The family jewel thief, or unsolvable mystery?

[Anonymous]

Some possibilities:

Go with your DH and do a thorough search of your FIL's house (with his permission, of course). Who knows - maybe you'll find some of the missing jewelry in a random box in the attic or the basement or your FIL's bedroom closet.

Send her the photographs of the missing jewelry and tell her to cough it all up.

Go personally to her home and ask her to produce all her jewelry boxes so you two can work on separating out your MIL's pieces based on the photographs.

Maybe scare her by telling her you are going to the police to file a grand larceny report. I would guess that taking jewelry from an old man without his consent is grand theft or larceny. You have the photographs of the missing jewelry, and she grabbed it in front of your elderly FIL! If the statute of limitations has not run out, file a police report. That's harsh, of course, but the cops have the tools for investigating this. Also, does she deserve any mercy in this scenario? Of course she's saying she didn't take it all, but the cops know all the games thieves play.

Instead of going to the police, hire a criminal lawyer to send her a stern letter demanding the return of the jewelry without any further game playing, with consequences if it is not returned in its entirety.

Don't give up on the jewelry until you've given some thought on how to get her to return it/reimburse you for sold pieces/at the very least apologize for her actions.

[Anonymous]

There’s nothing you can do, OP, besides placing maximum pressure on her and accusing her point blank of being a thief and stealing from a grieving and vulnerable elder, and saying so to the entire family. You might also want to get the other person to recall what happened. In other words, play hard ball, or not at all. There isn’t a middle ground here.

[Anonymous]

So they are your MIL’s family since you say Susie said MIL promised her some? Presumably some of that was their family jewelry too?

Regardless it is gone. It sounds like there is more than enough for your daughters too. Or were you thinking this way a payday?

[Anonymous]

I'd tell her that you actually have a full photo catalog of everything and ask if she'd like to return the stuff or get sued for the value of it all.

And then I'd cut them out, regardless of the outcome.

[Anonymous]

Susie is a thief and you've let too much time go by.

Your husband needs to decide if he's going to play hardball or just chalk it up to a life lesson. Hardball is the only thing that will work.

Perhaps if you go through photos you might figure out what might be sentimental pieces, but at this point, years later, let's face it that's all gone. Does Susie have daughters/grandchildren, etc? All that jewelry has been dispersed - either sold ir given away.

[Anonymous]

I would let it go and cut her out of your life. She's a thief plain and simple.

[Anonymous]

OP here. To clarify a handful of things:
(1) We know Susie is not telling us the whole truth. It’s possible some pieces are still at FIL’s but from what she showed us via video, she has several of the pieces that would have been together in a box but somehow “never had” the others.
(2) Susie is FIL’s niece, was MIL’s niece by marriage. The “family line” would not run to niece but rather to MIL’s side, so none of this would have been Susie’s ancestor’s jewelry.
(3) Most of what is missing is gold and precious gemstone rings, gold and diamond, gold and pearl. We have photos of everything and there are numerous high value items missing.
(4) The value of what Susie acknowledges she has is in the tens of thousands, solely on weight of gold alone, never mind any additional value in the vintage/antique settings or the precious gems.
(5) MIL was a compulsive shopper with very high end taste (because “she deserved it”). She spent A LOT on jewelry, and her husband also gave her fine jewelry for gifts for decades (again, because “she deserved it”).
(6) Missing items include new-in-box-with-tags diamond earrings, many other new-with-tags gold and gemstone items. We know this from photos. What we saw in Susie’s videos was that she clearly has a number of these earrings and she’d liberated them from their packages and had been wearing them. We think she just decided it was all hers, incorporated it into her life, and doesn’t want to admit what else she has or what she’s done with the rest.

