How to Split Nanny Share Costs

[Anonymous]

Get a new family who wants the same hours as you. It will be a lot easier on nanny, too, because 7:30 is an early start for her and means she'll be leaving her house even earlier to there.

[Anonymous]

Find someone else who is willing to do 8:30 to 5--there are a lot of them. Those are our official hours for our share and we usually pick up around 4:30 (though it's nice to know they have care until 5 if we need it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO you being the host (as long as you provide a specific room/bathroom for the daycare needs) and providing food means costs should be split 60/40 in your favor instead of 50/50.

So if you're paying the nanny $4,000/mo collectively - then you need to be paying $1,600/mo and the other family should be paying $2,400/mo.

Just my thoughts. That also means you just suck it up that the nanny + baby arrive at 7:30AM and you insure there's food and toys in the house enough for both infants. Diapers too.

This is complicated, and if I was the family who wasn't hosting, I would find the ~$200/week extra unfair. You have the benefit that you don't have to drop off or pick up your kid or buy "extras" of items needed at nanny share, and you may get the benefit of the nanny taking care of "light housework" related to the baby (baby's laundry, etc.)

Most shares work that everyone provides their own diapers. Wipes might be shared and you just each take turns buying them. A good food compromise is to offer them fridge space / cabinet space that they stock weekly or similar, assuming they want the nanny to cook/prep meals (which is a usual nanny job). I would be annoyed to join a share where I had to prepare my kids lunch and the nanny prepared lunch for the other kid. I'd be happy to provide ingredients as needed.

In our share, we sometimes allowed a sibling to also be cared for when needed. The nanny got paid more and we got a discounted rate for those days. Something to consider with your nanny and the other family.

Cooking two different lunches is a no go. Assembling different sandwiches is fine.

No housekeeping other than just cleaning up after themselves. No laundry.

OK. Well, it depends on what you can get agreement on. I would not accept a 60/40 split. I would want 50/50 (align on hours), and then an offset based specifically on any costs you incur. Packing lunch daily would be a no go for me, honestly. That's one benefit of a nanny is less food prep/worry. But if the other family is on board, great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO you being the host (as long as you provide a specific room/bathroom for the daycare needs) and providing food means costs should be split 60/40 in your favor instead of 50/50.

So if you're paying the nanny $4,000/mo collectively - then you need to be paying $1,600/mo and the other family should be paying $2,400/mo.

Just my thoughts. That also means you just suck it up that the nanny + baby arrive at 7:30AM and you insure there's food and toys in the house enough for both infants. Diapers too.

This is complicated, and if I was the family who wasn't hosting, I would find the ~$200/week extra unfair. You have the benefit that you don't have to drop off or pick up your kid or buy "extras" of items needed at nanny share, and you may get the benefit of the nanny taking care of "light housework" related to the baby (baby's laundry, etc.)

Most shares work that everyone provides their own diapers. Wipes might be shared and you just each take turns buying them. A good food compromise is to offer them fridge space / cabinet space that they stock weekly or similar, assuming they want the nanny to cook/prep meals (which is a usual nanny job). I would be annoyed to join a share where I had to prepare my kids lunch and the nanny prepared lunch for the other kid. I'd be happy to provide ingredients as needed.

In our share, we sometimes allowed a sibling to also be cared for when needed. The nanny got paid more and we got a discounted rate for those days. Something to consider with your nanny and the other family.

Cooking two different lunches is a no go. Assembling different sandwiches is fine.

No housekeeping other than just cleaning up after themselves. No laundry.

OK. Well, it depends on what you can get agreement on. I would not accept a 60/40 split. I would want 50/50 (align on hours), and then an offset based specifically on any costs you incur. Packing lunch daily would be a no go for me, honestly. That's one benefit of a nanny is less food prep/worry. But if the other family is on board, great.

Why would anyone pay 50% while they're WFH with not just their own screaming baby but someone else's and the nanny in the same home?

[Anonymous]

You both pay equal share and they need to provide their own food, diapers, wipes, etc. as this isn't a day care center. You need to pay extra when the older child is home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO you being the host (as long as you provide a specific room/bathroom for the daycare needs) and providing food means costs should be split 60/40 in your favor instead of 50/50.

So if you're paying the nanny $4,000/mo collectively - then you need to be paying $1,600/mo and the other family should be paying $2,400/mo.

Just my thoughts. That also means you just suck it up that the nanny + baby arrive at 7:30AM and you insure there's food and toys in the house enough for both infants. Diapers too.

This is complicated, and if I was the family who wasn't hosting, I would find the ~$200/week extra unfair. You have the benefit that you don't have to drop off or pick up your kid or buy "extras" of items needed at nanny share, and you may get the benefit of the nanny taking care of "light housework" related to the baby (baby's laundry, etc.)

Most shares work that everyone provides their own diapers. Wipes might be shared and you just each take turns buying them. A good food compromise is to offer them fridge space / cabinet space that they stock weekly or similar, assuming they want the nanny to cook/prep meals (which is a usual nanny job). I would be annoyed to join a share where I had to prepare my kids lunch and the nanny prepared lunch for the other kid. I'd be happy to provide ingredients as needed.

