“Police officers AREN’T our friends”

[Anonymous]

I’m a black mom, with 2 sons, and I would not stay silent about this comment. My 12 year old is starting to stay home alone and I absolutely want him to call 911 if there is an emergency and We are not home. When they were younger, their instructions if separated from us in public were to stay put and ask a mom for help, but if there are no Moms, then look for a worker or police officer. It’s a very nuanced conversation, IMO, for younger kids. Don’t make little kids afraid of the police.

[Anonymous]

There’s a real circular problem here. Most police departments have had a real problem recruiting over the last decade and can’t fill their academy seats. That makes it harder and harder for them to be picky about hiring, and harder for them to get rid of the borderline guys who are maybe but not obviously problematic.
Most urban police departments would love to hire more black men and women in particular, but how many college educated blacks are flocking to the police departments for jobs?

[Anonymous]

I am white, and growing up my dad always told me to be respectful, tell them your name if asked and do f say anything else. They are not your friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with your son. Mr. Rogers and his advice to seek out the “helpers” no longer applies.

OK, so you won't be calling the police if someone breaks into your home? You won't be calling the police if you see or hear a neighbor beating his wife? You won't be calling the police if you drive by your elementary school, and the windows are smashed in?

I demand justice for George Floyd. But I'm also not such a hypocrite as to say that all police = bad when I know damn well who I would call if I were robbed at gunpoint again, as I was four years ago.

Here’s the thing: I will call the police if I have to. I have had relatives, friends, and co-workers who were and are police officers that I’ve trusted with my life and well-being. But, having said all of that, I will never know, when I call 911, if the officers responding will be Officer Friendly or Officer From Hell Willing to Murder Me Nonchalantly While His Colleagues Watch. The key, for me, is that while many can be reasonably sure that a police officer will help them, or at least not deliberately hurt them, I have the deep layer of risk that’s associated with having to find out the hard way.

And I don't doubt or dispute that, at all. But for so many people who have sought and benefitted from police involvement for so many years to suddenly be like "police are not OUR friends" I'm like...funny, that's not what you said when you called the cops because your neighbors were setting off fireworks on July 7 a few years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Police officers aren't your friends. They especially aren't your friend when you break the law.

Or even suspected of breaking the law and for a petty crime.

Teach your kids not to break the law and equally important don't associate/be friends with people who do either. Don't put yourself in situations where you are likely to have negative police interactions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Police officers aren't your friends. They especially aren't your friend when you break the law.

Or even suspected of breaking the law and for a petty crime.

Teach your kids not to break the law and equally important don't associate/be friends with people who do either. Don't put yourself in situations where you are likely to have negative police interactions

You mean like: driving, walking around downtown areas at night, going to concerts and sporting events...??? How about, instead, cops fix themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Police officers aren't your friends. They especially aren't your friend when you break the law.

Or even suspected of breaking the law and for a petty crime.

Teach your kids not to break the law and equally important don't associate/be friends with people who do either. Don't put yourself in situations where you are likely to have negative police interactions

You mean like: driving, walking around downtown areas at night, going to concerts and sporting events...??? How about, instead, cops fix themselves.

NP. How about both?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with your son. Mr. Rogers and his advice to seek out the “helpers” no longer applies.

+1

[Anonymous]

The supreme court ruled long ago the police are not here to protect you I dont know why anyone would rely on cops for protection. Especially because when seconds count cops are minutes away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Police officers aren't your friends. They especially aren't your friend when you break the law.

Or even suspected of breaking the law and for a petty crime.

Teach your kids not to break the law and equally important don't associate/be friends with people who do either. Don't put yourself in situations where you are likely to have negative police interactions

You mean like sleeping in your own house in your own bed after working as an EMT?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So said my teenage son to his five-year-old brother. For the first time in my life, I stayed silent on this topic.

Poor parenting.

We are white UMC and fear the police - many are criminals, many are not. We gave the talk to our teenagers and make them understand that the cops are not your friends and moreover how to handle yourself with cops. Don't smart off, shut up, be polite, record it discretely (our cars have dash cams that pivot or use cell, pull over in lit area with cameras likely), no statements, ask for a lawyer, etc. Stay alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with your son. Mr. Rogers and his advice to seek out the “helpers” no longer applies.

I disagree. We should still seek out the "helpers". But, as many of us know, identifying "helpers" is not as easy as assuming that because someone has on a uniform, that they will be a good choice as a "helper" to seek out. And even when you've identified a potential helper, it's almost always useful to observe them at least a little bit before you approach them. Many kids are taught to approach a "Mom" for help, or someone like a cashier in a store or a restaurant as potential helpers. It's not the uniform -- it's the person who wears it that determines their potential as a "helper".

[Anonymous]

Your kid sounds like the disrespectful upper class kid I saw mouth off to a police officer in a park recently except at least that parent corrected the kid. Are you feeling like you really did something morally superior and impactful now OP?

Police officers put their lives on the line constantly in ways you coddled DCUMers cannot imagine. Sure, they are human and so a minority of them are not good people. This constant insulting and demonizing of police is idiotic and against the self interests of society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So said my teenage son to his five-year-old brother. For the first time in my life, I stayed silent on this topic.

Poor parenting.

A parent who has managed to foster a close and caring relationship between a teenager and a five year old? I'd say awesome parenting all the way around. And good on the teenager for protectively schooling his younger brother.

Tangent: This reminds me of another post on when it's appropriate to discuss issues like this with kids. This teenager gets it right. And good on the parent for being supportive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with your son. Mr. Rogers and his advice to seek out the “helpers” no longer applies.

OK, so you won't be calling the police if someone breaks into your home? You won't be calling the police if you see or hear a neighbor beating his wife? You won't be calling the police if you drive by your elementary school, and the windows are smashed in?

I demand justice for George Floyd. But I'm also not such a hypocrite as to say that all police = bad when I know damn well who I would call if I were robbed at gunpoint again, as I was four years ago.

Here’s the thing: I will call the police if I have to. I have had relatives, friends, and co-workers who were and are police officers that I’ve trusted with my life and well-being. But, having said all of that, I will never know, when I call 911, if the officers responding will be Officer Friendly or Officer From Hell Willing to Murder Me Nonchalantly While His Colleagues Watch. The key, for me, is that while many can be reasonably sure that a police officer will help them, or at least not deliberately hurt them, I have the deep layer of risk that’s associated with having to find out the hard way.

And I don't doubt or dispute that, at all. But for so many people who have sought and benefitted from police involvement for so many years to suddenly be like "police are not OUR friends" I'm like...funny, that's not what you said when you called the cops because your neighbors were setting off fireworks on July 7 a few years ago.

Do you know that black people have called the police for help, and gotten arrested or shot when THEY were the ones who called? Even as the victim of a crime, i have to weigh this risk. The police are a last laat absolutely last resort. They are not my friends and there's nothing funny about this.