So yeah, long way of saying I don’t think there’s any doubt she has/had more than she claims and is now lying about it (or “creatively remembering”). I doubt anything else is recoverable from her. For my husband, it’s a lot more about the principle of the whole thing, but then again he is also ticked that she walked out of his elderly dad’s house with easily $50K+ worth of jewelry and never returned it despite promising to do so. What kind of person does that? And, what she has/had is worth real money that could be college tuition for kids. So, no idea what he will do once we see what Susie’s next step is. I think we will send her photos and ask her to carefully search her closets and drawers and think VERY hard, as it seems more went home with her than will now be returning, and last we heard she was the one who had it all.

Ugh. Dishonest people suck.

[Anonymous]

You need to publicly shame her, OP. As an act of revenge, of course, because there's not way you're recovering any of these things.

[Anonymous]

I’d show up at her house with your photos (unannounced) and compare directly against her collection. I doubt she sold it—reselling jewelry is difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To clarify a handful of things:
(1) We know Susie is not telling us the whole truth. It’s possible some pieces are still at FIL’s but from what she showed us via video, she has several of the pieces that would have been together in a box but somehow “never had” the others.
(2) Susie is FIL’s niece, was MIL’s niece by marriage. The “family line” would not run to niece but rather to MIL’s side, so none of this would have been Susie’s ancestor’s jewelry.
(3) Most of what is missing is gold and precious gemstone rings, gold and diamond, gold and pearl. We have photos of everything and there are numerous high value items missing.
(4) The value of what Susie acknowledges she has is in the tens of thousands, solely on weight of gold alone, never mind any additional value in the vintage/antique settings or the precious gems.
(5) MIL was a compulsive shopper with very high end taste (because “she deserved it”). She spent A LOT on jewelry, and her husband also gave her fine jewelry for gifts for decades (again, because “she deserved it”).
(6) Missing items include new-in-box-with-tags diamond earrings, many other new-with-tags gold and gemstone items. We know this from photos. What we saw in Susie’s videos was that she clearly has a number of these earrings and she’d liberated them from their packages and had been wearing them. We think she just decided it was all hers, incorporated it into her life, and doesn’t want to admit what else she has or what she’s done with the rest.

So yeah, long way of saying I don’t think there’s any doubt she has/had more than she claims and is now lying about it (or “creatively remembering”). I doubt anything else is recoverable from her. For my husband, it’s a lot more about the principle of the whole thing, but then again he is also ticked that she walked out of his elderly dad’s house with easily $50K+ worth of jewelry and never returned it despite promising to do so. What kind of person does that? And, what she has/had is worth real money that could be college tuition for kids. So, no idea what he will do once we see what Susie’s next step is. I think we will send her photos and ask her to carefully search her closets and drawers and think VERY hard, as it seems more went home with her than will now be returning, and last we heard she was the one who had it all.

Ugh. Dishonest people suck.

Send her a certified letter that she must return whatever items she has by x date or you'll file a police report for theft. Walking out with something very valuable that was 'offered' to you to by someone old and senile, who asked for it back, is theft. And it's probably felony theft if you can prove the value. She's not just dishonest, she's a thief. If she gets a knock at her door from the cops then she might remember where she put the stuff and hand it over to them, and if not then you should definitely push this all the way through criminal and civil courts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d show up at her house with your photos (unannounced) and compare directly against her collection. I doubt she sold it—reselling jewelry is difficult.

... with the police. And the FIL. To retrieve his property.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d show up at her house with your photos (unannounced) and compare directly against her collection. I doubt she sold it—reselling jewelry is difficult.

... with the police. And the FIL. To retrieve his property.

You’re quoting me. I’m a lawyer. The police are not going to tag along with this. Police don’t really GAF about familial squabbles.

Everyone else yammering about civil suits and criminal charges are similarly off their rockers. Being legally right isn’t nearly as helpful as people think. Catching her off guard is your best hope.

[Anonymous]

You waited too long, and she sold it.

[Anonymous]

Also your FIL is an idiot.

[Anonymous]

I'd play up the fact that he was 80+ at the time. Theft from an elderly victim carries further punishment in certain jurisdictions. Look into it.