Age Gap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost identical age gap with my DH. I think so long as you are a fit 56 and you two are in the same stage of life, it can work. But, note that this can change over time. As I get older, I realize that just as 6 and 18 is creepy and weird, 44 and 56 is very different than 63 and 75.

I have a similar age gap with DH and I agree. If you’re going to have an age gap the older partner absolutely owes it to the younger one to be very, very diligent in taking care of their health. Obviously illness or accident can strike at any age and sometimes you just have bad luck, but that’s no excuse for throwing up your hands and letting yourself go. I definitely would not have married DH if he hadn’t been very conscious of the burden he was potentially asking me to take on.

[Anonymous]

I have seen many large gap relationships work until the older one hits their 70’s, then it is not as much fun for the younger one. Very occasionally, the younger one gets sick first And the older one has difficulty handling it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 44 and 56 is way too old for me. My limit is 50 but I prefer my age or just a few years older or younger. Curious why she is willing to date you....do you have a ton of money or something?

Trying to phrase this nicely but you’ll see on here often that many men your age may be looking for women in their 30s. That’s probably no loss since their mindset probably isn’t as good a fit as the guys in their early 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have seen many large gap relationships work until the older one hits their 70’s, then it is not as much fun for the younger one. Very occasionally, the younger one gets sick first And the older one has difficulty handling it.

You are 44. He is 56. You have 14 good years together until he is 70 and turns into a geezer.

You are 56. He is 56. You have 14 good years together until he is 70 and turns into a geezer.

Not sure why you being 58 when he turns 70 is “worse” than you being 70 when he turns 70.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have seen many large gap relationships work until the older one hits their 70’s, then it is not as much fun for the younger one. Very occasionally, the younger one gets sick first And the older one has difficulty handling it.

You are 44. He is 56. You have 14 good years together until he is 70 and turns into a geezer.

You are 56. He is 56. You have 14 good years together until he is 70 and turns into a geezer.

Not sure why you being 58 when he turns 70 is “worse” than you being 70 when he turns 70.

My husband is very soon turning 70 and he is definitely not a geezer. He certainly has some aches and pains from a lifetime of being very active but he is in excellent health and critical body parts continue to work very well without any meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost identical age gap with my DH. I think so long as you are a fit 56 and you two are in the same stage of life, it can work. But, note that this can change over time. As I get older, I realize that just as 6 and 18 is creepy and weird, 44 and 56 is very different than 63 and 75.

I have a similar age gap with DH and I agree. If you’re going to have an age gap the older partner absolutely owes it to the younger one to be very, very diligent in taking care of their health. Obviously illness or accident can strike at any age and sometimes you just have bad luck, but that’s no excuse for throwing up your hands and letting yourself go. I definitely would not have married DH if he hadn’t been very conscious of the burden he was potentially asking me to take on.

I agree with both of these. If you don't have any medical issues and are in good physical shape it may be ok. But chances of erectile dysfunction at your age are high and if she is 44, she may not be ready to cool it way down in her sex life. That would be my main concern with your age difference.

And as the PP pointed out, the age gap may seem minimal now, but she may be very vibrant and active at 63, while at 75, you may be more interested in napping in the La-Z-Boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think once everyone is over 30 it's not a huge deal.

56 and 44 is barely any difference at all.

Agree. And that's why so many 44 year old men are happy to date 56 year old women.

I am 56 and only date guys in their 40s. It is not a problem to find them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think once everyone is over 30 it's not a huge deal.

56 and 44 is barely any difference at all.

Agree. And that's why so many 44 year old men are happy to date 56 year old women.

I am 56 and only date guys in their 40s. It is not a problem to find them!

I’m 52 and I dated two guys in their mid-late 30’s but I really prefer guys closer to my own age for real companionship. The young guys were in amazing physical condition which was a very nice experience but the generation gap was just too big. I was also not blind to the fact that it was all about sex for them and since it was soon after my divorce I was fine with that.

[Anonymous]

My sister is engaged to a man in his early sixties. She's in her early forties.

Parents are not wild about it. They're in their early 70s. But sister and her beau are quite happy with each other. They're grown adults and we can't possibly interfere as we have no reason beyond the age difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think once everyone is over 30 it's not a huge deal.

56 and 44 is barely any difference at all.

Agree. And that's why so many 44 year old men are happy to date 56 year old women.

I am 56 and only date guys in their 40s. It is not a problem to find them!

I’m 52 and I dated two guys in their mid-late 30’s but I really prefer guys closer to my own age for real companionship. The young guys were in amazing physical condition which was a very nice experience but the generation gap was just too big. I was also not blind to the fact that it was all about sex for them and since it was soon after my divorce I was fine with that.

I think many of us would feel the same way! I love my husband but a young Adonis climbing into my bed would be quite an experience. But I will just have to dream!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at this thread. I will be 43 soon. I would not date a man 5 years older than me let alone one in his 50s. (This might have something to do with low-T in the past but even without that I do not think I would date much older.)

I prefer guys within 5 years of my age (37) but I don't see anything wrong here. I have friends who prefer older or younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married DH when I was 27 and he was 41. We’ve been happily married for 11 years. Age gap has been no big deal.

Second wife?

[Anonymous]

I married hubby when he was 52 and I was 38. Twenty years and two beautiful children later, our love and health are still strong. Grab that golden ring!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married DH when I was 27 and he was 41. We’ve been happily married for 11 years. Age gap has been no big deal.

Second wife?

Not that PP but I also married DH at 27/41 and neither of us had been married or had kids.

[Anonymous]

I’m not hung up by a big age gap as so much is related to health/fitness, attitude, state in life and energy. I’m 52 and there are plenty of men my age who are just OLD. I’m dating a guy who is 64 and he’s in great shape, healthy, he has a ton of energy, a positive attitude and he’s fun. The only issue is that he recently retired and I work full time and he will head south during the winter and with Covid I’m not sure how much time we will be able to spend together given my remote work is due to end Jan 1.