physicality of parenting." It keeps me in great shape. She's 25 lbs and I basically don't feel her. I can lift her as many times as necessary out of or into her crib, over my head, carry her up and down stairs, into and out of stroller... I just turned 42, and I feel very strong. My 5 year old is 42 lbs, and I can also easily lift and carry him. I am dreading a time when they are both too big to be carried because I think I'm going to get weak.

But punching, jumping on my internal organs, poking my eyes out, etc.? No freaking way. That is off the table. That kind of behavior would result in an immediate time out and conversation.

[Anonymous]

A first grader should not be so lacking in boundaries that they crash into, step on, hit, or otherwise injure you. Even with a four year old, that is borderline. It sounds like they need some boundaries.

[Anonymous]

I'm not really into this roughhousing either (or things like awkwardly bending over to dance with a toddler). When my daughter hurts me, I tell her it hurts and that she should stop. I figure that is a good lesson for her to learn. It makes me frustrated sometimes because I really would like to just hug her or do something physical but not painful, but she will always turn it into roughhousing. #kids

[Anonymous]

As a PT I can tell you that different kids (and adults) have different skills when it comes to body awareness and control, so I'd ignore others who are saying, "A 4 year old should be able to control herself", etc. I would never punish or have a negative consequence for a 4 or 6 year old who is bumping or running into people accidentally. I wouldn't accept it as necessary though--work on helping the child understand the difference between hard and soft touch, the right amount of force in their movement vs. too much force, playing vs. rough housing, and too close vs. appropriate personal space (even for mommy). These are skills that can be improved. Sometimes kids also need to work on noticing other people's facial expressions to notice if what they are doing is fun (or actually painful) to the other person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to teach your kids boundaries - they may NOT jump on furniture, etc. You also need to be more aware and have faster reflexes when your kids are around. So when they crouch down to jump, you put your hand out and firmly say, "NO! Do NOT jump!"

If you substitute "Dogs" for "kids" I'm totally onboard with this, PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a PT I can tell you that different kids (and adults) have different skills when it comes to body awareness and control, so I'd ignore others who are saying, "A 4 year old should be able to control herself", etc. I would never punish or have a negative consequence for a 4 or 6 year old who is bumping or running into people accidentally. I wouldn't accept it as necessary though--work on helping the child understand the difference between hard and soft touch, the right amount of force in their movement vs. too much force, playing vs. rough housing, and too close vs. appropriate personal space (even for mommy). These are skills that can be improved. Sometimes kids also need to work on noticing other people's facial expressions to notice if what they are doing is fun (or actually painful) to the other person.

No one is saying punish. Everyone is saying teach boundaries, which is also what you are saying.

[Anonymous]

Yep I get it. My son broke my nose so many times until he was 2. He just would throw his big head around and didn’t care about pain.

[Anonymous]

I think that “immediate time out” and screaming in pain are punitive, to a 4 year old.