What age was your child REALLY able to keep their room tidy.

[Anonymous]

I’m 43. Still can’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my 4 yr old told me the housekeeper would pick up the mess, I realized that my DH a was not modeling the best behavior (because that was something he would definitely do) so I started with DH and how he needed to model good behavior that DCs should not be under the notion that he did not have to tidy things but that fell on the shoulders or myself or the housekeeper. The motto then became in our house...everyone picks up their own messes.

Ha, ha my DD4 said the same thing and I realized at that point things had to change for her to understand our housekeeper was not there for her, but the upkeep of the entire house. We put in a specific routine in place in the morning. There are 5 items she has to do then she can come downstairs for breakfast.

[Anonymous]

My boy is 7.5 and likes a neat room. Makes his bed every day before coming out and dirty clothes to hamper. It's his personality though. My daughter is definitely different.

[Anonymous]

My four year old just started to be able to clean up with supervision (I have to say- ok go pick up your books and put them on the shelves, then pick up all your stuffed toys etc). It takes four times as long as it would for me to do it myself but hey we have extra time in quarantine.

[Anonymous]

Former kid here - I was able to do it when I moved out of my parents' house.

[Anonymous]

DD1 is 17 and I tried everything...everything....about three years ago I read a fabulous DCUM recommendation: "Yes your teen is crazy!" about other behavior, and as a side note, the book gave me permission to let the messiness go.

DD1 just cannot see the mess. BTW I have a wonderful DH who also is unbelievably messy and also totally un-trainable.

DD2, who is 15, is neat. She was organizing her room from age 3 on. She's very helpful in picking up for the family if asked.

All that said, I think just go for the training kindly, and decide you will rinse and repeat for YEARS. Have no expectations, just repeat.

That way if it's some sort of impossibility, you won't be getting frustrated/mad every day like I was. But, if the behavior can be influenced, you'll have some success. So you'll win either way.

[Anonymous]

Mine is 11 and we are not there yet. Whenever I clean anything, she senses a disturbance in the force and makes a contrasting mess elsewhere in the noise.

[Anonymous]

23:28 "house" not "noise". Wtf, autocorrect?

[Anonymous]

One child at 23. Another at 5.

Love both of them to bits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8

Same. Around 8 my DD really started to keep a clean room. She’d make her bed in the morning. Tidy her belongings before bed. Keep a clean floor and surfaces. She is likely just a tidy person, but it wasn’t until 8 that this appeared.

[Anonymous]

Who cares? It's not worth the fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? It's not worth the fight.

We are stepping on things and she’s avoiding her room and dragging things into our living room. Since we’re in a small apartment we have to curb the spread. I have bins, cubbies, baskets for her to chuck stuff in even if it’s not fully organized (which I go in and do every so often). The answers here helped.

I removed a few items and asked her how proud she’d feel about herself if she was the one to organize her room this time. After some initial tears it miraculously worked. It’s not as clean as I might make it, but there is now space for her to play. She can remember where her things are even if not organized. So minus the constant spread into house we might have a new way to do this. Hopefully it’s repeatable!!

I’m feel much more relaxed about it seeing her to engage in the process. She knows to clean up at school, so it was frustrating here. Having more realistic expectations and letting her find her own ay made a difference. Being hands-off in the actual tidying was enormous in shifting this. Plus lots of hugs when she felt overwhelmed.

Thank you all for your input and sharing of experiences!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 43. Still can’t do it.

+1....and a few years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 36, and my husband would tell you I still can't. And he's right

Same here, but I’m 39.

[Anonymous]

9-10ish. 2 kids, both girls.