Turning 50 and feeling really down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’ve never been good at anything and I haven’t really accomplished anything. I can’t seem to shake this. I’ve been crying and down for a couple of weeks and I’m already on a anti depressant. I just don’t feel good or proud or confident about anything

It's tough, I feel you I have a gratitude journal - it helps!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’ve never been good at anything and I haven’t really accomplished anything. I can’t seem to shake this. I’ve been crying and down for a couple of weeks and I’m already on a anti depressant. I just don’t feel good or proud or confident about anything

It's tough, I feel you I have a gratitude journal - it helps!

I am single, never married no kids, and I was really happy. I was dating a man 17 years younger. I was working from home. My boss became an abusive jerk. I was put on furlough. I am miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What advice would any of you give to a 40 something woman with one child in preparing for 50. My goals
-Pay off my home
- Retire
-Save for kids college
-Spend more time with my boyfriend.

I think that's a lot to do with why I'm at a happy stage in my life. We are financially secure, I don't have to go to a job everyday.

If you have a great boyfriend, otherwise I would tell women not to depend on a man for happiness. They will usually disappoint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What advice would any of you give to a 40 something woman with one child in preparing for 50. My goals
-Pay off my home
- Retire
-Save for kids college
-Spend more time with my boyfriend.

I think that's a lot to do with why I'm at a happy stage in my life. We are financially secure, I don't have to go to a job everyday.

If you have a great boyfriend, otherwise I would tell women not to depend on a man for happiness. They will usually disappoint.

But you're financially secure because you're married and it's a 2 income household. Single ppl have to work harder alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’ve never been good at anything and I haven’t really accomplished anything. I can’t seem to shake this. I’ve been crying and down for a couple of weeks and I’m already on a anti depressant. I just don’t feel good or proud or confident about anything

It's tough, I feel you I have a gratitude journal - it helps!

I am single, never married no kids, and I was really happy. I was dating a man 17 years younger. I was working from home. My boss became an abusive jerk. I was put on furlough. I am miserable.

What kind of job do you do? If you could go back a decade what things would you do then to not be sad at 50?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’ve never been good at anything and I haven’t really accomplished anything. I can’t seem to shake this. I’ve been crying and down for a couple of weeks and I’m already on a anti depressant. I just don’t feel good or proud or confident about anything

You are thinking in too large of terms. I'm almost 59, I know. I have a master's degree in a science and started staying home when I had my first. It hasn't been an easy ride for numerous reasons and I find myself a bit of an educational dinosaur wondering, what's next, now that the kids are grown. The way I've kept my confidence up in regards to accomplishments over the years is in small bites. I started a small online Etsy business and learned all I can about what I see, how to market it, etc. I took up both guitar and sewing and joined online communities, which has put me in touch with some wonderful people, including some incredibly creative singer/songwriters. I got interested in politics, which has gotten me close with so many wonderful people as well. So it hasn't been my own grand success that has kept me whole, it's been the social communities associated with what I like to do.

So my advice is to continue to gain new skills and go online and socialize with those who have similar interests. It brings light to the darkness.

[Anonymous]

Time for a puppy?

[Anonymous]

I felt that way turning 45. After wallowing for awhile, I took it as an opportunity to disrupt my life because I do not want to be in the same position at 55. No!

[Anonymous]

I'm 54 so I'm out of that hump, but I have something that might help. I never have time for TED talks but yesterday I made time for one about "chasing meaning, not happiness." I'm a Viktor Frankl fan ("Man's Search for Meaning") so I was drawn to it. I told my DD about it, too.

I think it could help you, OP! I listened to it on 1.25 speed.
https://www.ted.com/talks/emily_esfahani_smith_there_s_more_to_life_than_being_happy?rid=G78lqKqFgMR3&utm_source=recommendation&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=explore&utm_term=watchNow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 54 so I'm out of that hump, but I have something that might help. I never have time for TED talks but yesterday I made time for one about "chasing meaning, not happiness." I'm a Viktor Frankl fan ("Man's Search for Meaning") so I was drawn to it. I told my DD about it, too.

I think it could help you, OP! I listened to it on 1.25 speed.
https://www.ted.com/talks/emily_esfahani_smith_there_s_more_to_life_than_being_happy?rid=G78lqKqFgMR3&utm_source=recommendation&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=explore&utm_term=watchNow

This was good, thank you. It’s only 11 minutes, fyi

[Anonymous]

Turning 50 is really tough from so many different standpoints. Your career may have peaked below what you aspired for, you've been married a long time and have questions....the list goes on and on. But it can also be a great time in your life. You might soon have the freedom of being an empty nester and that creates a ton of free time to work on yourself. I quit the corporate world in my early 50's and took a low paying job with a non profit and it was the most rewarding work I ever did. I also took up a creative hobby that I turned into a nice small business and I made a ton of new friends through the work. It's really helped that I'm still crazy about my husband and we have a great life together. We are now in our late 60's and we are still both very active but we certainly have more aches then we use to but many fewer than most people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Turning 50 is really tough from so many different standpoints. Your career may have peaked below what you aspired for, you've been married a long time and have questions....the list goes on and on. But it can also be a great time in your life. You might soon have the freedom of being an empty nester and that creates a ton of free time to work on yourself. I quit the corporate world in my early 50's and took a low paying job with a non profit and it was the most rewarding work I ever did. I also took up a creative hobby that I turned into a nice small business and I made a ton of new friends through the work. It's really helped that I'm still crazy about my husband and we have a great life together. We are now in our late 60's and we are still both very active but we certainly have more aches then we use to but many fewer than most people.

Not OP, but I found this encouraging as I near 50. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Best thing I did was get back into horses at 46.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are in a lot of pain OP. That's good you're reaching out for help.

I just turned 50 as well. I'm still grieving my father's death, I have a really boring job, need to get into better physical shape, some stagnant energy all around.

I just started reading "Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. It's been helpful for me to lift my spirits and think of possibilities.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I know this is a cliche, but what's the alternative? That's what gets me through it. I know moms who died before they turned 50 and they'd have given anything to be with their kids.