Affluent SAHM moms of 1 or 2 kids- Elementary/tween/teen - do you give a lot of chores to your kids?

[Anonymous]

My kids have chores to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have just one younger elementary kid so maybe we don't have lot of chores to go around? So anyway kid does 0 chores I find it faster to do everything myself for now (DH does a few). We also have pets but I don't want half done job of taking care so waiting until DC is a bit older to help with that.

You will almost already be faster and better at the chores. That doesn't matter. They need chores for developing Independence. It actually has been shown to boost self esteem as well.

[Anonymous]

I have more than two kids, so maybe this doesn’t apply.

We do have a housekeeper a couple of times a week, and she does the bulk of the laundry and deep cleaning. I do most of the rest of it. Kids help fold clothes sometimes, and they put their clothes away.

The kids have a room inspection every weekday at 8:30am that they have to pass in order to get tv/video game privileges that day.

My tween mows the lawn, and my 10 year old does the trim. I do it sometimes because they don’t do a perfect job, and it starts to look bad after a month or so of just them doing it. Those two are also responsible for cleaning their bathroom (with help from me). They were not being very thoughtful in the way they maintained it, and it was disrespectful to our housekeeper, so she is no longer cleaning it.

They also have a list of chores they can do for pay. Taking out trash and unloading the dishwasher fall under that. There are probably about 15 things on it. There is a Starbucks, drug store, book store, smoothie shop, and bakery all within walking distance, so they usually like to have some money for those things. I also make them pay to replace anything they break, lose, or ruin, even on accident, so they need money for that sometimes. (Sometimes I only make them pay a portion depending on the child’s age, expense of the item, and whether or not it was accidental.).

We also have a “job jar” where they get chores for misbehaving. These are typically bigger, and that’s where I teach them things like how to vacuum the couch, clean the refrigerator, organize the linen closet, wipe down the baseboards, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have more than two kids, so maybe this doesn’t apply.

We do have a housekeeper a couple of times a week, and she does the bulk of the laundry and deep cleaning. I do most of the rest of it. Kids help fold clothes sometimes, and they put their clothes away.

The kids have a room inspection every weekday at 8:30am that they have to pass in order to get tv/video game privileges that day.

My tween mows the lawn, and my 10 year old does the trim. I do it sometimes because they don’t do a perfect job, and it starts to look bad after a month or so of just them doing it. Those two are also responsible for cleaning their bathroom (with help from me). They were not being very thoughtful in the way they maintained it, and it was disrespectful to our housekeeper, so she is no longer cleaning it.

They also have a list of chores they can do for pay. Taking out trash and unloading the dishwasher fall under that. There are probably about 15 things on it. There is a Starbucks, drug store, book store, smoothie shop, and bakery all within walking distance, so they usually like to have some money for those things. I also make them pay to replace anything they break, lose, or ruin, even on accident, so they need money for that sometimes. (Sometimes I only make them pay a portion depending on the child’s age, expense of the item, and whether or not it was accidental.).

I like you.

We also have a “job jar” where they get chores for misbehaving. These are typically bigger, and that’s where I teach them things like how to vacuum the couch, clean the refrigerator, organize the linen closet, wipe down the baseboards, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have more than two kids, so maybe this doesn’t apply.

We do have a housekeeper a couple of times a week, and she does the bulk of the laundry and deep cleaning. I do most of the rest of it. Kids help fold clothes sometimes, and they put their clothes away.

The kids have a room inspection every weekday at 8:30am that they have to pass in order to get tv/video game privileges that day.

My tween mows the lawn, and my 10 year old does the trim. I do it sometimes because they don’t do a perfect job, and it starts to look bad after a month or so of just them doing it. Those two are also responsible for cleaning their bathroom (with help from me). They were not being very thoughtful in the way they maintained it, and it was disrespectful to our housekeeper, so she is no longer cleaning it.

They also have a list of chores they can do for pay. Taking out trash and unloading the dishwasher fall under that. There are probably about 15 things on it. There is a Starbucks, drug store, book store, smoothie shop, and bakery all within walking distance, so they usually like to have some money for those things. I also make them pay to replace anything they break, lose, or ruin, even on accident, so they need money for that sometimes. (Sometimes I only make them pay a portion depending on the child’s age, expense of the item, and whether or not it was accidental.).
We also have a “job jar” where they get chores for misbehaving. These are typically bigger, and that’s where I teach them things like how to vacuum the couch, clean the refrigerator, organize the linen closet, wipe down the baseboards, etc.

I like you.

[Anonymous]

Please teach your kids some life skills. My mom was a SAHM who did everything for me and I went to college not knowing how to do laundry. When I moved into my first rental house with roommates I put dish soap in the dishwasher and flooded the kitchen, I had no idea how to cook more than a piece of toast, I had never scrubbed a toilet or taken out a bag of trash.

Adult life hit me hard.

Thankfully I’ve figured all that stuff out over the past couple decades and am a neatnik now. We have a cleaning service every 2 weeks, but DH and I divide everything else up while working full time and raising kids. Our kids are young but already have chores like putting dirty clothes in their hampers, taking dirty dishes to the sink, picking up toys, etc.

I’m all for outsourcing the stuff you really hate to boost your quality of life (to an extent), but I also think it’s important to do some things for yourself and to instill the knowledge and ethic in your children to contribute to the household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course! They made their bed everyday, cleaned their room, brought their plate to the sink after meals, unloaded backpacks and dumped lunch Ypres to be washed in the sink. During the summer, kids had increased house chores. I have 2 sons and figured I would be thanked by their future wives.