In our share, we sometimes allowed a sibling to also be cared for when needed. The nanny got paid more and we got a discounted rate for those days. Something to consider with your nanny and the other family.

Cooking two different lunches is a no go. Assembling different sandwiches is fine.

No housekeeping other than just cleaning up after themselves. No laundry.

OK. Well, it depends on what you can get agreement on. I would not accept a 60/40 split. I would want 50/50 (align on hours), and then an offset based specifically on any costs you incur. Packing lunch daily would be a no go for me, honestly. That's one benefit of a nanny is less food prep/worry. But if the other family is on board, great.

You need to provide food and necessities for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[
You need to provide food and necessities for your child.

Agree. That is how most nanny shares work.

The only confusion here seems to be the food. In our share (other family hosted) we were offered food storage at the house and the nanny prepares the food from there. Sometimes it was easier to send already prepared food, sometimes the nanny had to prep some things. I don't know how complex people expect toddler lunches to be, but our share it was not a problem to have different food. Simple meals. Plenty of parents probably are happy to pack a lunch if this is not workable for whatever reason...

We are no longer in a share. The WFH thing adds another dimension. I would offer to split hosting, which is another common arrangement. I have never heard of the hosting family paying less, especially not as a percentage, but if everyone involved in the share agrees, that is what matters. It could make sense in these WFH times.

[Anonymous]

I came on this board years ago to ask about how we should look at costs of splitting a nanny share since we were the host family and the nanny (and in some instances their baby) used our resources. I got absolutely reamed for even posing this question because "it was more convenient for us" to host. Meanwhile, the dad of the other kid WFH in an empty, quiet house.

I'm glad you're getting some real suggestions as opposed to the response I got last time around.

[Anonymous]

Again thanks everyone for your input. My older son will be home for about an hr on the tail end when the other family has already left.

I've realized that the difference in hours was complicating the arrangement and essentially making it more costly for both families with each of having to pick up a full, non- nanny share rate and a 50 hr week for the nanny. So we decided to continue our search and find a family where the hours align better.

As far as food goes, we would provide extra cabinet space and fridge space for the other family to bring items that their child prefers. When it comes to preparing lunch, I imagine if the kids don't like eating the same things the nanny would have to prepare 2 slightly different lunches. So I think the other family packing their kid's lunch would be easier. I guess it comes down to trial and error at the beginning to see if the kids will eat common things.

If the nanny were to prepare lunch for both kids. And we'd provide milk and all food/ snacks, what's a reasonable grocery contribution from the other family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again thanks everyone for your input. My older son will be home for about an hr on the tail end when the other family has already left.

I've realized that the difference in hours was complicating the arrangement and essentially making it more costly for both families with each of having to pick up a full, non- nanny share rate and a 50 hr week for the nanny. So we decided to continue our search and find a family where the hours align better.

As far as food goes, we would provide extra cabinet space and fridge space for the other family to bring items that their child prefers. When it comes to preparing lunch, I imagine if the kids don't like eating the same things the nanny would have to prepare 2 slightly different lunches. So I think the other family packing their kid's lunch would be easier. I guess it comes down to trial and error at the beginning to see if the kids will eat common things.

If the nanny were to prepare lunch for both kids. And we'd provide milk and all food/ snacks, what's a reasonable grocery contribution from the other family?

Nanny here.

I’m fine with prepping two simple lunches (toddler 1 is crackers, cheese, carrots, hummus and strawberries; toddler 2 gets pita, peanut butter, celery, ranch, and apple). I’m not cooking multiple dishes for each child (toddler 1 steamed carrot, homemade chicken tender, mashed potato, milk and pear; toddler 2 homemade fish sticks, fresh rice, steamed beet, cheese, blueberry). Yes, I was asked to cook meals like above, meals that didn’t overlap, and leftovers were verboten. Nope, not even considering it.

I’m happy to batch cook for both kids and I freeze enough for both kids; I do it during naptime and/or as a morning activity with toddlers or preschoolers “helping” me. That makes lunch a matter of finishing the cooking, rather than starting from scratch. 30 minutes to heat vs 1.5 hours start to finish, and I don’t have to keep track of what is for each child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As far as food goes, we would provide extra cabinet space and fridge space for the other family to bring items that their child prefers. When it comes to preparing lunch, I imagine if the kids don't like eating the same things the nanny would have to prepare 2 slightly different lunches. So I think the other family packing their kid's lunch would be easier. I guess it comes down to trial and error at the beginning to see if the kids will eat common things.

If the nanny were to prepare lunch for both kids. And we'd provide milk and all food/ snacks, what's a reasonable grocery contribution from the other family?

I think with matching hours, this is solvable. Talk with the other family and your nanny about what will work. I honestly have no idea what portion of my food budget my toddler takes up. If this came up in my share, I'd take a look at grocery receipts / prices for a sample week's work of toddler lunch/snack/milk food and use that as a basis of estimate. Off the top of my head, it shouldn't be more than $50/week, i.e. two toddlers should be far less than $100/week to feed. Entire families spend that much (granted, probably not DCUM families).