How are you making child care/school decisions without knowing what employers expect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m telling my employer that this is what the child care situation is and here is what I will need to accommodate it and here is what I will produce as a result.

I’m not going to wait for them to cook up some half-baked rule that I have to try to get an exception to after the fact.

If you can do this, it would be best. Don’t ask - present your plan (with room to negotiate).

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should tell your co-workers making snarky comments that should ask about being able to work from home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really do not think my employer (law firm) will force parents into the office until school is back full time. If I’m wrong about that, I will use up all my vacation time and then take a leave of absence.

I work for a law firm too - and they are not forcing us to come back in any time soon. I hope things will continue that way until January (at least).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not my boss but my coworkers who have definitely pressured me to choose to go back to the office. The non-parents and parents of older kids in my department have started complaining and making comments about those of us with young kids not “carrying our load”. DH can continue to work from home or go in on a staggered schedule as is everyone.

We hired a good nanny for our rising first grader and 2.5 yr old. Our older child is in private school and the school hasn’t announced it’s plan and we just decided to keep our toddler home from preschool for the next year.

Wow this surprises me. All my coworkers with older kids constantly tell me they have no idea how I’m managing with 2 under 5. I guess your coworkers must be much older to have completely forgotten how hard young kids can be even without a pandemic and full time job to deal with.

PP here and yes, they say stuff like that but also add things like “... well with your lack of a commute... “ and “I wish I could be in yoga pants all day” and “luck you! “. I understand it. I do. And if I were working from home with no little kids here this would be a dream job.

That makes more sense. All my coworkers are also teleworking every day so there isn’t really any envy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not my boss but my coworkers who have definitely pressured me to choose to go back to the office. The non-parents and parents of older kids in my department have started complaining and making comments about those of us with young kids not “carrying our load”. DH can continue to work from home or go in on a staggered schedule as is everyone.

We hired a good nanny for our rising first grader and 2.5 yr old. Our older child is in private school and the school hasn’t announced it’s plan and we just decided to keep our toddler home from preschool for the next year.

Wow this surprises me. All my coworkers with older kids constantly tell me to my facethey have no idea how I’m managing with 2 under 5. I guess your coworkers must be much older to have completely forgotten how hard young kids can be even without a pandemic and full time job to deal with.

I mean I’m pretty sure they mean it. They’re teleworking too but without the burden of potty training and trying to keep small children entertained. I’m still meeting all deadlines and it doesn’t really affect them if I get up early or work late to get things done. You have a really negative outlook PP to assume people like to others’ faces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming my employer will expect me to work at full capacity, even if I'm still doing it from home. That means full-time childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming my employer will expect me to work at full capacity, even if I'm still doing it from home. That means full-time childcare.

This. We are going the nanny route (former kindergarten teacher). I know I cannot work effectively if I need to tend to my DCs and so does my employer but I have a demanding job so others might have more leeway. My DH also is super busy during the workday so splitting is never going to happen.

[Anonymous]

We were given the option by our daycare provider to start June 1st or Sept 8th, we chose the latter. I enacted the FFCRA and extended FMLA leave so that if they wanted me back in the office and we didnt have care this summer then I would just work in early morning and during nap and then take the rest at 2/3 pay. That hasnt happened and we were told to expect to WAH through the end of July. Previously we were being notified in like 2-3 week increments which was super annoying considering I work a company that is mainly IT related.

I work at 530am, 1130pm, whatever hours need to happen to get my work done but I also spend many hours one on one with my kid since he is only 2.5. I feel stretched thin and overstimulated a lot. My DH and I alternate hours but his job is not very flexible- his bosses say they are flexible but the reality is that he gets all day face-to-face trainings every couple of weeks, which I mean I have to be solo parent plus work or take leave.

Come Sept, we will let him start daycare and assume that at some point it will get shut down again during flu season. It is a home-based daycare with 2 related adults and 6 kids so the risk pool is lower compared to larger preschools and daycare. My DH is supposed to get a grade increase in October but with COVID he hasnt been able to meet certain requirements for the increase to be submitted, therefore, he will be requesting to go into work 1-2/week starting in September so that the increase, although delayed, can occur.

I will probably not go back into the office FT at any point this year as my schedule pre-COVID was 3 days WAH. I also share an office so going in for those 2 days would need to be coordinated and honestly not worth the hassle.

We are very lucky to have our jobs and I feel guilt sometimes about sending our toddler in Sept but the truth is he will probably only go for 2-3 months before it all gets shut down again.

[Anonymous]

I’m not waiting for their plan. The parents at my org have been keeping each other and senior management updated about school decisions, and we’ve asked them to officially approve indefinite WFH so we can stay flexible for the ever-changing school schedule. We’re not required to have FT childcare while working at home. But I work for a very casual, super liberal nonprofit, so they’re much more flexible than a traditional workplace.

[Anonymous]

My company just send email that they are planning to bring everyone back to office with safety regulations, and HR also mention “verbally“ that it is up to your supervisor if you have to come in person to work. My department is small, and I am the only one with 2 little kids ( under 4 year old), and others have no kids or high school kids. My daycare has been opened the whole time, first opened to emergency personnel, now open to all people. They do not require kids to wear masks, and teachers are not required to wear masks.

I am not sure if I should send my kids back to daycare because of this ( even I am uncomfortable) or should I talk to supervisor about me wfh? The problem is that there maybe gossip from other coworkers if I request to wfh because of childcare issue. And, as other people say, I expect their daycare to be closed in flu season, and I expect I may take leave if my kids have COVID symptom, someone from daycare is positive for COVID etc.

[Anonymous]

My firm asked and I told them I wouldn’t be back in the office until my kids were back in school full-time. Have you asked to talk to someone?

[Anonymous]

With the likelihood that you will have a lot of college kids at home this year, I would consider getting a part-time nanny over preschool that may or may not happen. And no, I’m not flippant about the reality of bringing someone into your home, and we have been trying to be very careful this whole time about limiting contact, but childcare is a real concern, and frankly, I’d think you’re safer having one person come to your house than you are sending your child to preschool.