How to pray if you’re a non-believer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A close friend lost her infant daughter recently. When asked how we could help, she had only one request of her friends and family-to pray.

I’m an atheist but I love my friend dearly.

I’m trying to think how to honor her request in a way that is genuine.

Any ideas how to approach this?

You don't. You just tell her you thoughts are with her and if she needs anything let you know.

[Anonymous]

Really is this the time to stand on principle? Just honor her request and pray for her and her baby. If you don't believe, pray by proxy to her God to give her strength and peace. You won't be damned to hell, no repercussions.

I suggest also making a donation in her daughter's name. These two groups are lovely and plan events such as placing engraved bricks in their memorial, reading of the names, events and more.
http://www.rowantreefoundation.org/
https://www.projectsweetpeas.com/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have prayed to the Universe, or with the hope that the goodness in the Universe can help someone heal. I have “prayed” in the hope that my sincere good wishes can somehow reach and touch someone I love. Prayer can be directed towards someone that you want to hold in prayer — without identifying a specific divine intermediary. I have a friend who prayed with and for me during a time of crisis and I truly valued the gifts of his spirit.
As others have said, you can also reach out in other ways — particularly as time passes, to let you know that they are in your thoughts and to offer practical assistance.

If I made a video of me and my child “praying” in this way, would it be offensive to someone religious?

Why would you make a video of this to send to anyone???

Because my friend asked for it and it’s what lots of our friends have been doing-making these videos for her of them praying together. It’s important to her, I think it’s one way she’s deriving meaning from this tragedy is to think it has inspired people to pray.

Asking people to pray is one thing, asking people to video record themselves praying and to send it the video is ...something strange.

[Anonymous]

She asked for prayers, not videos but the video thing has grown out of it and she really appreciates it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really is this the time to stand on principle? Just honor her request and pray for her and her baby. If you don't believe, pray by proxy to her God to give her strength and peace. You won't be damned to hell, no repercussions.

I suggest also making a donation in her daughter's name. These two groups are lovely and plan events such as placing engraved bricks in their memorial, reading of the names, events and more.
http://www.rowantreefoundation.org/
https://www.projectsweetpeas.com/

Op here. I think my fear is, a lot of people know I’m
A non-belieber. I don’t want to do anything that will make anyone feel like I’m mocking or disrespectful of their religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have prayed to the Universe, or with the hope that the goodness in the Universe can help someone heal. I have “prayed” in the hope that my sincere good wishes can somehow reach and touch someone I love. Prayer can be directed towards someone that you want to hold in prayer — without identifying a specific divine intermediary. I have a friend who prayed with and for me during a time of crisis and I truly valued the gifts of his spirit.
As others have said, you can also reach out in other ways — particularly as time passes, to let you know that they are in your thoughts and to offer practical assistance.

If I made a video of me and my child “praying” in this way, would it be offensive to someone religious?

Why would you make a video of this to send to anyone???

Because my friend asked for it and it’s what lots of our friends have been doing-making these videos for her of them praying together. It’s important to her, I think it’s one way she’s deriving meaning from this tragedy is to think it has inspired people to pray.

Asking people to pray is one thing, asking people to video record themselves praying and to send it the video is ...something strange.

Yeahhhhh. I’m an atheist and have no issue with the prayer request part, but the video part? I really don’t want that to be the price of my friendship. I’m a kind, caring person, but the video part isn’t going to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have prayed to the Universe, or with the hope that the goodness in the Universe can help someone heal. I have “prayed” in the hope that my sincere good wishes can somehow reach and touch someone I love. Prayer can be directed towards someone that you want to hold in prayer — without identifying a specific divine intermediary. I have a friend who prayed with and for me during a time of crisis and I truly valued the gifts of his spirit.
As others have said, you can also reach out in other ways — particularly as time passes, to let you know that they are in your thoughts and to offer practical assistance.

If I made a video of me and my child “praying” in this way, would it be offensive to someone religious?

Why would you make a video of this to send to anyone???

Because my friend asked for it and it’s what lots of our friends have been doing-making these videos for her of them praying together. It’s important to her, I think it’s one way she’s deriving meaning from this tragedy is to think it has inspired people to pray.

Asking people to pray is one thing, asking people to video record themselves praying and to send it the video is ...something strange.

Yeahhhhh. I’m an atheist and have no issue with the prayer request part, but the video part? I really don’t want that to be the price of my friendship. I’m a kind, caring person, but the video part isn’t going to happen.

Op here. No one is compelled to do anything they don’t want to do. My friend didn’t ask for videos, she asked for prayers and the videos grew out of that request.

