Helllppp!!! Child won’t listen unless I yell

[Anonymous]

Pp is incorrect. Read kazdin method.

Give the instruction.
[ignores]
Repeat the instruction, and say “or I will help you wash your hands.”
[ignores]
Help him wash hands—walk him to sink, etc.

Sustained behavior change comes with positive reinforcement. Based on science!

[Anonymous]

When he asks you a question, talk to him while going with him to wash his hands. Or if you can't, say, go wash your hands and then I will tell you. His brain is thinking about other things. That is ok and actually a good thing. Don't lose your temper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp is incorrect. Read kazdin method.

Give the instruction.
[ignores]
Repeat the instruction, and say “or I will help you wash your hands.”
[ignores]
Help him wash hands—walk him to sink, etc.

Sustained behavior change comes with positive reinforcement. Based on science!

And if that doesn't work?

We've been working with infants and toddlers for over a year now. Even simple things like teeth brushing are still an epic battle. As is trying to get him to stop climbing up various kinds of furniture.

How do you even reward behavior when things like teeth brushing takes two people to hold him down and force open his mouth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When he asks you a question, talk to him while going with him to wash his hands. Or if you can't, say, go wash your hands and then I will tell you. His brain is thinking about other things. That is ok and actually a good thing. Don't lose your temper.

^^ and do this with positive attitude and not angrily or passive aggressively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp is incorrect. Read kazdin method.

Give the instruction.
[ignores]
Repeat the instruction, and say “or I will help you wash your hands.”
[ignores]
Help him wash hands—walk him to sink, etc.

Sustained behavior change comes with positive reinforcement. Based on science!

And if that doesn't work?

We've been working with infants and toddlers for over a year now. Even simple things like teeth brushing are still an epic battle. As is trying to get him to stop climbing up various kinds of furniture.

How do you even reward behavior when things like teeth brushing takes two people to hold him down and force open his mouth?

How old is your child? This is not op's situation. Her child is not exerting control over his body and refusing the way you are describing.

His old is your child? Maybe start your own thread so responses don't get muddled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How To Talk So Kids Will Listen is a good resource. I"m not great at this, but I think as parents we just have to have the will and follow through to establish a rule and a routine. The rule is he washes hands every time after eating (only when hands are sticky gives too much space for negotiation). You commit that for two weeks, every time he is done eating you will escort him to the sink and stand there while he washes his hands. Any question is met with, "good question, we'll take about it when your hands are clean." After two weeks, you continue to give him a verbal instruction, but he should have a routine with a body memory.

I found that book very naive. Do other kids really react to the techniques in that book? If your kid doesn't respond to talking or consequences there's basically nothing left in that book.

I really don't know how unusual my kid is. He scores pretty high on the autism screening questionnaires at the pediatrician, but subjectively is quite social so they mostly write it off.

You know your child best. Pediatricians screen but this is not their focus and some kids will only be dxed by a specialist doctor.

Peds see kids for a brief amount at irregular intervals, it is nothing like a neuropsychological evaluation. Kids are all different and autism presents different.

subjectively is quite social so they mostly write it off

This comment is incredibly concerning.

[Anonymous]

*differently

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp is incorrect. Read kazdin method.

Give the instruction.
[ignores]
Repeat the instruction, and say “or I will help you wash your hands.”
[ignores]
Help him wash hands—walk him to sink, etc.

Sustained behavior change comes with positive reinforcement. Based on science!

And if that doesn't work?

We've been working with infants and toddlers for over a year now. Even simple things like teeth brushing are still an epic battle. As is trying to get him to stop climbing up various kinds of furniture.

How do you even reward behavior when things like teeth brushing takes two people to hold him down and force open his mouth?

How old is your child? This is not op's situation. Her child is not exerting control over his body and refusing the way you are describing.

His old is your child? Maybe start your own thread so responses don't get muddled.

Good idea.

I'll fork my discussion over to: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/915451.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp is incorrect. Read kazdin method.

Give the instruction.
[ignores]
Repeat the instruction, and say “or I will help you wash your hands.”
[ignores]
Help him wash hands—walk him to sink, etc.

Sustained behavior change comes with positive reinforcement. Based on science!

And if that doesn't work?

We've been working with infants and toddlers for over a year now. Even simple things like teeth brushing are still an epic battle. As is trying to get him to stop climbing up various kinds of furniture.

How do you even reward behavior when things like teeth brushing takes two people to hold him down and force open his mouth?

Reward by praising. But you don’t praise if the child isn’t compliant.

Pp, you need to get on a waitlist for a developmental pediatrician. Take dr. Shapiro’s class. Obviously you have bigger fish to fry than op.