Online learning not working for 11-year-old, at wit's end

[Anonymous]

If she really has ADHD and is trying to do this without medicine, it is probably torture for her and she probably feels bad about not being able to get her work done. My son with ADHD is taking his ADHD medication to get his work done, as he would be unable to do it without it (we tried).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 13-year-old is doing ok with online learning, seems to be finishing her assignements (although for some reason they take until 5-6 pm). My 11-year-old, however, is a disaster. She insists on staying in her room with the door shut so she can get on Teams undisturbed. I will check in with her every hour or two, and she has done *nothing*--no online lesson done, her paper packet barely touched. But she will insist she was watching a teacher video and is about to tackle something. Probably she's been watching youtube and chatting with friends the whole time. I think she has ADD and I did not see it until now.

I've pretty much given up on social studies or science but I would like her to get her iReady lessons done so she'll be ready for middle school math.

I work full time and need to be at my computer from around 9-5 pm, so I can't supervise her more closely. I am at a loss for what to do. I thought about an online tutor, but the tutor would need to see her computer screen and I can't quite see that working.

Any suggestions?

OP, your 11 year old doesn’t get to call the shots. You’re the boss. Starting today, she works right next to you at the kitchen table until she shows you her work is done. Otherwise, I’d let her know she gets to repeat the grade next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she really has ADHD and is trying to do this without medicine, it is probably torture for her and she probably feels bad about not being able to get her work done. My son with ADHD is taking his ADHD medication to get his work done, as he would be unable to do it without it (we tried).

This is something to think about. Might not just be her not being serious about work. See if overseeing/working with her works; might help you figure out what is going on. If her frustration is obvious to you if you're there with her, it might provide the clue you need to investigate ADHD.

[Anonymous]

My 15 year old is like this. She has to come sit with me at the dining room table while I work. She cannot have her phone with her while she is doing school work.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it’s a red flag for ADHD, inattentive type.

Attention: Since I have it too and spent hours as a child in my room *not working*, I have always required my ADHD kids to work at the dining room table. We have an open floor plan, my husband and I work alongside them, and can redirect when necessary.

Organization and prompting to start assignments: Kids with ADHD often have anxiety about starting assignments because they don’t know what and how to start, when! You need to help her start each assignment, and part of that is helping her organize her day in a schedule that she can just follow blindly. My son has a whiteboard he fills out each morning with times and assignments. I taught him this routine, now he does it on his own.

She can do it with your help!

[Anonymous]

She needs to sit next to you or your husband and do her work.

I don't know that most 11 year olds are mature enough to be able to work productively without supervision for the entire day. I was a good student throughout school, but probably would've slacked off without supervision from my parents at that age.

If the direct supervision doesn't work, then maybe it's time for an ADHD evaluation.

[Anonymous]

DS is 12 with adhd and admits having the temptation of the internet right there is too much. He was spending more time on YouTube than doing work. I can’t completely block it for many reasons and we can’t sit next to him all day.

We discussed and I now have screen time on his machine. It’s a mac. Things are not blocked or limited completely but he knows I’m getting a report of exactly what he’s doing. It helps keep himself in check.

[Anonymous]

Both of my kids have ADHD. Both take medicine. This is still freaking hard. They can't willpower through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it’s a red flag for ADHD, inattentive type.

Attention: Since I have it too and spent hours as a child in my room *not working*, I have always required my ADHD kids to work at the dining room table. We have an open floor plan, my husband and I work alongside them, and can redirect when necessary.

Organization and prompting to start assignments: Kids with ADHD often have anxiety about starting assignments because they don’t know what and how to start, when! You need to help her start each assignment, and part of that is helping her organize her day in a schedule that she can just follow blindly. My son has a whiteboard he fills out each morning with times and assignments. I taught him this routine, now he does it on his own.

She can do it with your help!

But your parents didn't sit with you, you figured out how to do it on your own.