Ugh. So sexist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have more than two kids, so maybe this doesn’t apply.

We do have a housekeeper a couple of times a week, and she does the bulk of the laundry and deep cleaning. I do most of the rest of it. Kids help fold clothes sometimes, and they put their clothes away.

The kids have a room inspection every weekday at 8:30am that they have to pass in order to get tv/video game privileges that day.

My tween mows the lawn, and my 10 year old does the trim. I do it sometimes because they don’t do a perfect job, and it starts to look bad after a month or so of just them doing it. Those two are also responsible for cleaning their bathroom (with help from me). They were not being very thoughtful in the way they maintained it, and it was disrespectful to our housekeeper, so she is no longer cleaning it.

They also have a list of chores they can do for pay. Taking out trash and unloading the dishwasher fall under that. There are probably about 15 things on it. There is a Starbucks, drug store, book store, smoothie shop, and bakery all within walking distance, so they usually like to have some money for those things. I also make them pay to replace anything they break, lose, or ruin, even on accident, so they need money for that sometimes. (Sometimes I only make them pay a portion depending on the child’s age, expense of the item, and whether or not it was accidental.).

We also have a “job jar” where they get chores for misbehaving. These are typically bigger, and that’s where I teach them things like how to vacuum the couch, clean the refrigerator, organize the linen closet, wipe down the baseboards, etc.

Lol. I’m glad to hear you have a housekeeper “a couple of times a week” but you “do most of the rest of it.” What is left after a housekeeper comes that often?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They feed and walk the dog 2x per week. My H does the am as a mindfulness Practice. I do lunch for exercise 5x /week.

They take the trash out and bring groceries in.

They do their laundry starting HS and wash their car.

I do all the cooking. (Because I love it)
My H does all the dishes. (Because he is controlling)
My kids empty the dishwasher.

We have a cleaner ever other week.

My H and I enjoy yard word do we do it but if we need help we ask.

What is it with the controlling husband’s and the dishes? For so many years, my husband would rearrange the dishwasher after I loaded it . I finally gave up and let him do it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course! They made their bed everyday, cleaned their room, brought their plate to the sink after meals, unloaded backpacks and dumped lunch Ypres to be washed in the sink. During the summer, kids had increased house chores. I have 2 sons and figured I would be thanked by their future wives.

Ugh. So sexist.

Why is this sexist if the boys learn how to clean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have more than two kids, so maybe this doesn’t apply.

We do have a housekeeper a couple of times a week, and she does the bulk of the laundry and deep cleaning. I do most of the rest of it. Kids help fold clothes sometimes, and they put their clothes away.

The kids have a room inspection every weekday at 8:30am that they have to pass in order to get tv/video game privileges that day.

My tween mows the lawn, and my 10 year old does the trim. I do it sometimes because they don’t do a perfect job, and it starts to look bad after a month or so of just them doing it. Those two are also responsible for cleaning their bathroom (with help from me). They were not being very thoughtful in the way they maintained it, and it was disrespectful to our housekeeper, so she is no longer cleaning it.

They also have a list of chores they can do for pay. Taking out trash and unloading the dishwasher fall under that. There are probably about 15 things on it. There is a Starbucks, drug store, book store, smoothie shop, and bakery all within walking distance, so they usually like to have some money for those things. I also make them pay to replace anything they break, lose, or ruin, even on accident, so they need money for that sometimes. (Sometimes I only make them pay a portion depending on the child’s age, expense of the item, and whether or not it was accidental.).

We also have a “job jar” where they get chores for misbehaving. These are typically bigger, and that’s where I teach them things like how to vacuum the couch, clean the refrigerator, organize the linen closet, wipe down the baseboards, etc.

Lol. I’m glad to hear you have a housekeeper “a couple of times a week” but you “do most of the rest of it.” What is left after a housekeeper comes that often?

Haha! I was talking specifically about laundry. We typically have 10-12 loads/week (2 per adult, 1-2 per kid, towels, sheets). Housekeeper does 3 loads the days she is here. I do the other 4-6 loads . Kids don’t really do it.

[Anonymous]

No, they don’t have a lot of chores, except for helping clean up after dinner & folding their laundry. I don’t have a housekeeper. I do most of the cleaning & tidying myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They feed and walk the dog 2x per week. My H does the am as a mindfulness Practice. I do lunch for exercise 5x /week.

They take the trash out and bring groceries in.

They do their laundry starting HS and wash their car.

I do all the cooking. (Because I love it)
My H does all the dishes. (Because he is controlling)
My kids empty the dishwasher.

We have a cleaner ever other week.

My H and I enjoy yard word do we do it but if we need help we ask.

What is it with the controlling husband’s and the dishes? For so many years, my husband would rearrange the dishwasher after I loaded it . I finally gave up and let him do it now.

My DH is also controlling about the dishwasher. Very judgy! He also takes a good 45 minutes to clean up after dinner. I can do the same in half time time.

[Anonymous]

Kids do have chores-mowing, cleaning their bathroom, putting away their clothes, refilling the birdbath, shaking out rugs, and cleaning their rooms-some ofbthisbthough is just being responsible for ones mess though.
DH is not controlling about the dishes. For him it’s vacuuming. He loves it to the point that he is disappointed if anyone else does it. I swear his most prized possession is the vacuum. I’ve asked why and he says it’s peaceful. Good enough for me.

[Anonymous]

Not “ofbthisbthough”. I meant “of this though”.