Meeting New Moms During COVID

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I just say, I think the concept of mom friends early on is a little overrated. When your babies come, they will all be on different schedules and it will be really difficult to meet up. And you think your new mom friends will be able to sympathize with your issues, but you will probably all have totally different issues - your baby is a crappy sleeper, your friend's baby is a great sleeper. You have an easy time breastfeeding, your friend can't breastfeed. You might have totally different philosophies/lifestyles re: babies. Etc. I often actually felt MORE alone have talking to my "mom friends." There will probably also be a slightly competitive vibe among your new mom friend group that can be not the healthiest.

I also didn't like having "mom friends" early on because I felt really pressured to always leave the house and meet up with my mom friends, when what I really want to do was just sit at home and rest with my new baby.

Another thing is that a lot of new moms have mental health issues - PPD, PPA - and I think it's weird that we expect all these new moms to "support" these serious mental health issues during one of the most stressful times of their lives. You will probably either have PPD/PPA and trying to get "support" from your friend who has a NEWBORN, OR your friend will have PPD/PPA and you'll feel guilty because you're trying to take care of a baby while also supporting your new friend who has a mental health issue. It's all so dumb to me.

I say, keep your old friends, the ones who already know you best. Do you have any friends who already have kids? Just keep up a good texting relationship with them.

The only time I think you really need "mom friends" is when you're a SAHM and need to make playdates when your kids are toddlers.

Disagree. A lot of my friends were moms many years before me. Many of them don’t live nearby. I love having a lock group that includes babies born within a few months of mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can I just say, I think the concept of mom friends early on is a little overrated. When your babies come, they will all be on different schedules and it will be really difficult to meet up. And you think your new mom friends will be able to sympathize with your issues, but you will probably all have totally different issues - your baby is a crappy sleeper, your friend's baby is a great sleeper. You have an easy time breastfeeding, your friend can't breastfeed. You might have totally different philosophies/lifestyles re: babies. Etc. I often actually felt MORE alone have talking to my "mom friends." There will probably also be a slightly competitive vibe among your new mom friend group that can be not the healthiest.

I also didn't like having "mom friends" early on because I felt really pressured to always leave the house and meet up with my mom friends, when what I really want to do was just sit at home and rest with my new baby.

Another thing is that a lot of new moms have mental health issues - PPD, PPA - and I think it's weird that we expect all these new moms to "support" these serious mental health issues during one of the most stressful times of their lives. You will probably either have PPD/PPA and trying to get "support" from your friend who has a NEWBORN, OR your friend will have PPD/PPA and you'll feel guilty because you're trying to take care of a baby while also supporting your new friend who has a mental health issue. It's all so dumb to me.

I say, keep your old friends, the ones who already know you best. Do you have any friends who already have kids? Just keep up a good texting relationship with them.

The only time I think you really need "mom friends" is when you're a SAHM and need to make playdates when your kids are toddlers.

Disagree. A lot of my friends were moms many years before me. Many of them don’t live nearby. I love having a lock group that includes babies born within a few months of mine.

+1. I kept my old friends, but even those that had kids just a year before me had already forgotten/weren't interested in the nitty gritty of the newborn days. While the friendships may not all last forever, my "new mom" friends were invaluable during the first year and especially the first few months. Just having someone text back at 3am was great for me. But different things work for different people.

[Anonymous]

New mom friends saved my sanity. So helpful to talk with people going through the same thing AND not bore my existing friends who had kids earlier or were child-free.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the 2 PPs above. My PACE group has been a great source of support these last few months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any suggestions for cathedral Heights / glover park area?

+1 on this question.

[Anonymous]

Mom friends were a lifesaver for me in the early days of maternity leave. I joined Petite DC-- I'm not sure if they're still an active group, but it was more activities based than PACE, and cheaper. We are still close 5 years later and our kids are best friends!