I would of course rather do
Something else but she’s specifically come out and said “thanks everyone for reaching out asking what you can do. All we are asking for is prayers.”
She then goes on imploring people to pray.....it’s really compelling and I just want to listen to what she’s asking is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have prayed to the Universe, or with the hope that the goodness in the Universe can help someone heal. I have “prayed” in the hope that my sincere good wishes can somehow reach and touch someone I love. Prayer can be directed towards someone that you want to hold in prayer — without identifying a specific divine intermediary. I have a friend who prayed with and for me during a time of crisis and I truly valued the gifts of his spirit.
As others have said, you can also reach out in other ways — particularly as time passes, to let you know that they are in your thoughts and to offer practical assistance.

If I made a video of me and my child “praying” in this way, would it be offensive to someone religious?

PP: I think you could pray — without ever identifying an intermediary. Praying to “ the Universe” might offend people of some traditions.

“I pray that you may find the strength, guidance, and support that you need to heal amidst this time of deepest sorrow. May you comfort yourself with the blessings of happy memories, and may these memories bring you peace. “

I would say something like this. It’s hard for me to imagine this being offensive — but perhaps people from other traditions could chime in here?

[Anonymous]

The OP sounds like a truly nice person.

[Anonymous]

I would send flowers or a plant with a card to let her know that you are thinking about her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have prayed to the Universe, or with the hope that the goodness in the Universe can help someone heal. I have “prayed” in the hope that my sincere good wishes can somehow reach and touch someone I love. Prayer can be directed towards someone that you want to hold in prayer — without identifying a specific divine intermediary. I have a friend who prayed with and for me during a time of crisis and I truly valued the gifts of his spirit.
As others have said, you can also reach out in other ways — particularly as time passes, to let you know that they are in your thoughts and to offer practical assistance.

If I made a video of me and my child “praying” in this way, would it be offensive to someone religious?

I really can’t think of a way it would be offensive.

I think the most people who grew up in a multicultural environment would consider any contemplation of a force larger than yourself to be a prayer.

God is the breath of life, and He is everywhere and always filling the world with divine presence. If you are praying to the inexplicable beauty of a spider’s web, to the mystery of the quarks that make up the hadrons that make up the protons and neutrons in the atoms that compose our world, or you pray to the vastness of the ever-expanding universe, then you are praying to God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TBH your friend is a little rude if she knows you're an atheist. By definition you can't "pray," and the request makes no sense. I understand she just lost her daughter, but even my conservative southern great mother from a very different era told me when her husband was on his death bed, "ask your friends to pray for me if they believe in that sort of thing."

Op here. I really don’t think it’s rude but even if it was, moms who just lost their babies are deserving of metric eff tons of grace.

I think her faith is keeping her afloat during this time, and has become more important than ever. It’s not about me.

You’ve restored my faith in humanity with this response in defense of your grieving friend, OP.

And I think if you really do want to honor her request, it can’t hurt to just speak out loud, “please surround my friend with love and peace and space to heal her hurting heart.”
As a believer myself I think God knows your heart and would hear this as prayer. And from your perspective, it is just speaking your desire to the “universe” and expressing support and compassion and good intention. Then do your part to follow through on being your answer to that prayer by continuing to show up, supporting and loving her through this as best you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have prayed to the Universe, or with the hope that the goodness in the Universe can help someone heal. I have “prayed” in the hope that my sincere good wishes can somehow reach and touch someone I love. Prayer can be directed towards someone that you want to hold in prayer — without identifying a specific divine intermediary. I have a friend who prayed with and for me during a time of crisis and I truly valued the gifts of his spirit.
As others have said, you can also reach out in other ways — particularly as time passes, to let you know that they are in your thoughts and to offer practical assistance.

If I made a video of me and my child “praying” in this way, would it be offensive to someone religious?

Why would you make a video of this to send to anyone???

Because my friend asked for it and it’s what lots of our friends have been doing-making these videos for her of them praying together. It’s important to her, I think it’s one way she’s deriving meaning from this tragedy is to think it has inspired people to pray.

Asking people to pray is one thing, asking people to video record themselves praying and to send it the video is ...something strange.

Yeahhhhh. I’m an atheist and have no issue with the prayer request part, but the video part? I really don’t want that to be the price of my friendship. I’m a kind, caring person, but the video part isn’t going to happen.

Agree. I’m the PP whose faith in humanity was restored by OP and I’m all for offering prayer or positive thoughts and compassion in any form that you feel is true to you and supports your friend.
It’s not that I would be “offended” but it’s just not necessary to have prayer be performative. In fact, Jesus warned believers AGAINST this kind of showy display, in Matthew 6:5–
"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.”
It’s okay to do this privately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The OP sounds like a truly nice person.

+100
I was moved to offer up a special prayer just for OP to be blessed and filled with peace.

[Anonymous]

wish her strength and comfort in whatever way is meaningful to you