If you have 3 or more kids, what was the number transition?

For me, 0 to 1 was the hardest.

For DH it was 1 to 2.

We now have 3, and 2 to 3 was by far the easiest for both of us. That said, we're also done at 3.

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07/26/2020 14:34

Subject: If you have 3 or more kids, what was the number transition?

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1 to 2

But I think have three kids is way harder than having two. The transition to three was easy, actually having them, less so.

How so?

I’m not the pp, but I didn’t find anything as disruptive to my work, my marriage, my free time, and my friendships as having our first child. Having my second or third didn’t really change those things much. But the day to day is difficult with three. They egg each other on, there is less free time, there is more laundry and cooking, etc.

I’m the PP, and yeah, pretty much this. The dynamics frequently shift with three, the laundry is a lot more, the schedule coordinating gets to be a lot, etc.—and our kids weren’t even in a lot of activities BC.

The hardest part is the dynamics, IME. With two kids, you have their dynamic. More than that, and it’s the multiple, often shifting ones that becomes really challenging. My kids are all talkers, too, so that’s a lot of voices wanting to be heard.

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07/26/2020 14:38

Subject: If you have 3 or more kids, what was the number transition?

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Anonymous

0 to 1.

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07/26/2020 14:46

Subject: If you have 3 or more kids, what was the number transition?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:For me, 0 to 1 was the hardest.

For DH it was 1 to 2.

We now have 3, and 2 to 3 was by far the easiest for both of us. That said, we're also done at 3.

I think 1 to 2 was harder for my husband too, probably because he had to really step up with two!

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07/26/2020 15:00

Subject: Re:If you have 3 or more kids, what was the number transition?

quote

Anonymous

0-1. Our marriage, my identity, loss of our community, being far from family. It was so so hard.

Once we were in the routine of having kids, adding more wasn’t an issue. 2-3 was the easiest actually.

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07/26/2020 16:22

Subject: If you have 3 or more kids, what was the number transition?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:1 to 2

But I think have three kids is way harder than having two. The transition to three was easy, actually having them, less so.

I totally agree with this BUT I spend a lot of time with my kids in the summer by myself. So going from 1 to 2 felt difficult but going from 2 to 3 wasn't such a big deal because I was already outnumbered. However, actually having 3 kids seems like mathematically much more work than 2--it doesn't feel like 3 times the laundry, it feels like 10 times the laundry, 10 times louder, 10 times more coordination of pick up/drop off/doctors appointments, etc. But I wouldn't trade it for anything, my third balances out my older two and is the sweetest and still gives me cuddles!!

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07/26/2020 16:38

Subject: If you have 3 or more kids, what was the number transition?

quote

Anonymous

I think this is very dependent on your age gap. My kids are 10, 8 and nearly 4 and 1 to 2 was my harshest transition (2 year age gap). The 4.5 year age gap and settled childcare situation made 2 to 3 a breeze.

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07/27/2020 11:46

Subject: If you have 3 or more kids, what was the number transition?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1 to 2

But I think have three kids is way harder than having two. The transition to three was easy, actually having them, less so.

I totally agree with this BUT I spend a lot of time with my kids in the summer by myself. So going from 1 to 2 felt difficult but going from 2 to 3 wasn't such a big deal because I was already outnumbered. However, actually having 3 kids seems like mathematically much more work than 2--it doesn't feel like 3 times the laundry, it feels like 10 times the laundry, 10 times louder, 10 times more coordination of pick up/drop off/doctors appointments, etc. But I wouldn't trade it for anything, my third balances out my older two and is the sweetest and still gives me cuddles!!

Agree with all of this, but especially 10 times the laundry. Oh, the laundry!

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07/27/2020 11:50

Subject: If you have 3 or more kids, what was the number transition?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1 to 2

But I think have three kids is way harder than having two. The transition to three was easy, actually having them, less so.

I totally agree with this BUT I spend a lot of time with my kids in the summer by myself. So going from 1 to 2 felt difficult but going from 2 to 3 wasn't such a big deal because I was already outnumbered. However, actually having 3 kids seems like mathematically much more work than 2--it doesn't feel like 3 times the laundry, it feels like 10 times the laundry, 10 times louder, 10 times more coordination of pick up/drop off/doctors appointments, etc. But I wouldn't trade it for anything, my third balances out my older two and is the sweetest and still gives me cuddles!!

Agree with all of this, but especially 10 times the laundry. Oh, the laundry!

Yes! I think when it got to be more than one load s day, it just felt unmanageable.

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07/27/2020 11:50

Subject: If you have 3 or more kids, what was the number transition?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:0 to 1

+1.

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07/27/2020 11:54

Subject: If you have 3 or more kids, what was the number transition?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1 to 2

But I think have three kids is way harder than having two. The transition to three was easy, actually having them, less so.

I totally agree with this BUT I spend a lot of time with my kids in the summer by myself. So going from 1 to 2 felt difficult but going from 2 to 3 wasn't such a big deal because I was already outnumbered. However, actually having 3 kids seems like mathematically much more work than 2--it doesn't feel like 3 times the laundry, it feels like 10 times the laundry, 10 times louder, 10 times more coordination of pick up/drop off/doctors appointments, etc. But I wouldn't trade it for anything, my third balances out my older two and is the sweetest and still gives me cuddles!!

PP you're quoting, and yes I agree with you that I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I do think that the issue around being outnumbered and solo parenting 2 vs. 3 is part of it. Taking three kids out on your own--or even just having them at home on your own--is such a different ballgame than with two kids. I'm pretty capable of doing it, but it was a learning curve. Whenever I hear parents who feel overwhelmed with two say they're considering a third, I want to scream. If you're already overwhelmed, DON'T have another kid.