What age did you stop supervising your kids playing outside with neighborhood kids?

[Anonymous]

We live in an old, urban-ish suburban neighborhood (walking distance to DC border). So I'm not quite comfortable letting my 7-y-o go somewhere completely on her own d/t traffic + lack of sidewalks in some places.

If she has a friend over to our backyard, in theory they don't need to be *directly* supervised, and weren't really pre-COVID, starting around 6.5. I or another adult has been supervising-- at least keeping kids in sight-- since COVID, out of an abundance of caution. Just wanted to make sure they keep masks on and some sort of distance. But honestly the few friends we do this with have proven to be excellent at taking precautions, so I don't think it's entirely needed now.

In terms of running over to someone's house or the playground (1/3 mile away), I've been letting her "practice" by walking a block or so ahead of me where I can still see her. I think when she's 8, I'd be fine with her going by herself... though admittedly letting her play without ANY adult supervision at the playground in particular seems like it will still be a bit premature until... maybe closer to 9. Someone else's backyard is fine IMO.

[Anonymous]

Totally kid dependent. My 5.5YO can and is allowed to go up to friends' houses or the soccer field by our house and "roam" the neighborhood by himself (if he doesn't find a friend he comes home) but two of our neighbors' have kids the same age (in K, one is a week younger than my son) and they can/will not go out alone. The maturity level is very different. Our neighbor's kids are 7-8YO and will come knock on our door by themselves. My just-turned 4YO is allowed outside by himself, but follows our rule of no going in the street without an adult outside. We also live in a cul-de-sac and our entire front of the house is windows so he's checked on very frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm amazed at how lazy people are. At 11, we are still loosely supervising and wouldn't let ours go off on their own.

Seriously? I feel like an 11 year old who is never let outside of mommy’s sight is a kid who is going to grow up anxious and second guessing her every move. At least with my kids, and especially my oldest, who tended to be a worrier, giving freedom was a great way to help develop skills and self confidence.

My kids were freely roaming the neighborhood and walking to school with friends at 7/8. Walking up the street to a friends house (but not freely roaming) at 6. At 2 and 4 they’d sometimes play in the backyard alone with windows open, but I’d supervise in the front yard. At 9 and 11, they walk to get snacks at cvs and go fishing in a creek near us. I’m definitely more comfortable if they are together or with a friend.

Ditto.

The key for us is to live in a town with sidewalks and lots of like-minded parents. So there’s a gang of kids playing outside from age 4 on (obviously supervised at age 4 and 5). By 8 or 9 they are pretty independent and by 10 able to run errands and get themselves to activities on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm amazed at how lazy people are. At 11, we are still loosely supervising and wouldn't let ours go off on their own.

This parent will also be calling their child's college professors.

[Anonymous]

7 to play outside in immediate proximity to house or to go to friend’s house. 9 to go to close playground alone. 10 to ride bikes around neighborhood and trails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:how did all of you find these kid filled cul de sacs? I grew up in one with lots of boys my brother's ages, but I was sooo lonely I couldn't wait to get out. I'm tempted to try a cul de sac for my kids, but I know the risks now. I almost want to knock on doors and get a census of genders, energy levels, and ages haha.

We deliberately looked for a cul-de-sac because of the balance of safety and independence for kid play.

[Anonymous]

Like 4 or 5?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm amazed at how lazy people are. At 11, we are still loosely supervising and wouldn't let ours go off on their own.

Lazy or not helicopter parents?!?

LAZY!
My sister-in-law is like this with her four kids… She works out and showers while her kids are outside and has no clue where they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm amazed at how lazy people are. At 11, we are still loosely supervising and wouldn't let ours go off on their own.

Not sure whether to laugh or cry. It's lazy to give your children independence?

It is really not healthy to sit and supervise an 11 year old's play time, unless there are developmental issues. Cut the cord lady!

[Anonymous]

5-6? She knew not to cross the street. Unfortunately, there's a dangerous road between our house and the park, so despite the tempting proximity, I've always had to walk them.

[Anonymous]

Our backyard, just our kids - 4 or 5
Our backyard with a friend over - 6ish
Leaving our backyard, within a couple of blocks - 8ish
Longer walks / bike rides, up to a mile or two from home - 10ish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm amazed at how lazy people are. At 11, we are still loosely supervising and wouldn't let ours go off on their own.

Not sure whether to laugh or cry. It's lazy to give your children independence?

It is really not healthy to sit and supervise an 11 year old's play time, unless there are developmental issues. Cut the cord lady!

My 11 year old isn't going out to the yard and playing. You are lazy if yours is and isn't in activities. Its not healthy to ignore your 11 year old, not spend time with them and not allow them to pursue their interests as you have to put money and effort into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would love to live in a neighborhood that people did this. We don’t have sidewalks, though, so kids need to be old enough to have good judgement about walking in the street, which is probably closer to middle elementary age.

We let our 4 and 6 year old roam our own property (2/3 acre so not huge) unsupervised but together. It’s not fenced in, but we are really set back from the road, so don’t have any worries about traffic. If friends come over, we also let them roam around outside. In a couple of years will probably let them walk to the nearby park together.

You may think so now but no you wouldn't. The constant noise level is incredible, as is the amount of damage and vandalism to your property that occurs due to the constant trespassing. Most families allowed constant unsupervised roaming starting at age two in my old neighborhood. Never again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm amazed at how lazy people are. At 11, we are still loosely supervising and wouldn't let ours go off on their own.

Not sure whether to laugh or cry. It's lazy to give your children independence?

It is really not healthy to sit and supervise an 11 year old's play time, unless there are developmental issues. Cut the cord lady!

My 11 year old isn't going out to the yard and playing. You are lazy if yours is and isn't in activities. Its not healthy to ignore your 11 year old, not spend time with them and not allow them to pursue their interests as you have to put money and effort into it.

Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm amazed at how lazy people are. At 11, we are still loosely supervising and wouldn't let ours go off on their own.

Not sure whether to laugh or cry. It's lazy to give your children independence?

It is really not healthy to sit and supervise an 11 year old's play time, unless there are developmental issues. Cut the cord lady!

My 11 year old isn't going out to the yard and playing. You are lazy if yours is and isn't in activities. Its not healthy to ignore your 11 year old, not spend time with them and not allow them to pursue their interests as you have to put money and effort into it.

At 11, my now 13 year old was riding bikes with his friends and exploring the woods. If a friend came over I’d much rather they spend time outdoors than stay in with a video game.
This doesn’t mean we as parents didn’t spend time with him. He also plays two instruments and soccer, so plenty of “activities.”

You sound crazy.